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A new outlook on life

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, May 12, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Joined:
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    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    A new outlook on life
    >
    > Gardening Rule:
    > When weeding, the best way to make sure you
    > are removing a weed and not a valuable plant
    > is to pull on it.
    > If it comes out of the ground easily,
    > it is a valuable plant.
    > ~~~~~~~~
    > The easiest way to find something lost
    > around the house is to buy a replacement.
    > ~~~~~~~~
    > Never take life seriously.
    > Nobody gets out alive anyway.
    > ~~~~~~~~
    > There are two kinds of pedestrians -
    > the quick and the dead.
    > ~~~~~~~~
    > An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other
    > toys.
    > ~~~~~~~~
    > If quitters never win, and winners never quit,
    > then who is the fool who said,
    > "Quit while you're ahead?"
    > ~~~~~~~~
    > Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
    > one can die.
    > ~~~~~~~~
    > The only difference between
    > a rut and a grave is the depth.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > > Get the last word in:
    > Apologize.
    >
    >

    > Thoughts for a Friday.....

    > Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
    > teach that person to use the Internet
    > and they won't bother you for weeks.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > Some people are like Slinkies . . .
    > not really good for anything,
    > but you still can't help but smile
    > when you see one tumble down the stairs.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
    > lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > Have you noticed since everyone
    > has a camcorder these days no one
    > talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
    > It pays no attention to criticism.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > Why does a slight tax increase cost you
    > two hundred dollars and a substantial
    > tax cut saves you thirty cents?
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > In the 60's people took acid to make the world
    > weird.
    > Now the world is weird and people
    > take Prozac to make it normal.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
    > profession.
    > I have come to realize that it bears
    > a very close resemblance to the first.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > How is it one careless match can start a forest
    > fire,
    > but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
    > You read about all these Terrorists--
    > most of them came here legally,
    > but they hung around on these expired visas,
    > some for as long as 10-15 years.
    > Now, compare that to Blockbuster;
    >you are two days late with a video
    > and those people are all over you.
    > Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
     
  2. matt3310

    matt3310 who me???

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    ;f ;f ;f ;f ;f ;f ;f ;c ;c ;c ;c ;c ;c ;c ;c
     

  3. .45Ranger

    .45Ranger

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    Standing outside looking in.
    ;i ;i ;i ;i

    Funny they also start with the same letter.
    ;Y