Actual Newspaper Headlines

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Mar 1, 2004.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

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    Sep 10, 2001
    Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

    Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

    Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

    Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

    Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

    Farmer Bill Dies In House

    Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

    Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

    Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over

    British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands

    Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

    President Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

    Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

    Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

    Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

    Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

    Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

    Stolen Painting Found By Tree

    Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

    Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

    War Dims Hope For Peace

    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

    Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

    Enfield’s Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

    Deer Kill 17,000

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

    Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

    New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

    Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

    Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy

    Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire

    British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply

    Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

    Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

    Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

    New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

    Steals Clock, Faces Time

    Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

    Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni

    Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board

    Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

    Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction

    Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

    Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

    Headless Body Found In Topless Bar
  2. Guest

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

    HAHA! That reminds me of an old joke.

    Did you hear about the Cessna that crashed in the graveyard?

    So far they've found 342 victims, and they're pretty sure there are more.