2 Quickies

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Gunrnr, Aug 27, 2002.

  1. Gunrnr

    Gunrnr Senior Goofoff Millennium Member

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    Oct 31, 1999
    Land of Enchantment
    Final Payment...

    A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

    "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

    The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service with a note stating: 'Now you have everything.' "

    What Do You Think?...

    A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items.

    She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.

    "Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a real hurry. Could you check me out, please?"

    The clerk turned, looked her up and down, and smiled, "Nice t!!s."
  2. igrp

    igrp ut supra

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    May 6, 2002
    The Sunshine State
    An engineer, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation,died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told him, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven". The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took him to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. He then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah,yes." "Well," said the engineer, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention.

    1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.

    2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.

    3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.

    4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust. And finally,

    5. The maintenance costs are outrageous."

    "Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

  3. rlfjr

    rlfjr NRA Life Member

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    Jan 21, 2002
    Outstanding! I'm forwarding this to my Harley Davidson friends.