A guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. As he's drinking he notices a large jar at the end of the bar, filled to the top with money. This jar had lots of 50's and 100's, there must have been thousands of dollars in there. "Wow! What's with all this money?" he asked the barkeep. The barkeep replies "Oh, that's the prize for our standing bar bet. You have to do three challenges, if you complete them, you win the cash. But, I can't tell you the challenges unless you ante up first." "Count me in!" the guy says, stuffing a 50 into the jar. "Ok, first thing you have to do is drink this." says the barkeep. The barkeep pulls out a bottle of 190 proof grain alcohol and puts it on the bar. "No problem, It'll be like I was back in college. What's the second challenge?" the guy asks. "Well, I have my dog rambo tied up out back. He's a pit bull, kinda mean, and I haven't really gotten around to feeding him for the last couple of days. He's got a bad tooth in the back of his mouth that is really pissing him off. You have to take a pair of pliers and go pull that tooth without getting killed." said the barkeep. "Hey, I have a way with animals. I can handle Rambo." said the guy. "Ok, big guy. The last challenge is the toughest" says the barkeep "See that woman over there?" The barkeep points to the back corner or the room where sits the ugliest woman the guy has ever laid eyes on. She must have tipped the scales at over 300 pounds, and had more acne that the local 8th grade. She was wearing a see thru maternity house dress, sloppily feeding herself from a giant bowl of refried beans. "That woman is my cousin bertha" said the barkeep "She doesn't get out much, and I want you to take her out and show her a good time tonight IF ya know what I mean." The guy replied "No problem, amigo. They're all the same in the dark, and that much cash buys a lot of soap. I'm ready!" "Ok, the contest starts now" says the barkeep. The guy opens the bottle and starts drinking. In short order the bottle is gone, and he's three sheets to the wind. He grabs the pliers off the bar and heads out the back. The barkeep then hears the loudest ruckus of his life. He hears scuffling and shuffling, things breaking and flying around. The guy is yelling and hollering and the dog howling is head off. After about 10 minutes of terrible noise, it's suddenly quiet. Then the guy comes stumbling back into the bar, buttoning up his trousers. "Okhay" he slurs "Now whersh the girl wit da bad toof?"