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Actually Taken From Classified Ads in Newspapers:

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Sep 28, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE *****.
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    FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
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    FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG
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    GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
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    FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT.. BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE A REWARD.
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    1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
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    SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
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    COWS, CALVES NEVER ! BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
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    NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
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    HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
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    GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
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    NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
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    TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
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    EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
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    JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER ! ; $300.
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    ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
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    OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
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    (AND THE BEST ONE) FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
     
  2. Dennis in MA

    Dennis in MA Get off my lawn

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    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2001
    Location:
    Taunton, MA
    All from Jay Leno. I love those.

    I saw two this week. One has been there for years. A liquor store in Peabody, MA (look it up if you don't believe me) called:

    Bunghole Liquors

    The second was an ad outside a bar in my town.

    New management. Come try our pizza
    Large Cheese Pizza: $5.25
    2 Lg Chees Pizza's: $11.95