1) Foreplay is optional. 2) Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. 3) Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. 4) You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. 5) You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by. 6) You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. 7) Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8) You don't give a rat's butt if anyone notices your new haircut. 9) You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking He must be mad at me. 10) The world is your urinal.