A Woman's Dictionary

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

    Likes Received:
    Sep 10, 2001
    Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
    A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

    Bar-be-que (bar*bee*q) n.
    You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner".

    Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n.
    Gotta get married in a church.

    Clothes Dryer (cloze dri*yer) n.
    An appliance designed to eat socks.

    Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
    A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.

    Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
    The last two minutes of a football game.

    Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
    To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

    Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
    What you spend a half hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

    Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
    Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.

    Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
    Similar to a black hole in space---if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

    Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
    On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!

    Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
    A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

    Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
    Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.