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A Language Funny

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by scooterbear, Mar 21, 2003.

  1. scooterbear

    scooterbear

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    Dec 6, 2002
    Location:
    Summit, MS
    >
    > IMPORTANT LANGUAGE ANNOUNCEMENT
    >
    > The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
    > will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was
    > the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
    > government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
    > and has accepted a 5-year phase in plan that would be known as
    > "EuroEnglish":
    >
    > In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"-- Sertainly this will
    > make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
    > favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
    > 1 less letter.
    >
    > There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
    > troublesome "ph" wil be replaced with the "f". This will make words
    > like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
    >
    > In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected
    > to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
    > Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
    > always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
    > horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they
    > should go away.
    >
    > By the 4th yar peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
    > with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be
    > dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be
    > aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a
    > reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and
    > evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
    >
    > ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
    >
    > !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    > ;e