A few camping tips: When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience. Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match. You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass. You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese. A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup. A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck. The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling. The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle. Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.