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2004 version Men and Women description

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Delta, Jan 22, 2004.

  1. Delta

    Delta ThExtremeMember

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    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
    (new 2004 version)

    1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

    2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

    3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

    4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
    SUPERHIGHWAY.

    5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

    6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

    7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

    8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

    9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

    10.She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

    11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

    12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
    FACILITY.

    2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

    3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
    DESTINATIONS.

    4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

    5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
    RELATIONSHIPS

    6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN! DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

    7. He does not act like a TOTAL *** - He develops a case of
    RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

    8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

    9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

    10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

    11. It's not his crack you see hanging out of his pants....It is MALE
    CLEAVAGE