Glockresistor,
I totally get what your trying to do here... i shoot my own manufactured 88gr jacketed hollow points in ALL my 9mm single stacks, loaded down just enough to cycle the slide, (i`m only killing paper plate targets @ 10yds) and my recoil is ALOT lighter than a factory loaded standard pressure 9mm ammo in my G43, and certainly alot lighter (recoil vs push) than a 147gr bullet. My 88gr reloads put me right into the lighter side of the .380 load arena, no snap so to speak of and a just a joy to shoot. So take it with a grain of salt when someone says a heavier bullet will produce lighter recoil... in a sense, yes, lighter recoil is perceived, as heavier bullets are slower, take more time exiting the barrel, have more of a push rather than a quick snap of say a lighter 115gr bullet that is loaded hot. Its a balance shall we say. Alot has to do with timing... how quick a bullet leaves the barrel, the amount AND type of powder being used. A light charge and a quicker burning rate of powder behind a much heavier 9mm bullet is usually the ticket to softer recoil. You only need enough of a charge to send the bullet out of the barrel and to get to the target, and still make your slide cycle properly as well... plinkers as we say in reloading world. Do be careful with working up 147gr light loads... many have lodged bullets in the barrel to achieve this scenario of lighter 9mm recoil. Bullet weight and powder energy plays a roll, a huge roll, to make it all happen perfectly. Now toss in the light weight of a tiny plastic gun, different recoil spring weights, slide travel during cycling, things CAN change dramatically and with extreme quickness. Especially take notice of 147gr loads where you dont have that broad of a range with powder charges, as simple as one tenth of a grain can make a huge change in what happens. The lighter the bullet, the broader the powder weight options become, usually. Like i said, there is a balance to making it all work together.
Take into consideration as well, a gun that can hold 15+ rounds in the mags, is certainly going to absorb some recoil. The G43 is a snappy gun, no two ways about it, especially when its only loaded up with just 6rds of 115gr factory produced ammo. Factory ammo is always hot, it has to be, so that it will cycle in most all guns made out there today, especially plastic guns which are already way lighter than the old steel guns of yesterday. Its the way it is, so we have to work a little harder to find something each of us is happy with, even with ammo choices.
I have a G43, and a Shield9, the Shield9 is by far a much softer shooting gun over the G43 with the same load. It dosent mean i like the G43 any less, it just means i would rather shoot a gun with less recoil while doing practice shooting but still stay within the same realm of a defense gun that i normally carry. My G43 is my normal EDC weapon of choice. Under stressful conditions, recoil is one thing i`m not even thinking about. But when your on a gun range, recoil is ALL we think about. Mainly because we arent under any stress, we have time to think about alot more things.
There is a link below that shows differences in quite a bit of ammo. Look at the table charts, speed vs energy. Not sure if this will help you or not, but its just food for thought anyway.
http://www.ballistics101.com/9mm.php
Guys please,
lets try to help the OP by not giving other experiences of bigger calibers.
Lets just stick with the 9mm recoil & ammo factors.