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Zombie Guy at Walmart.

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by LilWolfess, May 6, 2011.

  1. LilWolfess


    Feb 5, 2010
    NW MN
    So...I made a recent trip to Walmart because they had Federal .22 shells there for a decently cheap price.

    I also got off work early and got to leave town early, providing an even better excuse to go. If I go there in my mildly dirty welding shop clothes, people tend to leave me alone and don't run me over with shopping carts.

    If you plan to buy ammo from the wally world in my town, plan on spending about 35 minutes of your precious time waiting. It takes 4 minutes to find an associate who will acknowledge you (meaning - not swamped with people), and they take two minutes to walk over to the paging phone.

    Then it takes 29 minutes for them to show up, because no one knows who has the keys to the ammo cabinet.

    After that, it'll take about 7 more minutes for them to figure out which one is the right key, usually with the help of a manager. Said manager will get pissy if you tell them which key it is (the one with the orange tag thingy, use it upside down).

    Then you can finally get your bullets.

    Today was only a little different. Some extremely obese person wearing all black with chains and piercings and a crapload of tattoos walks by. I think he must have been early 30's in age. Then he turns around and walks by again, and stops to stare at me while I stand there in boredom. I wasn't really in a state of mind where I felt the desire to talk to anyone.

    "Rad! I've never seen a girl buy bullets before!!!"

    I didn't expect that one, so I knew the rest of the conversation was going to go downhill in a gigantic hurry.

    "Gonna kill some zombies!?!?"

    Oh look. I was right about it going downhill in a hurry. The guy was dead serious about the zombies.


    "What are you gonna kill then? Because like, someday, the zombies are totally going to come."

    "Anything I want."

    That wasn't the right thing to say to him, because he started visibly freaking out. I didn't exactly care, although I did wonder if he was going to call the cops or something.

    So...finally the lady shows up with the keys, and then the manager comes to help her with the keys, and finally the ammo case is opened up so I could get at what I wanted. Except, customers are no longer allowed to touch the ammo while it is still in the case thanks to a "store policy." I couldn't help her retrieve what I wanted.

    I pointed to the only remaining box of .243 rounds, and then explained that I wanted 20 boxes of the .22 shells.

    Zombie guy whipped back around the corner from where he'd been kinda freaking out.


    Key lady looks at him, then looks at me and says "Ha! I was totally thinking the same thing! Why would you need so many!?!"

    I just shrugged and said they were cheap. Then d-bag started opening his noise hole again.

    ".22 is the ultimate caliber for killing zombies! You are totally going to kill a thousand zombies!!! That's SO [bleep]ING COOL! You can like put those kinds of bullets in an assault rifle and just switch it to full auto and there'd be no zombies left!!"

    "Fully automatic weapons are very illegal in MN unless you have a class 3 weapon's permit."

    By now, I was speaking through nearly gritted teeth, hoping that if I bristled enough, he'd feel dismissed or threatened, or maybe it would be rude enough to hurt his feelings. Either way, I just wanted to buy my ammo in peace, and leave.

    "I have one, but I don't have that permit. They just say you need the permit so the government can keep track of you! You should come to my house and see it sometime. I have a special room for when the zombies come. It has windows you can shoot out of, and an axe to chop their heads off if they come through the window, and it's really cool!"

    Things were getting deep in a hurry. He just kept blabbering on and asked if he could see my guns. I paid for my stuff and started heading for the door as fast as I could without running. Dumbhead followed me outside, so instead of walking to my car (that had a couple gun cases sitting in the back seat), I walked across the street to a restaurant/hotel. He followed me there even though I told him to bug off a fair amount of times. I couldn't really shoot him since he wasn't posing any sort of a threat. I was just annoyed out of my mind and hate strange people that much.

    I sat down and ordered myself some good eats. There were enough people around that I wanted witnesses if he did somehow become a threat. After a moment, I saw him wandering towards me. The waitress went to get him a table and take his order, and Zombie guy announced that he was going to have a beer and sit with me. It would turn out that he had no money or ID on him, and got his butt kicked to the curb.
  2. ViperGlock


    Apr 2, 2011
    Sounds like the guy had a crush on you...:rofl:


  3. epoxy252


    Jun 1, 2008
    Sounds pretty creepy.
    Whenever you go to wal-mart you kinda have to expect there is a certain type of people that are going to be there there. Today at my local wal-mart, I saw a kid bouncing a basketball off of flat-screen tv's and no one seemed to care.

    The sporting goods people always take their sweet time at our ammo counter also.

    When crazy people try to keep me engaged in conversation, I just try to out crazy them till they give up and walk away.
    Last edited: May 6, 2011
  4. what a creepster. i sometimes wish it was ethical to flash a weapon to deter creepy weirdos.
  5. TBO

    TBO Why so serious? CLM

    Did you blade?
  6. Lone_Wolfe

    Lone_Wolfe Sandbox Refugee CLM

    May 1, 2006
    This side of a tombstone
  7. NeverMore1701

    NeverMore1701 Fear no Evil Platinum Member

    Jun 25, 2004
    Amarillo, Tx
    Bear mace. You're welcome.
  8. lpo

    lpo what?!?!?!?!?

    Dec 5, 2003
    I think I can say that open carry would have made this worse, not prevented it..........:supergrin:
  9. Vince49

    Vince49 Aeroscout

    Jun 5, 2010
    Indianapolis, IN
    Holy Horse-feathers Batgirl!! I think you also need a Taser or Mace ! Sheesh!! :wow: :upeyes: :steamed:
  10. RichJ


    Jan 26, 2009
    You should have started talking to him about Jesus and his salvation. That always does the trick for me.
  11. TBO

    TBO Why so serious? CLM

    Some gun nuts are, first and foremost, nuts. :uglylol:
  12. Luminary


    Oct 26, 2009
    He thought you were attractive and just tried to spark conversation. I swear some of you guys don't need to be gun owners considering how *****y your attitudes are.
  13. GotGlock1917

    GotGlock1917 Lifetime Member

    Apr 7, 2004
    Central Arkansas


    No kidding.
    I mean, how are you going to know if she digs you if you don't stalk her?
  14. DRZ


    May 27, 2007
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2011
  15. this thread = win! lol
  16. boozer


    Jul 24, 2007
    Hilltop, USA
    I thought those guys used "hatchets".

    That's what the decal of the running juggalo carries on their car window.
  17. GotGlock1917

    GotGlock1917 Lifetime Member

    Apr 7, 2004
    Central Arkansas
    Best thread all day!
  18. GAFinch


    Feb 23, 2009
    Shoulda told him your boyfriend/dad is a cop, pull out your phone like you're typing out a text message, and then ask him what his name is.