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Airline Transmissions

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Apr 15, 2004.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

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    O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."

    United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

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    A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

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    A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

    Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

    Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

    Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

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    Tower: "Delta 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"

    Delta 702: "Tower, Delta 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

    Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Delta 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Delta 702?"

    Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, Roger; and yes, we copied Delta. We've already notified our caterers."

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    One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed.

    The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

    Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

    The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
     
  2. KSS745

    KSS745 The Geek!!

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    I want to know where you get those. If you have a site you get them from I would like the URL;W
     

  3. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

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    Sorry, they were just forwarded to me from one of my joke sources. I receive jokes every day from numerous people, and I thought these were pretty funny...