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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by shu, May 11, 2004.
.......orders a beer and a mop.
A string walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of tequilla. The bartender replys "Sorry we don't serve strings". So the string leaves.
The next day, the same string walks back into the bar. He asks for a shot of tequilla. The bartender replys "Sorry we do not serve strings, please go away."
The following day the string stands outside the bar debating about whether to go in or not. He ties himself in a knot and frays the bottom of the string.
He goes in and asks for a shot of tequilla. The bartender replys "Hey aren't you that string that's been coming in here all the time."
They string replys "No I'm a freyed knot".
A man walks into a bar and yells "Bartender, give me twenty shots of your best single malt scotch!"
The bartender pours the shots and the man drinks them down one at a time, as fast as he can.
The bartender says "Wow, I never saw anyonebody drink that fast" The man replies by saying, "Well, you'd drink fast if you had what I have" The bartender says "Oh my god, what do you have??!!"
The man says "Fifty cents"
A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"We don't serve mushrooms here!" Says the barkeep.
"Why not? I'm a fungi!"
Polar bear walks into a bar, bartender says : "What'll you have?"
Polar bear says: "I'll have, ummmm
Bartender: "What's with the big pause?"
A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "HEY? Why the long face?"
No. . . .No . . . No.. . John Kerry walks into a bar . .
Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"
A baby seal walks into a bar.
the bartender asks "what can I get you?"
The baby seal answers
"Anything, but a Canadian Club"
Thank you, I'll be here all week.....
Descartes walks into a bar.
Bartenders says "Hey buddy. You wanna beer ?"
Descartes says "I think not" & disapears.
Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks
john kerry walks into a bar, and the bartender says,
"why the long face, john?"
a baby seal walks into a club.......
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"
So this guy walks into a bar carrying a 12 inch pianist...
oh wait, sorry. ;g