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40s and divorce......

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by BSA70, Aug 13, 2012.

  1. BSA70

    BSA70

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    In my 20s, everyone around me was getting married. 30s it seemed everyone was having kids, buying a home and going forward.

    I'm 42 and stunned at all the couples around me getting divorce. My wife and I counted 10 couples we know of split or splitting up. Some of the cases, it's the man acting crazy and just leaving his wife and kids for no solid reason.

    Whats with turning 40?:crying:
     
  2. CAcop

    CAcop

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    It happens around my work around that age. I think it is people thinking if they are going to try to do better they need to do it then because it ain't going to get easier later.

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  3. certifiedfunds

    certifiedfunds Tewwowist

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    I'm seeing it too. I hate it.

    More often than not the man is after some strange.
     
  4. MadMonkey

    MadMonkey Spershul Furces

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    I don't know about the situation around there, but more and more people around my age (28) seem to want to get married because it's the "normal" thing to do, and not what they actually want or are ready for.

    I don't want to get married.
     
  5. vikingsoftpaw

    vikingsoftpaw DEPLORABLE ME!

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    Someone else in another thread termed it 'Middle Age Crazy'.

    Strangequest is a common issue. I've had friends pull that crap. They don't realize that hot piece of strange isn't going visit them in the nursing home. They don't realize that their Ex is also capable to 'trading up' also.

    I know too many younger guys that have a single theme to their mantra: "I don't regret having children. I regret who I had them with."

    Also, I know many guys that have another theme to their mantra: "Shortly after marring my first wife, I realized the qualities that make for a good wife. I found those in my second wife."

    Speaking from the male prospective, some guys allow themselves to be come the 'Army Mule' of the relationship. Their spouse loads them down with burden after burden until they breakdown. Then, they are carved up and eaten.

    It can also be something a mundane, as a 180 change in life attitude that is not compatible with the other spouse. Like the case of my sister and Ex-BIL. After 20 years of marriage, he suddenly decides he wanted kids. She was then 43 years old and said NFW.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2012
  6. certifiedfunds

    certifiedfunds Tewwowist

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    What amazes me are the guys who walk away from their kids for the strange.
     
  7. G17Jake

    G17Jake

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    Sometimes people reach a point in life where in spite of having a comfortable life, they ask is this all there is.

    Sometimes as stated already, the man is after some strange.
     
  8. Averageman

    Averageman

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    Ive seen the other side too.
    Being in my 50's I have seen Guy's break their backs in jobs they hate, put aside all potential happiness in life to make a home for ungrateful kids and a shrew for a wife.
    You can't see every part of someone elses relationship, so who is to judge someone else?
    Having played this game more than once I have no time for supporting someone who wont work. Someone who brings nothing but debt and kids to a relationship and then suffers from depression because she doesn't feel fullfilled.
    Generally the advice I would give my Son is don't even consider getting married until you finish College and have a good job. At that point you can meet someone else who has made that choice and sacrifice and chance are the relationship will work. Probobly work out a lot better than knocking up the prom queen or someone you met at a bar.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2012
  9. Ummagumma

    Ummagumma

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    I see it around me too, although most are in their late 30s. A lot of crazy going on - a wife of a friend walked out on entire family, including kids the oldest being 8. No reason other than "she's tired of that life". I think many from my generation that grew up in 70s and 80s believe that the entire world was created for their enjoyment, and that one's life is supposed to be a never ending fun & joy. It's probably even worse with younger kids. Our parents weren't this way.
     
  10. Gallium

    Gallium CLM

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    It is something one cannot explain. You have to have lived it to understand.
     
  11. Snaps

    Snaps Hail 2 The King

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    all the couples I knew that got married in say early/mid 20's are divorced now in our early 30s.
    Most of it was people who believed they were 'supposed to be married' by now.
    And all those ones with kids the guys are getting screwed by divorce settlements, child support, all because the wife decided she 'just isn't happy anymore.'


    other thing I've noticed, is those couples who were supposed to be married, have kids because they're supposed to have 'em. And as soon as they have kids their happy life/relationship/marriage changes and they're miserable most of the time.

    I fully believe that having kids is the single worst thing a couple can do to have a happy life.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2012
  12. bigtimelarry

    bigtimelarry

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    You ONLY reason to get married is if you want kids, if you dont want kids then there's NO reason to get married.
     
  13. alitke15

    alitke15

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    It is what you make it. I was married at 23 now have a son and love it. Would not give him up for the world. Have made a lot of sacrifices and lived on what many people would call poverty wages. Having kids and a wife means putting yourself last. I remember when my wife took off 8 months after my son was born. Sold about 6 guns and just about everything else just to pay the bills on one income. You do what you have too to get by. There is no excuse short of cheating that requires you to leave your family.


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  14. *ASH*

    *ASH* FURBANITE

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    same here im 43 wife 44 , we got 4 couples we are friends with who separated and waiting for divorce just in 2 years . its crazy .

    and a bud of mine i saw the other day at walmart ,what was weird was i always see him with family , hes 40 got 5 kids been married 15 years , i jokingly said you out without thefamily?? then he states wife just up and left him and kids , i was shocked . i just dont get it .
     
  15. *ASH*

    *ASH* FURBANITE

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    thats a load , but whatever .


    i see marriage as a bond between 2 people and under god . it also helps to be married when problems like death , wills , and trusts , and any legal crap arises . also taxes .


    marriage is a wonderful thing
     
  16. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    Marry when you're both over thirty and you'll be happy for the rest of your life. HH
     
  17. arclight610

    arclight610

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    That's why its prudent to choose your mate wisely. I hope I never get divorced.
     
  18. tsmo1066

    tsmo1066 Happy Smiley

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    Men aren't the only ones going after 'strange' by any means. This is the age of the 'cougar' and I see plenty of couple in their 40s who are falling apart, not because the man is cheating, but because the wife is doing so.

    A good friend of mine is going through a devastating divorce right now. After 15 years of marriage, his 42 year-old wife left him and their two children to run off with her 26 year-old Pilades instructor.
     
  19. sciolist

    sciolist

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    That's even dumber than dry firing with stuff balanced on the end of your gun and the magic police grip/stance training concept.
     
  20. Snaps

    Snaps Hail 2 The King

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    don't really get what getting married has to do with because you want kids.. but hey.


    It's actually so common that one of our old friends just went back to school to become a divorce attorney after the 3rd, maybe 4th guy we knew got crushed in a divorce.