Please send me $27, two box tops, and a SASE. You will receive, in return, a Gonzo Decoder Ring; a Gonzo Propeller Beanie; and an official Gonzo Fan Club Membership Card declaring you as Gonzo Fan #139. This card will allow you to enjoy discounts at the following great locations: - My niece's lemonade stand; - My mom's annual garage sale; - The Salvation Army Free Clothing Store; - Select motels in select portions of select counties within select states during select time periods except when blackout periods apply (see website for details); And completely free admission to: - The sidewalk on the north side of E 72nd Street in New York City; - Central Park; - Your house; - Select shopping malls in select portions of select counties within select states during select time periods except when blackout periods apply (see website for details); Don't wait! Send in your money and box tops now!!!! Gonzo Offer not open to residents of the contiguous United States, Alaska, Hawaii, any US Territories, or anyone living or dead. Taxes, processing, and delivery fees may apply. Membership implies complicity in some activities that may be deemed illegal in certain jurisdictions. Side effects may include weeping boils and an oily discharge. Certain restrictions may apply.