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I did good today...

2K views 26 replies 12 participants last post by  ranger1968 
#1 ·
...It was a normal, routine pick-up at K-Mart. I walked in, my duster flapping around me. But as soon as I entered, I met armed resistance. 5 men in ski masks armed with mp5s and mac 10s were waiting for me. They thought they had found an easy payday, they were wrong.

We stared at each other for what seemed and eternity, until I finally decided to break the silence. I told them 'we' wouldn't let them get away with this. When they asked who 'we' was I pulled out the shotgun from duster and introduced to my partner: Mr. Mossberg!!!

I opened fire without a second thought. The leader's insides became glorious outsides and, before his dying body could hit the floor, I had racked another shell and put a load of 00 buck threw another man's head. The three remaining wastes of human life opened fire but their bullets failed to hit. It was almost as if Lady Justice herself had clasped me to her heaving bosom and was shielding me from harm.

I fired another shot and another POS became acquainted with the devil. A fourth man took over behind a jewelry display, he must have thought it would offer cover and concealment, but no dice. Another shot shattered the glass display sending shards through his throat. He fell to the floor choking on his own blood.

By this time the last man was standing there, frozen in fear, a yellow puddle forming at his feet. I could see his intention of running, I shook my head but he made a dash for it anyway. Another well placed shot and his right knee was disintegrated. I put the shotgun to the back of his head and pulled the trigger, but it clicked empty.

I told him he better hope the cops got there within the next four minutes or he'd bleed out. I then put on my wrap around shades and walked out of the store.
 
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#4 ·
Tsunami reported.
 
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#3 ·
And you didn't find time to piss all over them. Sad sack.
 
#6 ·
Confirmed. We're going to need a bigger bag.
 
#27 ·
Cool story, bro, but points off because you never said that you "took a tactical bladed stance" , you never noted the time on your "Spec-ops G-Shock chronograph", you didn't mention your "tactical carry vest" or your "Les Baer/WilsonCombat/Kimber Custom tactical 1911 loaded with special Buffalo Bore handloads" and you didn't say if the bad guys gave you a "murderous stare" (my favorite) .....

You gotta include those details, and also whether you were at the store to buy a Sony Bravia.....
 
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