adoption

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by W420Hunter, Apr 22, 2012.

  1. W420Hunter

    W420Hunter

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    Ok so here is the long and short of it. My g/f has 2 kids. Dues to her ex she no longer has custody of them. As of right now her younger sister does. We have been talking about this for a while now and I am going to adopt them. This is going to be a private adoption. I was wondering if any one els had been through this? Just looking for the basics what the process was what steeps you took to get started things like that. Its something we would like to get done fast. Going to go to the lawyer monday but would be nice to know a little before going in.
     
  2. MrsKitty

    MrsKitty

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    Are you planning on getting married?

    Why does the sister have custody?

    Do you understand that you will be legally and financially responsible for these kids until they are adults? You will never be able to "unadopt" them if things end with their mother? Upon your death, they each wil have to get an equal or larger amount of your assets than your natural born children (in NC anyway).

    I don't want to ruin this for you but be very, very careful however you proceed...
     

  3. Zonny

    Zonny

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    :agree: This could get ugly.
     
  4. ysr_racer

    ysr_racer

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  5. smokin762

    smokin762

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    Nice gesture but, I think you need to think about this a while longer.

    Have you checked on Ohio Laws reguarding the fathers rights?

    I think if the father has not attempted to make any communication with the children for at least one year, the children can be adopted out but if the father is in their lives. Then you might need his permission. :dunno:
     
  6. Zonny

    Zonny

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    I'm really curious about why the Mother lost her rights. You could adopt them and Mom may not be able to live with you.

    Lots to consider. PLEASE think long and hard about this and know all the details and legalities before taking this any further.
     
  7. G36's Rule

    G36's Rule Senior Member

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  8. ustate

    ustate NRA Member

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    The laws will be different in each State of course but there is probably a time limit where the kids have to live with you before the adoption can become final. In Utah kids have to live in the house for 6 months before the courts will make the adoption official. More than likely you will need the father's permission. Are the kids living with the sister under DCFS (or whatever your State calls it, Child/Family Services) authority? If so it will need to be approved by them before the kids go with you. As already said if your gf isn't allowed to live with them now she may not be allowed to live with them even if you adopt them.
     
  9. uhlawpup

    uhlawpup l'Italia s'è desta

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    OP, I don't think you have really thought this through. Just the fact that you're asking for information here tends to confirm that.

    Before you make a mistake that will hurt the kids as much as it will you, please seek the guidance of a professional counselor before you see a lawyer.
     
  10. ClydeG19

    ClydeG19

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    Go talk to a family law attorney. They will be able to give you the best info for your state. It would depend on the circumstances surrounding the custody changes.
     
  11. DennisP

    DennisP

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    The fact that the mom does not have custody is a very big red flag. Because of her EX? naaa I am not buying it, could be true but I would keep my eyes open. Like someone else said, if things go south you would be on the hook for child support, that's child support for someone else kids. What caused your GF's divorce from the father? and why would you adopt your GF's kids? you are not married to the mother so why?

    I am intrested to find out the rest of the story and I am hopeful that I am way off base.

    Good Luck
    Dennis P.
     
  12. Zonny

    Zonny

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    Also, if the mother doesn't have them, why doesn't dad? Sounds like a whole lot of disfunction going on here that I'd stay clear of. History, has a habit of repeating itself.
     
  13. spork

    spork Caffeinator

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    I won't try to discourage you from doing something positive for the kids; however, why not just sleep on it for a while?

    If you still feel like adoption is the best thing to do a year from today, then great. Go for it. Nothing will be lost in the process. You can still be a father-figure to them in the next year, but you have some protection if anything does change.
     
  14. ysr_racer

    ysr_racer

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    Listen, nobody knows &^%%$ makes you stupid, more than me.

    And even I've got to say there's a reason your gf doesn't have custody of her own children, and it has nothing to do with her ex.
     
  15. SonOfMallNinja

    SonOfMallNinja

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    You're asking for answers, but have given us no details at all.

    How long have you been in a relationship with the mother?
    Do you have any experience with children, or as a care giver?
    How much time have you spent with the children? Do they even know you?
    How old are the children?
    How long have they been in foster care?
    Do they have any special needs?
    Are they currently receiving any type of counseling?
    Why should you gain custody rather than the sister?
    Will the birth father sign off on this (and he'll have to, unless he's dead).
    That's all I can think of in the first thirty seconds. You'll have about six dozen more to answer before any court even considers your request.

    And it is not something that is "going to get done fast". We did two adoptions in Ohio and each one took nearly eighteen months - and that was with the support of the county Jobs and Family Services agency, AFTER the children had been living in our home as foster placements their entire lives.

    I'm not trying to dissuade you. But judging from your post, you have little idea of what lies ahead.
     
  16. KommieforniaGlocker

    KommieforniaGlocker

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    Dude you are so *******ed its not even funny, and you don't even know it.

    Run fast, run like hell, they took her kids away for a reason and her ex had nothing to do with it, it is all based on what is in the best "interests of the child" and in a country that is biased towards women, she must be a real bad bad bad broad.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2012
  17. KommieforniaGlocker

    KommieforniaGlocker

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    The mother is really bad news, I have seen the crap it takes before the mother loses custody, I sit on a board that oversees court appointed child advocates.

    Do not pass go
    Do not collect 200 dollars
     
  18. vikingsoftpaw

    vikingsoftpaw DEPLORABLE ME!

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    There are too many unknowns here. I'd say that you need to slow things down a bit.

    Remember if thing go sour in the future, you can not undo the adoption.
     
  19. ATL Peach Girl

    ATL Peach Girl ♥Meezers♥

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    my thoughts exactly.

    Being that the kids have been raised by someone other than their parents, they have likely seen some things kids should never have to see, such as fights, and the fact that their mother is not raising them, or the father for that matter says they are not fit as parents??

    My first thought was "I bet these kids have emotional issues"......and they will get worse as the kids get older. They will sooner or later act out most likely. Do you want to be responsible for that??? eeeek!!

    Remember that when you adopt you are their parent till they are 26 if they are in college, you are responsible for all their well-being and financial care.

    It's a HUGE bite to chew.....just please be aware of what you are doing.
     
  20. AA#5

    AA#5

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    W420HUNTER, I strongly suggest you read all the posts above mine at least 50 times.

    Then read them again.