A man came home at 2:00 in the morning three sheets to the wind. He slid his truck right up to the front porch in the yard. He stagers out,and reaches back in the truck, picks up a duck and tucks it under his arm. He kicks open the front door and starts staggering down the hall. He then kicks open the bedroom door. His wife sets up in bed and just stares at him. The man said Hey, I want to introduce you to this pig that I have been sleeping with. His wife yelled at him, You drunk idiot thats not a pig its a duck. The man yells back, Shut up woman I wasnt talking to you I was talking to the duck!