40 Things Never Said By A Redneck

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by johndoe25, Dec 24, 2004.

  1. johndoe25


    Likes Received:
    Dec 11, 2004
    40 Things Never Said By A Redneck

    40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
    39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
    38. Duct tape won't fix that.
    37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
    36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
    35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
    34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
    33. You can't feed that to the dog.
    32. I thought Grace land was tacky.
    31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
    30. Wrasslin's fake.
    29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Green peace?
    28. We're vegetarians.
    27. Do you think my gut is too big?
    26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
    25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
    24. Who's Richard Petty?
    23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
    22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
    21. Spitting is such a nasty habit.
    20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
    19. Trim the fat off that steak.
    18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
    17. The tires on that truck are too big.
    16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
    15. I've got it all on the C drive.
    14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
    13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
    12. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
    11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
    10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
    09. Checkmate.
    08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
    07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
    06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
    05. I don't have a favorite college team.
    04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
    03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
    02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
    01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
  2. vafish


    Likes Received:
    Mar 21, 2003
    Commonwealth of Virginia
    What about:

    41. My truck is paid for.

    42. I didn't know she was my cousin.

    43. Honest Mister I was just trying to help that sheep over the fence. (well maybe they will say this one, but it's a lie)

  3. whiskerz


    Likes Received:
    Mar 30, 2000
    ,ga. usa
    44. That washer needs to be moved off the porch

    45. I have to pick up some dry cleaning on the way home.

    46. Do you have a smaller belt buckle?

    47. I'll just have a salad tonite.

    48. Let's take down that rebel flag

    49. What wine goes good with red meat?

    50. Don't do that you could get hurt.;f