>> What do you call >> two Mexicans playing basketball? >> >> Juan on Juan >> >> Why is divorce so expensive? >> >> Because it's worth it. >> >> Why is air a lot like sex? >> >> Because it's no big deal >> unless you're not getting any. >> >> What's the difference >> between a girlfriend and wife? >> >> 45 lbs. >> >> What's the difference >> between a boyfriend and husband? >> >> 45 minutes. >> >> What's the fastest way to a man's heart? >> >> Through his chest with a sharp knife. >> >> Why do men want to marry virgins? >> >> They can't stand criticism. >> >> Why is it so hard for women to find men >> that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? >> >> Because those men already have boyfriends. >> >> What's the difference between >> a new husband and a new dog? >> >> After a year, >> the dog is still excited to see you. >> >> What makes men chase women >> they have no intention of marrying? >> >> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars >> they have no intention of driving. >> >> A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead >> are all in third grade. >> Who has the biggest boobs? >> >> The blonde, because she's 18. >> >> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? >> >> Mace will do that to you. >> >> Why do men find it difficult >> to make eye contact when first >> meeting a beautiful woman? >> >> Breasts don't have eyes. >> >> Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi >> >> He walks around saying "Yo." >> >> Why do drivers' education classes >> in Redneck schools use the car only on >> Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? >> >> Because on Tuesday and Thursday, >> the Sex Ed class uses it. >> >> Where does an Irish family go on vacation? >> >> A different bar. >> >> What would you call it when an Italian >> has one arm distinctly shorter than the other? >> >> A speech impediment. >> >> What does it mean when the flag >> at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? >> >> They're hiring. >> >> What's the difference between >> a southern zoo and a northern zoo? >> >> A southern zoo has a description >> of the animal on the front of the cage >> along with... "a recipe". >> >> How do you get a sweet little >> 80-year-old lady to say the F word? >> >> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady >> to yell *BINGO*! >> >> What's the difference between >> a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? >> >> A northern fairytale begins >> "Once upon a time..." >> A southern fairytale begins >> "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****..." >> >> Why is there no Disneyland in China? >> >> No one's tall enough to go on the good rides >> >> My, my, how times have changed. Years ago... >> When 100 white men chased two black men, >> we called it the Ku Klux Klan. >> >> Today they call it the PGA TOUR.