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25 ways to tell if you're truly a Red Neck

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Hkps1, Apr 10, 2005.

  1. Hkps1


    Likes Received:
    Nov 19, 2004
    Brandon, MS.
    25 ways to tell if you're truly a Red Neck

    1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth

    than your spouse.

    2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the

    dinner table in front of her kids.

    3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

    4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

    5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."

    6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

    7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all

    watch this."

    8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

    9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

    10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

    11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."

    12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

    13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

    14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

    15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

    16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

    17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

    18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

    19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

    20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

    21. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

    22. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

    23. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.

    24. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.

    25. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty
  2. gr81disp

    gr81disp Bushbot v1.0

    Likes Received:
    Sep 19, 2004
    Marietta, GA
    When Jeff Foxworthy said, "You might be a redneck if you are watching this on a tv that is sittin on top of a larger, not working tv." I almost died. Why? Guilty as charged.

  3. greenlead


    Likes Received:
    Jul 30, 2004
    NE Indiana
    NASCAR: Non-Athletic Sport Catering to American Rednecks