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"You Might Be A Gun Nut If"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Nov 24, 2002.

  1. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    "You Might Be a Gun Nut If"
    *If you can count yer guns and yuh ammo, you don't quite have enough.*

    1. If you’ve ever dabbed a little Hoppe's on your neck before going on a date.
    2. If you didn't realize that Hoppe’s #9 IS NOT an aftershave lotion until you read this thread.
    3. If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and are now starting on the bedposts...
    4. If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...
    5. If Surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was anything you were looking for...
    6. If you bought a gun from a gun shop, only to realize you used to own it years ago...
    7. If you've ever shot out a 1911 barrel.........
    8. If you save brass and have a case tumbler, but don't reload...
    9. If you ever stripped the paint off of your car and then blued it
    10. If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn’t shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...
    11. If your computer passwords are gun related...
    12. If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1 Garand............
    13. If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you can wipe them down before going to bed...
    14. If your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts...
    15. If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons...
    16. If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator...
    17. If the speedometer on your car is in both M.P.H. and fps...
    18. If you call Brownells and they recognize your voice...
    19. If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot...
    20. If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers...
    21. If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to see which one "shot better"...
    22. If you've ever had to explain "that it's not the same gun it's a variant!"...
    23. If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro...
    24. If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photos...
    25. If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and were excited every time...
    26. If you feel that a golf course is a willful and deliberate misuse of a perfectly good rifle range...
    27. If you ever accidentally seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder...
    28. If your brass tumbler used to be a small cement mixers.
    29. If you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's Blue Press before you notice the girl...
    30. If you make $30/hr at work and spent 35 min- on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 brass...
    31. If you have guns in your safes that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by...
    32. If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't...
    33. If ammo manufacturers had to layoff workers when you went to Europe for a month's vacation...
    34. If you know the range of every tree in the neighborhood...
    35. If you can tell the caliber of any spent casing just by feel...
    36. If you plead with the gun shop to hold a rifle/shotgun until you have space for it...
    37. If you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster"...
    38. If you didn't get that last one because you don't have any "non-shooting" friends...
    39. If you driver's license says "must wear night vision goggles."
    40. If your shoulder is callused...
    41. If manufactures ask you how their rifles hold up.
    42. If you get misty eyed every time you sell a gun...
    43. If you don't know what "Sell a Gun" means.
    44. If you alternate Silvertips, Hydra-Shoks and Black Talons in your magazines because they look prettier that way..........
    45. If you guess windage and range every time you look at a road sign...
    46. If you went out to the range this weekend to shoot up ammo, just so you'd have some brass to reload...
    47. If RCBS answers your phone calls, "What have YOU dreamed up this time?"..............
    48. If you can name the parts of your post-ban rifle you had to (or want to) swap out to make a legal semi auto AW
    49. If someone asks about the president and you think they're talking about Charlton Hesston
    50. If you know the model numbers of your Glocks, how many and what size mags you have, and which are loaded, but have no idea when your anniversary is.
    51. If you've ever had to explain why you need armor piercing rounds to someone
    52. If you don't know that there is a difference between "the Internet" and "Glock Talk"
    53. If you have ever run out of gas in your car, but have never run out of ammo before
    54. If you know the serial numbers of your guns, but still get your kids' names mixed up.
    55. If you hold a firearms related record in Guinness book of world records.
    56. If you go to gun shows with a grocery buggy (painted camo of course)
    57. If you had to explain to someone what a "SHTF scenario" is
    58. If the National Guard calls you when things get a little too hot
    59. If you had a gun rack on your bike when you were a kid
    60. If you buy all of your clothes at Wal-Mart but own some of the most expensive holsters known to man
    61. If your name is on California's AW ban
    62. If you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you hear "colt", you are immediately interested.
    63. If your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.
    64. If your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".
    65. If you break off on a dissertation on how badly congress screwed Bill Ruger.
    66. If you anticipate another shooting session AS you are putting your guns away at the range.
    67. If you look at Shotgun News the way teenagers look at playboy
    68. If every street sign within 5 miles of your house looks like it came from Chechnya
    69. If you went to college, but owned more gun manuals than text books
    70. If the national guard armory has your phone number on "call block" because you keep making bids on their WWII artillery piece sitting out front
    71. If you carry a backup gun in case the backup for your backup fails.
    72. If you carry concealed at the beach
    73. If third world arms dealers consider you to be the largest gun runner in the world (but you keep all the stuff for yourself)
    74. If you were arrested/questioned about the sniper shootings
    75. If you've filled out more "yellow forms" than income tax forms
    76. If you have your own VIP parking spot at gun shows.
    77. If you hear someone say "it's about 9:45" and you think to yourself "good grief, the 9mm/.45 debate will never end!"
    78. If you sit through a violent movie and aren't bothered by gory violence, but flinch when someone drops a firearm (might scratch it)
    79. If the above has ever brought tears to your eyes
    80. If you have been banned from a movie theater because you always stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading.
    81. If you ever took apart your Nintendo zapper and installed custom trigger, laser sight, scope, etc. for Duck Hunt
    82. If you have more firearms than friends
    83. If you have insurance covering your guns, but not you
    84. If Hillary Clinton makes your skin crawl.
    85. If you slide your paddle holster on to check your mail.
    86. If you slide your paddle holster on to take out the garbage.
    87. If you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your the dark.....on the toilet.
    88. If you drive to work with a $1500 Kimber in a $500 pick-up.
    89. If you've spent more than twenty minutes writing "you might be a gun nut if”.
    90. If you only spent 30 seconds, but came up with about 40 might be a gun nut if's because all you have to do is describe yourself
    91. If you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty aught six"
    92. If you know how to spell 30-06
    93. If your guns are named names usually reserved for people.
    94. If you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it
    95. If you grew up with loaded guns all around you, but it never crossed your mind to shoot up your school.
    96. If you've read the Constitution
    97. If you know the second amendment by heart
    98. If you know the second amendment translated into more than 3 languages
    99. If you used to have a hill as a backstop, but now it has become a 30 foot high mound of pure lead.
    100. If you make your own reloading tools
  2. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    101. If you make your own powder
    102. If you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the difference when shaking the can
    103. If you have ever read an article in the crime section of the newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition", then assumed it was a misprint. Who in his right mind would get down to only 200 rounds???
    104. If that also make you think: That reminds me, I am down to 267 rounds. I need to go to the gun shop tomorrow.
    105. If your CCW is a shotgun
    106. If your CCW is a .50
    107. If your CCW is a LAW (Light Anti-Tank Weapon)
    108. If you find yourself doing trigger and muzzle control on the bottle of your wife's glass cleaner
    1. If you mount a red laser sight on it.
    2. If you have range data sheets for it.
    3. If she uses it in weaver stance just so you'll be quiet.
    4. If you had to buy her another bottle after your failed attempt at converting one to full-auto.
    109. If your girlfriend/wife is jealous of the time you spend with your guns
    110. If your wish list on MidwayUSA totals up to the price of a new car
    111. If that new car would be a Bentley
    112. If your already thinking about your next gun while your filling out the paperwork on the one you're buying.
    113. If the guys at the local gun shop send you a Christmas card
    114. If you own a guns you haven't shot yet
    115. If you have a room in your house dedicated to guns
    116. If when someone says "but what if you don't have a gun with you?" and after 15 minutes you still can comprehend how that would be possible.
    117. If the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and fuzzy
    118. If you shook the presents under your tree, and one fired a round out of it.
    119. If you've spent more money at Midway USA, Brownell's, and Cabela's than the companies are worth.
    120. If your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with you.
    121. If the Glock talk logo is burned into your monitor.
    122. If you have had a friend who thought knives were soooo cool and dangerous, then you showed him your AK-47 collection
    123. If you wonder why you must renew your CCW license every year, but your marriage license won't expire.
    124. If someone asks how many guns you have, and the answer begins with "about" (i.e. "about 50 or so").
    125. If you took an ink blot test and your answers were things like "an AR-15 sear", "bolt release from Ruger 10-22", "firing pin from M1911", etc.
    126. If you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
    127. If you have ever shot a hole in something on accident
    128. If that something was your TV during a Bush/Gore debate
    129. If you buy Hoppe's solvent in 50 gallon drums because your howitzer "likes" it
    130. If the gun show owners let you in free.
    131. If you named a dog after a gun.
    132. If you name your kids after your guns.
    133. If you time yourself each time you fill out one of those yellow forms and you're down to a minute flat.
    134. If NICS put your favorite gun dealer on call block.
    135. If you're only dating/marrying a girl so you can shoot her gun collection.
    136. If the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related
    137. If the wallpaper in a room of your house is firearm related
    138. If you have no wallpaper or house, but live in a dug-out underground bunker to keep your guns safe
    139. If you find out the girl you are dating/marrying whose FATHER has a huge collection of guns you hope to inherit......SOON
    140. If CNN does a report on gun control and shows a table of guns from a gun show, and one of them has your name engraved on the side.
    141. If you carry pictures of your guns in your wallet
    142. …If you have more pictures of your favorite weapons in your wallet, than your family
    143. If you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun to grab
    144. Someone breaks into your house and you get shot standing in front of your safe trying to decide which one.
    145. If you have emptied all your tool boxes of tools to fill them with ammo
    146. If you cant remember to take your heart medication but you can recall every date when you had a FTF in your Glock
    147. If you really spent time deciding if getting a Glock tattoo was really a good idea or not?
    148. If when you have no need for search have every gun website bookmarked
    149. If you bought a DVD player just so you could pause the scenes when a pistol was fired when it was locked back and empty.
    150. If you give family members gift certificates to the gun range for Christmas...
    151. If you get mad when all the good first person shooter video games never feature Glocks as a sidearm
    152. If you pray for the day that we never get ray-guns...Cause how can you justify buying that new reloading bench???
    153. If the local bar filed a missing persons report and you were turned in by the clerk at the gun counter at Wal-Mart.
    154. If The first place you went when you got your CCL was to Wal-Mart
    155. If your PIN number is your serial number ERU+++
    156. If your kids car seat has been on recall for 3 months...but you call Glock daily to find out how much longer it will be until you get your new frame
    157. If your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."
    158. If your wife has .357 sig brass as earrings
    159. If at the Tupperware party you show them your Glock
    160. If your gold tooth is made of melted brass
    161. If you get arrested for possession of a gram of black powder
    162. If your kids have Glock as middle names
    163. If your kids bike is on a bipod
    164. If you go out with bird watchers with a 3-9 scope
    165. If your walkman is made by Peltor
    166. If your kids vocabulary consists; ballistics, trajectory, clusters, magnums, parallax
    167. If your wife loves to shop at Glockstore, Glockmeister, Topglock etc.
    168. If You shower the bride and groom with brass
    169. If You double tap when knocking on doors
    170. If You get excited when you see the Target store logo
    171. If You buy your kids a book each and buy yourself five gun magazines
    172. If Your tennis attire has Glock logos
    173. If Your Golf bag has a gun compartment
    174. If You lubricate your kid's bikes with Hoppe's
    175. If Your banana holds 40 rounds
    176. If Your car is coated with Tennifer
    177. If You light your charcoal with gun powder
    178. If Your kids would rather go to a gun show than Kings Dominion or Disney World
    179. If You are the only one with a vest without a camera
    180. If all you can think about is the next reload you want to try. Example new powder, new bullet, different primer.
    181. If you reload from memory and forget the powder charge, and you loaded
    1000 rounds which are underpowered for your semi auto and rejoice that
    you have a bullet puller!!!
    182. If you still say thank you for all that 38 special brass your friends insist on giving you.
    183. If you can't wait to trade a handgun off for something different!!
    184. If your apartment complex cites -you- as the reason they don't need on-site security.
    185. If someone you've never met comes to your door and says, "I was given your name. Can you help me while I get my stuff out of my boyfriend's/husband's apartment?"
    186. If the person who gave your name is a local Police Officer.
    187. If your local Police Department makes a point of calling you at home to tell you about the sex-offender/felon who just moved into your area.
    188. If you've been in a local gun shop and had a sales clerk ask you a question about a firearm, because no one else in the shop knows the answer.
    189. If the above occurs so they can make a sale.
    190. If one of your local gun shops asks you to come work for them, because you've shown more knowledge than their employees.
    191. If the above occurs at a shop you don't normally frequent.
    192. If your local Police Department asks you what you think about the new handgun they're thinking about issuing.
    193. If you've ever been asked by your local Police Department to bring in one or more of your weapons for them to show off, because they're "Better than this crap we're carrying."
    194. If you've ever gotten out of a ticket by offering to take the Officer shooting.
    195. If you've ever been pulled over by a Police Officer so she can ask you to take her shooting.
    196. If you've ever been pulled over by a local Police Department just so they can ask you a question about one of your weapons, or your ammunition.
    197. If you've ever had people fly into the state, or country, just to fire some of your weapons.
    198. If you've ever talked about your latest acquisition and heard the words, "How the hell'd you get your hands on that?"
    199. If your name has ever been given to a new recruit at your local Police Department along with the words, "Don't bother asking, he's going to have a gun on him somewhere."
    200. If your boss has ever given you a box of ammunition as a reward for a 'Job Well Done', and you don't work in a firearms friendly place.

  3. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    201. If you've ever taken the day off work to go shooting, hunting, to the smith, or to purchase a new handgun, and yet you refuse to call in sick.
    202. If your primary requirement for a soft-side briefcase, for work, is how well it can carry one of your preferred sidearms.
    203. If when you hear Sheryl Crow singing the last line in "Soak up the sun" (I got my 45 on, so I can rock on) and you immediately think she's talking about a 1911.
    204. If you keep trying to figure a way to reload your shot .22's......
    205. If you see a "35mm vs. digital" thread and wonder why someone's comparing a canon (no pun intended) to a camera. Also you own $10k worth of photography equipment.
    206. If the truck you haul your guns to the range has at least two of the following: air horns, air brakes, 10/00 x 22 tires, a backup alarm, 10 speed road ranger transmission, air ride seat, 300 Cummings turbo charged engine, 100 gallon saddle tanks, twin 6 inch exhaust stacks or 10 tires or more.
    207. …And a hydraulic tailgate to get the ammo on/off the truck easier
    208. …If you also use the same truck for gun shows.
    209. If the phone number of your FFL is on your cell.
    210. If you have at least three people on your cell who you can call if you have a gun related issue or have a major problem at the range.
    211. You practice and practice until you can make a smiley face on your target.
    212. If your wife will let you "buy that expensive new shotgun" if you'll finish the honey-do list.
    213. If you refer to all politicians as zombies.
    214. If you convince your new wife to go to Valhalla in CO 'because of the shopping,' but she knows that the whole gun safe is coming with you.
    215. If your US Army unit armorer calls YOU and says, "You have too much stuff; we don't have the facilities at this POST to hold it all."
    216. If your kid’s guns cost more than their clothes, music collection, and all other possessions combined.
    217. If you get pulled over by the cops and they want to know why you carry so many guns concealed... and your explanation makes perfect sense to them.
    218. …If you get pulled over by the cops and during the conversation about why you carry so many guns concealed, and the merits of each gun, the ticket you so richly deserve is forgotten about.
    219. If your bathroom reading material includes things like Combat Handguns, Guns and Ammo, and the 2006 Midway Catalog.
    220. If the guys at your local wholesaler interrupt a gun sale to get you your ammunition.
    221. If you find yourself explaining that a Glock is a type of gun and that there are different grip lengths in 1911s, to your mother.
    222. If your favorite times of day are 2:23, 3:08, 3:57, 5:56 and 9:19
    223. If whenever you see a picture of a babe with a gun you notice the gun first..
    .. and you notice if her finger is on the trigger or not.
    224. If You think being a "Glockoholic" is a real illness.
    225. If your kids prefer Eddie the Eagle to Sponge bob.
    226. If you wish the "One Gun A Month" type laws would be changed so it would require everyone to buy at least one gun a month
    227. If your kids let you know when a certain caliber is starting to run "low", (below 2000rds).
    228. If your kids can ALSO show Dick Cheney, the proper way to carry/use a shotgun in the field.
    229. If you have someone in your family with the initials "A.C.P"....
    230. ....And you point it out every time you see them.
    231. If you have a Toaster that says "ARMALITE" on the side, that you got free from your favorite gun dealer.
    232. If you clean your guns just cause you haven’t smiled all day.
    233. If you have taken the time to copy all the entries into a single word document...
    234. …If you have underlined or bold typed those that fit you.
    235. Friends and family members buy you ammunition for gifts for the holidays
    236. If your license plate reads: "DBL TAP"
    237. If your favorite euphemism for sex is "concealing the weapon”
    238. If you and your new father-in-law go to a gun show on your wedding day.
    239. If you have Trijicon Night-lights in your bedroom.
    240. If you get rid of the microwave to make room for the brass tumbler.
    241. If your kid's huggies come in camo battlepacks.
    242. If your standard Sunday-afternoon question to guys selling surplus ammo at gun shows is "How much for all of it, so you don't have to lug it home?"
    243. If you are on a first-name basis with every major gun shop owner within a 25-mile radius.
    244. If you put a Hogue Grip on your car's parking brake.
    245. If you have framed targets hanging in your bathroom, hallway, etc. with tight groups that you have shot.
    246. If you help a friend move and discover a nearly new Remington 870 12GA HD, he forgot he had.
    247. If you give friends and family members ammunition as gifts for the holidays.
    248. If you name your daughter Tennifer...
    249. …Or your son Gaston.
    250. If you skip meals to save money for more ammo
    251. If you get excited when you get to the range and find some "rich or stupid" person left their nice shiny brass for you.
    252. If while looking in the classifieds for used guns it annoys you that someone can't spell the name of their firearm.
    253. If you see the word "lock" anywhere and think if had it had a
    "g" in front of it, it would be perfection.
    254. If while singing hymns in church you think its way cool when its on page number 308, 223, 9, 45, 10, 40, 260 (you get the idea).
    255. If you hear about a robbery at the local quickie mart where the clerk defended themselves with a firearm and you become jealous wishing you had the "privilege".
    256. If while watching a movie with relative or friend you quiz each other on what gun just flashed on the screen.
    257. If when looking at a new car you bring a tape measure to see what "toys" while fit in which compartments or how much ammo it will hold.
    258. If while showering you keep your Glock handy because we all know how durable they are.
    259. If in above situation you had the "marine spring cups" installed on your firing pin just in case you take a bath or its a heavy shower.
    260. If its 0322 hours you have to work at 1400 but feel its more fun to make up gun nut posts on Glock talk.
    261. If you think 1400 is a ways off and wonder just how much sleep you really need till you can get up early...go to the range and then go to work.
    262. If the 30/30 interstate sign annoys you because you know that your 308, 7 Mag or 30-06 (however u say it) is ballistically superior.
    263. If you can hear an anti gun comment or a completely wrong statement about owning guns, ammunition, hunting, concealed carry, self defense, freedom, and the 2nd Amendment... when said comment was whispered... on the other side of the room.
    264. If after hearing that whispered comment, you make a bee line over to engage that person in conversation hoping to educate them. You definitely ARE a gun nut.
    265. If you think the Second Amendment got gypped, because it should have been the First Amendment.
    266. If you've ever posted you kids target on the internet to brag!
    267. If having no other use for buy a heavy duty handcart and use it for transporting massive amounts of ammo you buy at the gun show and return said cart to store the same day you used it or day after you used it to get your money back to buy other gun related toys.
    268. If you need a THIRD gun safe to keep all your guns safe.
    269. If you need an extra safe need just to keep All your Title 2 weapons......
    270. If you actually can Quote Title 2.......
    271. If when crossing the border to Canada the cops ask you if you have any firearms and you respond by asking them what they need.
    272. If you get pulled over by the cops during a North Hollywood type incident and they ask if they can borrow some guns and ammo.
    273. If you keep checking your yard for the "flood of assault weapons" that was predicted by all the politicians on Sept 15th 2004.......
    274. If you're disappointed that the flood of assault weapons hasn't showed up in your yard yet.
    275. If you know what a .22 eargeshplitin-loudenboomer is.
    276. If.....WITHOUT A DOUBT...the next dog you get which is all black (ankle biters need not apply) you plan on naming GLOCK.
    277. If you get annoyed every time you see a 1911 that says colt and can identify the REAL brand.
    278. If ALL of your magazines are gun related and you have three of the same one for each bathroom in the house.
    279. …and can QUOTE word for word the articles!!
    280. If your favorite Beatles song is "Happiness is a Warm Gun"
    281. …If you really do think the key to happiness (meaning of life, what have you) really is a warm gun.
    282. If your favorite Aerosmith song is "Jamie's Got a Gun"
    283. If you think some anti-gun nuts would be a perfect "William Tell" candidate
    284. If You are somebody's gun info contact.
    285. If after purchasing a new gun , you tell your friends or spouse..."it followed me home so I kept it”
    286. If you leave for the range with an empty case…and return w/a full one to act as cover for a purchase…placing it in the safe acting like all is normal.
    287. If you ever put off paying your electric bill in order to pay your NRA dues.
    288. If you tell your wife to come over to the gun department in Wal-Mart to find you when she's finished shopping. (Tell me you haven't done that.)
    289. …And you bring home another 550 round box ..22
    290. If you take a gun to family reunions.
    291. If you are given a box of ammunition for a caliber you don't have, but figure hey why not....and buy a gun so you can shoot the aforementioned free ammo.
    292. If Glock Talk .com is your home page…or or, etc.
    293. If your wife telling you she sold one of your guns puts you into a shock induced coma.
    294. …If she is now your ex-wife (it’s still “ex” if you’re now a widower. Right?)
    295. If you go to a gun shop and find a gun you used to own!!!
    296. ...and buy it back because you feel heartbroken to see it there.
    297. If when watching a movie you see someone drop a gun and cringe at the sight of it.
    298. If your safe is in your den just so you can look at it when watching a movie.
    299. If you have almost gotten into fist fights over the internet arguing about whether RCBS, Dillon or Hornady make the best progressive reloaders.
    300. If the same argument starts when discussing which is the best auto pistol caliber: 9mm, .40 S&W, 10mm, .357 sig, .45 ACP, .45 GAP.
  4. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    301. If when taking a trip, you always check to see if they are having a gun show and you check the Yellow Pages to see if there are any gun shops in the area.
    302. If you find yourself excited that the unofficial "You might be a gun nut if...” list is now at 301 entries!
    303. If you buy gallon Ziploc bags at the grocery store NOT for food but to store magazines in. (to keep them nice n fresh of course)
    304. If you ever sold plasma to finance your guns and ammo…
    305. If after reading this you hit the yellow pages looking places to sell your plasma
    306. …but only donate with your left arm because you shoot with your right…
    307. If you have a subscription to more than 4 gun magazines and you can't wait for the mail so you go out and buy the same magazine so you don't have to wait.
    308. If you hated the movie “Pirates of the Caribbean” because they didn't have any repeater firearms.
    309. If you have ever been thrown out of a movie theater for yelling out that he shot too many shots out of a gun, or a gun couldn't do that.
    310. If you offer to email the list to interested parties.
    311. If you actually ask for the list.
    312. If movie scenes with “semi-auto” muskets drives you nuts.
    313. If you know the names of all your local gun dealers children and whether they will eat tonight or not. As in "Bob if I take 300 bucks for that gun, little Darlene will not get to eat tonight".
    314. If your local dealer let's you leave a pair of reading classes at the gun shop.
    315. If the local Police Dept's Field training officer has you stopped by the new rookies as how to handle traffic stops with CCW holder's cause they know you have a gun on. The third time which results in a nice discussion on how people can have legal machine guns.
    316. If when you are getting your fingerprints for another class 3 gun the rookie asks what you need one for? When you explain that this is your third one He asks why 3 you explain by saying "Well you guys have two I figure I need 3" When he says " We don't have any machine guns" you explain by saying "yes, you do have a Colt Commando M16A2 and a Steyr MPI-69 submachine and that 100 bucks says they are in the property room right now". He then asks the Asst. Chief who confirmed they were there. You don't bother to explain that you helped the former chief do the paperwork on both.
    317. If you and your friends can have a discussion with Pre, Post, Transferable, Form 3, 4, 5 sprinkled throughout without having to explain anything.
    318. If you buy a second Colt 1911 because it's slides matches your frame on your current gun better.
    319. If you buy a new coffee table where the top lifts up so you can attach a holster to it. Then wind up buy another gun to go with it.
    320. If you buy a half dozen police trade in Ruger Speed Sixes so you can have an emergency gun in all your rooms. Yes including both bathrooms. Yes no kids in the house.
    321. If you buy 20,000 rounds of 8mm because ammo just shouldn't be that cheap.
    322. If you keep a small local gun shop in business.
    323. If you buy out the ammo for a gun that you don't own nor ever seen, because Wal-Mart was having a sale.
    324. If a local gun shop owner/gunsmith calls you to help him fix a gun.
    325. If you have Smith and Wesson on speed dial, right next to Springfield and Ruger.
    326. If you know the number to Glock by heart.
    327. If you have ever been asked to test out Ruger's new shotguns.
    328. If you ever sold an idea of a new gun to Browning.
    329. If your wife tells you that you left a magazine in her car and you ask her if it is the paper/picture/word kind or the holds bullets/goes in a gun kind.
    330. If you drive to the nearest newsstand in a panic to get the latest gun mag because you have "to go #2" real bad.
    331. If you have a pile of scopes on your workbench right now because you can't figure out which one will look/work best on the project rifle lying on the other end of your workbench.
    332. If you keep buying parts for the next rifle project even though this one is dragging on so long.
    333. If you go to the gun shop to pick up an AR lower receiver but end up buying another scope.
    334. If two of your co-workers call you over because they are having a gun related argument and want you to settle it.
    335. If two of your co-workers are having the 9mm vs. 45 ACP debate and one of them don't want to call you over because they already know what you are going to say.
    336. If you use a catalog in the gun shop to prove to the new counter guy that the p/n for Hornady XTP/HP .45 ACP bullets is the same as the p/n for .45 GAP bullets because they are the same and not different calibers like he insist they are, and then go on to show him that the RCBS 3 die TC pistol die set is the same for both rounds (He tried to tell us that a .45 GAP was actually .32xxx in diameter but because the ballistics were so similar to ACP they "just called it a .45")
    337. If you keep thinking about personal experiences and typing them up as "you might be a gun nut" lines.
    338. If you know what the difference in an A-1, A-2, and "other" birdcages are and describe each in detail.
    339. If while watching the movie US Marshals you stand up and cheer when Tommy Lee Jones states "Ya need to get rid of that nickel plated sissy pistol and get yourself a GLOCK!!"
    340. If you dream of some glorious day of owning the entire GLOCK family.
    341. If you plan to use at least 3 of the ideas mentioned in the "You Might Be a Gun Nut" thread.
    342. If your Wallet is camo and made by Remington.
    343. If you also bought a Remington leash and collar (Also camo) for your German Shepherd because your main deer rifle happens to be a Remington.
    344. If you spend the last 45 minutes reading this forum and went "Yep I can see that!" or "What’s wrong with that?"
    345. If you ever tried to get your Dog a holster for his Remington collar.
    346. ... if you couldn’t find one so you modified one of yours to fit.
    347. If you bought a Remington electric shaver because it was the only brand name you recognized-.
    348. …And after you got it home you tried to figure out where the bullets go.
    349. If FBI agents have ever asked you to settle an argument about how to do a TRB (Tap Rack Bang).
    350. If the owner of your local gun shop has ever asked you to be a godfather to one of his children.
    351. If the emergency kit in your car contains flashlight, Jumper cables, extra ammo, etc.
    352. If you hide guns at a buddies house during a divorce.
    353. If You only buy your kids BELT FED MACHINE GUN TOYS for their G.I. Joe's
    354. If your kids prefer their real guns (they wish they were belt fed!) to the ones their GI Joes have.
    355. If you buy HI cap mags for a gun you don't have yet
    356. If you use Hoppes #9 as air freshener.
    357. If you have ever bought out two different stores supplies of one caliber so that you could have one decent range session.
    358. If Gaston Glock is on your Christmas card list.
    359. If you’re on Gaston’s Christmas card list!
    360. If Gaston calls you at home asking for the specs on that slim line, full size 9mm, .40 &.45 you have always wanted
    361. If Gaston asked you on your opinion on his new gun line…
    362. …And when you disapproved he didn't make it.
    363. If you think the words to a night before Christmas are: On Steyr on Glock on Browning and Ruger, On Colt on Sig on Smith and Wesson…
    364. If you have ever pictured Santa’s elves reloading ammo. (If you didn't before I bet you just did)
    365. If your child’s second word was "GUN" (first word was daddy). Boy! Was Mommy pissed.
    366. If your son drives you absolutely crazy running around the house singing the Eddie the Eagle song "Stop, don't touch, run away, tell an adult"
    367. If your son tattles on you that you left a disassembled 1911 on your work bench to go eat dinner since it was left unlocked and he could have gotten to it-unassembled is the key here.
    368. If your son shows YOU how to field strip, clean and reassemble your 1911, blindfolded!!!
    369. If you request the last digits of your phone number to be your favorite caliber......9999, 4040, 4545, etc.....
    370. If you pause to see why your boot/shoe feels odd while walking and instead of a rock you find a 22RF case (or similar)stuck in the tread.
    371. …and you KEEP the brass!! …If you get enough this way that they can be recycled and $$ used to buy new ammo/components.
    372. If Olin calls you when they get low on recyclable brass...
    373. If you have snuck so many new guns into the house that your wife all but strip searches you when you come back from the gun shop or gun show.
    374. If the local bomb squad detonates an old possibly live piece of ordnance that they have no idea what it was and you can identify it even in its destructed state.
    375. If your pickup truck has a rifle rack in the back window AND the front window!
    376. If you purchased over 100 firearms before you got married, just in case your new wife didn't like guns.
    377. If you are trying to help a buddy buy a new rifle an while browsing looking at some pistols, see a 'lady smith' and reveal/inform your bud: "Lady Smith's would be a lot better if they didn’t have that Lady Smith crap on the side, who wants to carry a gun that say's lady if your not a lady."
    378. If you look at a “Look what I found” thread on Glock Talk and immediately try to find one yourself-for the same low price.
    379. …And are depressed that you can’t find one.
    380. If you've ever seen a good deal on a firearm and bought 2 just in case one of your buddies needs one.
    381. If you find yourself using trigger and muzzle control on arcade games with plastic guns.
    382. If you have bottles made out of Lexan so it takes more ammo to break.
    383. If you have saved as your second favorite and G.T. is your first.
    384. If you watch cops to see shoot outs.
    385. If the gang bangers are afraid of you going through their turf.
    386. If you had to buy a gun from your favorite dealer just because some pansy demanded to return it because it didn't work. Then proceeded to shoot the dickens out of the gun that didn't work.
    387. If you agree with the following scale:
    1-5 guns: Starter
    6-10: You like guns
    11-15: You've got some guns
    16-20: You've got quite a few guns
    21-30: Gun nut
    31-40: Obsessed
    41-50: Arsenal
    51-75: One to be taken seriously
    76-99: Insane
    100+: Small nation category
    388. …To qualify for Arsenal status you must also have at least three black rifles, minimum of an AR type, an AK, and a .308 like a FAL/M-1A/G-3.
    389. If, while going to Wally put back the comforter you were going to buy because you wander through the sporting good section and find Federal Premium Ammo for 7 and 9 bucks a box. And take every box that’s on the shelf.
    390. If you made a special trip to your local Wal-Mart to see if they were running the same sale after reading this…And are upset that they weren’t.
    391. If you find another use for your kids Crayons-inletting the logo on your Glocks.
    392. If you look at the picture of someone’s rail light and think "I have got to get one of those for Home Defense...
    393. If in the morning you think "Now today, I am carrying the G-23, what can I wear that will look good with that?" …
    394. …OR "Does my G-23 or my Kimber compact go better with this suit?"
    395. If every time you see CSI, where Captain Brass clears a house, until he finds a body then he stops clearing the house makes you scream “NOOOOO!”
    396. If you ever looked a specific gun in your collection, had a moment on weakness and thought about selling it, only to change your mind when you realized how many accessories for it you had.
    397. You want one of the new Swiss Mini Guns, only because it makes the ATF nervous!!!

    398. If you and you best friend on a Saturday travel around to all the Wal-Marts in your state and the state next to you buying up all the clearance Federal Premium , Winchester, and Remington ammo.
    399. If when going back to college for the new term you buy more Glock magazines before textbooks
    400. If when splitting a storage locker with fellow college gun nuts, there’s no discussion as to the 4-digit password (hint: starts with 19, and ends in two ones)
  5. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    401. If you spend an hour detail cleaning your Glock, but haven't washed or waxed your car in a year.
    402. If when taking ballroom dance classes, you wonder "will this move print my gun or allow my partner to feel/see it?"
    403. If you’ve ever tried to "convert" an anti and succeeded …by taking them shooting.
    404. If you've competed in IPSC/IDPA/USPSA and wished they would have a Zombie stage.
    405. If you've ever bought a Hi-point, Lorcin, Jennings, etc. just so you could take it to an IPSC comp and piss off the gun-snobs.
    406. …And outshoot the gun-snobs with it.
    407. If your kids can shoot the Mozambique drill before they learn where Mozambique IS in geography class.
    408. If you see the post above, and are now disappointed that you haven't learned the Mozambique drill yet.
    409. If after reading about the Mozambique drill you spend 150 rounds trying to become proficient with it.
    410. If you are pleased that you picked up the Mozambique drill quickly after you found out what it was.
    411. If you mention getting porn mag at Wal-Mart and your friends ask "Guns & Ammo or Shotgun News?"
    412. If you can't drag your butt out of bed at 8 or 10 during the week, but on Saturday morning you're up and on GLOCKTALK before 6:30.
    413. If a family member buys you a bottle of Hoppes #9 as a gift, and you use it as cologne.
    414. If you know you picked the right college after you find out they have a school sponsored gun club.
    415. If you've ever decided to go clean the Gun Club's guns with a bunch of the RO's instead of going out on a Saturday night.
    416. ...same as above but with reloading ammo instead of cleaning guns.
    417. If you have 3 children, whose first initials of each name are "N.R.A".
    418. If your daughter gets a scholarship to a college on the rifle (or shotgun) team.
    419. If your son and/or daughter is competing in a college gun match, and you are the only one in the stand with a pair of binoculars so huge, people swear they look like 2 telescopes bolted together.
    420. If you clean out your truck and find 150 rounds of forgotten ammunition you bought 4 months ago because it was on sale.
    421. If your friends don't call shotgun when riding in your car, they call assault rifle
    422. …and you expect them to carry one,
    423. When transporting guns to the range for your gun club's first "big shoot" of the year, you discover that you can fit 17 cased long guns in your car.
    424. …If the amount of ammo in the car weighs more than the car itself..
    425. If you are disappointed that your staple gun doesn’t have a decocker.
    426. If when the judge asks you why you put 35 rounds into the perp you reply "because that’s all I had on me"
    427. If you've done meat-pack tests for any ammo.
    428. If you've ever gone "furry-popping" (aka ranch pest control) from your car.
    429. If you measure distance by yards and comment on whether or not you could make the shot.
    430. ...Then you take out your laser range finder, because you HAVE TO KNOW the exact distance.
    431. Homecoming weekend you don't partake of the partying going on Saturday night because you're RO'ing a shoot the next morning.
    432. If you buy the last box of 9mm because it looked "lonely".
    433. If you've put a gun on layaway just because the store wouldn't do a background check in the middle of the night/federal holiday just so they wouldn't sell it out from under you.
    434. If you've used full cans of Shasta Root Beer as clays.
    435. If you have shot down a tree with repeated .308 fire
    436. If you’re willing to move 2 hours away from everything so you can shoot in your backyard
    437. If you have the corners of more than 10 pages turned down in the MidwayUSA catalog.
    438. ...and 10 pages "book marked" on your computer
    439. If you're wearing the same flannel shirt as the guy on front of the reloading catalogue.
    440. If you've ever barked 'Schnell!' or 'Achtung!' while plinking with a Ruger Mk. I.
    441. If your grandmother comes up from Georgia to see your brother and your football games and you invite her to come out to the range and meet your rangemaster and see your second "residence hall".
    442. If you start buying clothing for cooler weather and your parents ask, "This will work for the range and everything, right?"
    443. If you find out that the reason that your mother never shot a gun because she was afraid of recoil so you offer to bring her to the range one weekend so she can see that there's nothing to be scared of.
    444. If you were the first person in your household to get a FOID card.
    445. If the seat in your car has a permanent imprint from your carry weapon
    446. If you realize today's date is 10/22, and post a GT thread reminding everybody!
    447. If you realize the time is 9:45 and post that too!
    448. If you took your 10/22 out to shoot on 10/22 to celebrate 10/22!
    449. If you get slammed on Glock Talk because you didn’t have 22 – 10 round magazines for your 10/22 shoot
    450. If one of your gun nut buddies makes a custom ring-tone of you shooting Mozambique and sets it you play when you call him.
    451. If you call him while he's in the bank just to mess with him
    452. If there are more guns in your FEMA trailer then people.
    453. If your house/arsenal is included in other peoples SHTF plans.
    454. If you loved the arsenal in "Tremors"...
    455. If you yawned at the Arsenal in "Tremors" because yours was better!
    456. If you own a rifle identical to the one used in Tremors
    457. …Just so you will be prepared if they ever attack
    458. If you've ever been sitting around somewhere talking guns with one of your buddies and no less than 3 of your friends come up and say, "You really remind of that dude from Tremors," or, "You know, in 5 years, I can see you as the dude from Tremors."
    459. …If you and your buddy both took it as a compliment.
    460. You know what "tourist season" is, but you REALLY WANT it to be POLITICIAN SEASON. (With no limits!!!)
    461. If the sound of full auto fire makes you feel warm inside.
    462. ....and also when you smell the fresh smell of gunpowder
    463. ...And you KNOW what weapon/caliber fired it!!!
    464. If your wife asks you what you want for Christmas that's NOT gun related.
    465. …And then shakes her head when you reply "What's that"
    466. If your wife gets you an early present, wraps it and gets mad when you pick it up and ask "Glock 26?"
    467. If you love receiving gifts that require ammo!!!!
    468. If your mother has run out of gift ideas for you and asks if you'd like a gift card or the like for ammo for your .45
    469. If you go online and buy a gun safe big enough to have room for extra guns. Then when you get the safe delivered, you realized that you have already outgrown it.
    470. . ..One week later.
    471. If instead of asking what you want for a gift, they give you gift cards to Gander Mountain.
    472. If you tell your mom that "I just bought another" and she asks "what caliber?"
    473. If your best range buddy moves out of the area and you wonder "how many DIDN'T I get to try?"
    474. If you are asked why you carry a .45, and you respond: Because they don't make a good .50!
    475. If you get excited about finding out they do make a 1911 in .50
    476. …If you begin thinking about how you can get your hands on the newly discovered .50.
    477. …If the $2800 price tag does not deter your desire to get one,
    478. If you have more than 3 weapons your wife/better half, does NOT know about!!!!!
    479. If you are the wife, you know about them, and you take them to the range whenever you get the chance.
    480. If your step father gives you an old .22 pistol and though it's really not worth a whole lot you are still excited and can't wait to shoot it.
    481. If you have NEVER seen your whole collection at once and constantly keep finding guns you don't remember ever seeing before.
    482. …Or you have SEEN your whole collection at once and constantly keep finding guns you do remember seeing before!!!
    483. If you're with friends at a restaurant having a nice meal when a local "Anti" comes up to ask to sign a petition and begins to try to educate your friends about why guns are bad, takes one look at you and says "never mind".
    484. If you see a shotgun with a modified barrel that looks like a blunderbuss and you immediately think of “uses” for it.
    485. If 9 out of 10 of your Christmas presents are 'wrapped' in Cosmoline and the tenth is more Cosmoline...
    486. IF you get mail from a local gun store announcing their new location and special guests. The invitation is marked "limited" invitation and requests an rsvp
    487. If your wife refers to your gun collection as HER retirement fund.
    488. If you have more than 5 firearms on the same time.
    489. If your pants don't fit right without your IWB on.
    490. …If you feel naked without it
    491. …If you have to explain what an IWB is.
    492. If you read about the soda machine gun safe, and now you want one!!
    493. …If you already have a soda machine gun safe!
    494. If you do the chicken dance by your mailbox when your CCW arrives.
    495. If you feel naked when a firearm is not within arms reach.
    496. If your idea of Christmas decorations includes a quad-mount .50 in the front yard.
    497. …Why a quad-.50? 'Cause you couldn't find a 40mm Bofors that you could borrow!
    498. If you can explain to your wife what a Quad-50 and a Bofors is.
    499. If you immediately research Bofors after hearing it shoots.
    500. If you want a Bofors for Christmas after you find out what it is.
  6. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    501. If you have a Christmas list that's all guns and ammo.
    502. If you and the people you know have kept a "You Might Be a gun nut" Thread going for over 4 years.
    503. If you know what "primer foot" is.
    504. If you talk to a friend around this time of year (Christmas time) and they ask what you are doing you reply "a little trimming." They think you mean the Christmas tree BUT your gun nut buddy would reply “OH? What caliber?”
    505. If your niece found the online Oleg Volk picture of the little girl with a pink AR-15 and asks you for one for Christmas
    506. …If she asks you because she knows you’re her gun totin’ uncle.
    507. If you give your buddy 3 high cap mags for Christmas and he gives you a box of Winchester Silvertips for one of your carry guns.
    508. If you convert your TV stand into a cleaning bench. Who needs TV anyway?
    509. If they don't make a gun safe for the exact amount of guns you have so you buy the next one up thinking "I can fill that up eventually".
    510. If you think that just about 130 more threads and you can make a "gun-nut-a-day" calendar for the next 2 years.
    511. If when you go to the range everybody asks "can I try it"
    512. If you read every post on this topic and get all warm and fuzzy that there's a lot of people out there just like me.
    513. If you see a hole in your target that ain't yours and wish it was.
    514. If you can't decide which gun to hunt with, so you bring 3 because 5 might be overkill
    515. If you are worried that "if I'm armed this well, other people can be too" and later try to think of a way to help arm the LEO's better.
    516. If your wife/girlfriend automatically holds your non-dominant hand while shopping at the mall, so you can get to your gun faster.
    517. If you've ever had someone say "D%#N" after showing them your ammunition stash.
    518. If you’ve ever had someone Holy Sh&% after seeing your gun collection.
    519. ...And it’s the curator of a gun museum!
    520. If your watch and ring are NOT the most expensive metal objects in your possession.
    521. If you've ever rewound the movie "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" to watch the Glock 18 action again, and not to watch Angelina Jolie's figure.
    522. If you can name every single gun in Mr. and Ms. Smith at first glance, and still enjoy Angelina Jolie
    523. If you've ever made a comment during a movie's firefight like, "well, that gun is only an 8+1, so you know this is totally fake."
    524. If someone uses the word "bug" you immediately start looking at everybody's ankles.
    525. If all of your favorite stores are "Surefire-authorized Dealers."
    526. If you carry more rounds of ammunition than there are days in the month.
    527. If you don't like nachos, but you've had them once at Wal-Mart anyways, "for tradition's sake."
    528. If you can't wait for a SHTF occasion, and double dog dare any zombies to come to your house
    529. If you get physically ill when you read the letters ATF
    530. If you have ever kissed or hugged your gun
    531. If you have pictures of your cats with your guns
    532. If you really want to/have take[n] pictures of your dogs next to your guns
    533. If you cringe when you see a character in a movie point a Glock and hear the sound of a revolver hammer cocking on the soundtrack.
    534. If you feel the intense need to show off your arsenal at every possible moment
    535. If you have a special online photo album just for your favorite gun pics
    536. If when your wife asks what you are doing online you show here the “Gun Nut” thread and she chuckles because she knows its true now, or will be soon
    537. If when you come home with a new gun wife asks "so how much is the next one gonna cost".
    538. If when an anti-gunner tries to get you on their side by saying "guns kill people" you reply "I hope so, that's after what I paid, it better"
    539. If when cleaning your guns after the range you think "that's it?"
    540. If you spend endless hours researching how to make you gun "just a little better"
    541. If someone says something about being scared that your GLOCK has no manual safety, and you take 10 minutes t explain exactly how the GLOCK Safe Action System works.
    542. …At your family's Christmas dinner!
    543. If you wonder how various substances, liquids, vegetables would react when fired with all of your cartridges, singly or simultaneously
    544. If when watching shoot-em-up movies you get irritated at the amount of ammunition that can't possibly be flying and look at your own ammunition stash to see if you could show what it would actually take to do it
    545. If a friend gets locked out of their house and ask if you have a key, you bring a .44mag.
    546. If when your local range is shut down for "Law Enforcement Officer Training" they let you in to show what they could come up against, "however unlikely"
    547. If when watching television shows where guns are intentionally damaged to prove a point you want to give it a proper burial.
    548. If you buy a new gun planning to sell an old one to pay for it, but "never get that far"
    549. If you're not quite sure why the cadence "this is my weapon, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for fun" is so funny – until you get to boot camp.
    550. If you try to involve guns in everything you do, such as fixing things, cooking, etc.
    551. If it doesn't matter why anti-gunners don't understand because you're right anyways.
    552. If when you make a large ammo purchase of 1000 rnds or more, you get to your car and think, maybe just a few more boxes.
    553. If you've ever brought in a bare AR-15 receiver and the engineering drawing for said receiver into class for an. example of the forging process (Design for manufacturing)
    554. If you were one of 3 people in said class to ID the receiver as soon as the prof walked into the room.
    555. If you've ever asked the Prof if the field trip for the class was going to be to the Colt factory.
    556. If you've ever tried to use guns as a way to sidetrack the Prof for 10 minutes or so.
    557. If read the entire thread in one sitting, with a loaded AK-47 at your side.
    558. If a trip through Cabalas used rifle section turned into a dissertation on WW2 rifles for your travel buddy.
    559. If you have ever ruined a good dinner conversation when the word gun was mentioned, and you took it way too far.
    560. If you've ever gotten part time work at the local gun-shop because you spend so much time there.
    561. If you have wanted to shoot a watermelon with a 4bore.
    562. If you ever wondered how you could get a hold of an XM109 and just how much ammo would cost.
    563. If you had to tell a LEO claiming to own Class 3 equipment that everything he just claimed to posses did not qualify.
    564. If you spend over 2 hours with a friend talking about just how fast the Ruger .204 moves.
    565. If you wish you could mount a 30mm Avenger cannon to your Volvo.
    566. If you have consider selling your car for gun money.
    567. If you had to choose between a wife and your guns.
    568. …And decided she never really stood a chance.
    569. If you have ever thought out what it would take to mount a machine gun to your car.
    570. If your friends just assume that you have gotten one of the first conceal carry permits in the state
    571. …If your friends are right!
    572. If your wife looks at you and asks "okay, where did you conceal your gun today?"
    573. …And you enjoy letting her "find it”.
    574. If while rummaging around your ammo, you find 50 rounds for caliber of gun you no longer have or ever had and immediately start planning to find one.
    575. If you clean up your room for the first time in a year and find SKS 30 round mags, a 75 round AK drum, boxes of various ammo, long lost holsters, and your silhouette target that you used to qualify at your CCW class.
    576. If you own a copy of "The Zombie Survival Guide (Complete Protection from the Living Dead)."
    577. …If you critiqued the weapon recommendations in the above book.
    578. if when someone says they read a magazine you wonder for what, and what capacity and why they were reading it
    579. If you plan on spending a large portion of your tax refund on ammunition, and reloading equipment, and a safe.
    580. If you keep a gun mounted to the underside of your toilet tank cover just in case you need something to do while leaving a big one.
    581. If you correct people on gun message boards when they say "clip" instead of "Magazine".
    582. If your one of the people that helps to put on the ROTC shoots at you're school
    583. . . . And you're not ROTC.
    584. If you get banned from helping at ROTC shoots because you outshoot all the competitors.
    585. If every time you hear a car back fire, you try to guess what caliber it could be.
    586. If you hear on TV one person ask another, "Are you packing?" You quickly look up to see if you can get a glimpse of their carry rig, but, sadly, you see a suitcase on the screen and they were talking about packing for a trip.
    587. If the new nurses on your unit approach and tell you about the "citizen" in the trauma bay that shot his *ahem* nether regions, and you turn it into a discussion about "appendix vs. SOB" carry and "Mexican vs. holstered" and conclude the discussion with the importance of the "4 rules".
    588. If you think there is just something satisfying about the sound of a pump shotgun being racked-as long as you're not on the wrong side of the barrel.
    589. If you have ever said “a bad day shooting beats a good day working every time”.
    590. If you have ever gone over to a buddies house to help him clean guns, but your real reason is because he has a few that you want drool over.
    591. If you collected cartridges instead of baseball cards (or both) as a kid.
    592. ...If your friend’s fathers would come to your house just to see your cartridge collection.
    593. If you can't wait for your kid to get older so you can buy "him" a new gun.
    594. If you spend more time selecting ammo than you do grocery shopping.
    595. If your tax refund just came back and your wife says "only one this time".
    596. If you practice shooting with both hands, just in case you come across a really nice lefty (or righty for about 12% of the population).
    597. If you buy a gun you didn't really plan on just because "I like the way it fits my hand".
    598. If a 9mm vs. .40 argument has ever gone to a .44mag vs. .500mag argument.
    599. If you ever ran short on cash and had to decide between ammo and food, and you figure you'd rather be hungry in a gunfight than full and full of holes.
    600. If you've ever had a girlfriend say "It’s me or the guns" and reward the guns with a good cleaning and fresh ammo.
  7. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    601. If you have to bite your tongue when someone asks for a "paper clip" so you don't end up saying "no it's a magazine"
    602. If you memorized all the reciprocity agreements between all the states.
    603. If you know the "no-carry zones" of states you've never been to.
    604. If you know which permits will get you the most states.
    605. If you plan your vacations around states where your permit isn't honored.
    606. If you don't plan a vacation without mentioning it here and setting aside range time with a fellow member.
    607. If you stop your English teacher in the middle of a true crime novel to explain and illustrate to the class on the chalkboard the true meaning of point blank range.
    608. If everyday you wear $1000 worth of SD gear versus your $30 outfit.
    609. If it takes 4 minutes to load up when you put your pants on.
    610. If you don't have any actual real friends because all your socializing is done on GT.
    611. If words like "tacticool", "mall ninja", "asshat", "sheeple", and "soccer mom" are used in everyday language.
    612. If when someone refers to "bling, bling" you picture a nickel plated 1911 in 38 Super.
    613. If when you see someone at Wal-Mart getting nachos you think, "Hmm, must be a newbie popping his cherry."
    614. If you are still in search for that elusive good deal on a NIB Glock 7.
    615. If you know that FBI cant IS NOT about something the FBI is unable to do.
    616. If you know that a 25 cent trigger job IS NOT a hit man that works super cheap.
    617. You do a Google search on a gun topic and the Google hits are your own posts on Glock talk.
    618. If you know the difference between .223 and 5.56.
    619. If you know the difference between M193 and M855.
    620. If you know what M193, M885, M882, MK262, and MK262 MOD 1 are.
    621. If you take your brother to a range, and then get a call from your mom the next day and the first thing she says is, "I'm blaming you!"
    622. If everyone in your house is assigned a gun (or guns) to carry to safety in case of a fire.
    623. …When you run a family fire drill, you count the weapons first, then the family members!!!
    624. …you know which family members are missing based on what weapons are not there. As in: Oh god where is M-1 carbine (wife).
    625. If during a tornado warning you grab your AR15 and a couple of mags before heading for the basement in case there is wide spread damage and anarchy ensues.
    626. If you keep a SHTF stash in the basement.
    627. …You keep a SHTF stash in the basement, in your car, and at several "Bug Out" locations.
    628. If you have spare ammo for your "spare" ammo
    629. If you own over 50 Gun Reference books INCLUDING Jane's and have every edition of "Small Arms of the World".
    630. …and the local Law Enforcement has asked you to research something for them!
    631. If the TSA stops you because your clothes are so saturated with Gunpowder residue that the sniffer picks it up.
    632. If you bought the book Secrets of the Ninja and almost killed your classmates.
    633. If you engrave the bottom of your CCW magazines with the days of the week and rotate them appropriately.
    634. If you go and test drive the all new Tundra when you own a 2006 Tundra and the most amazing upgrade to you is the spot in the center console that is the perfect width and height for a Glock 17 and that fact alone is enough to justify $40k for a pickup truck.
    635. If your gun collection costs more then your house.
    636. If your ammo supply costs more then your house.
    637. If you spend a month (or more) to find the "right holster" for your new pistol.
    638. If you spend more on holsters every month than your rent.
    639. If you hear the word "Rack" and start making plans to have at least one gun rack in every room of the house.
    640. if when you talk about your guns, you call them by name, and people think you're talking about your wife or girlfriend.(guilty)
    641. If when your magazine runs dry at the range, rather than swap mags, you swap guns.
    642. If you spend most of your free time plotting on improving guns you have.
    643. If you spend some of the remaining free time plotting on improving guns you'd like to have.
    644. If when Mythbusters destroy guns you cringe (e.g. banana peel shotgun, 9mm into .38chamber).
    645. If when you see a gun hanging on a wall mount you ask if the owner if they've ever shot it.
    646. If when someone sees you have a gun on a wall mount they say "its loaded isn't it?"
    647. If when police ask if you have anything in the vehicle they should know about, well, you know the rest.
    648. If when watching “COPS”, your friends hear "need backup" and wait for you to enter the picture.
    649. If you're on a first name basis with someone at least one gun manufacturer.
    650. If you're on a first name basis with the manager, or at least dealer at a local gun shop (required, IMHO).
    651. If when you think "why are gas prices going up and gun prices going down?" you instantly slap yourself in the head and say, boy I am glad gun prices are coming down, now if ammo would do the same..
    652. If when you see a holstered 1911 you can't help but undress it with your eyes.
    653. If you turn down "free beer, or, in a worst case scenario, sex" because the range closes in an hour, and you have a new gun to play with.
    654. If a friend sends you the short video of the kid with multiple weapons concealed on him and asks if you supplied the arsenal that they used.
    655. …If you see the video and think: Is that an 870 or are you happy to see me?
    656. If you friends (or kids) look at that video and say "couldn’t be your stuff, you don't own 3 cheap Davis .25's, derringers, or a Cobray M11. But wonder if you loaned them the 870 and .357 magnum revolver for the video?"
    657. …if you have tried, and succeeded in concealing more firearms on your person than that kid in the video, but still give him points ‘cause he’s just a young’un...
    658. If you take out more of your own weapons and conceal all of them better than the kid in the video...
    659. If you watch the episode of “Myth Busters” where they fire the guns underwater and want to throw up or cry when you see the double barrel shotgun that exploded in half.
    660. If you quit smoking to get that pistol/holster/ammo you want, cause
    now it's free. Then start back next day.
    661. If someone says that they have too many guns, and you try to have them declared a "bad parent", so you can "adopt" their guns.
    662. If you have ever purchased a gun simply because you liked how it looked in a movie!
    663. If your spare magazine carrier is a 10 magazine shoulder holster.
    664. If you make plans more than a year in advance so you will be able to attend all the gun shows within a 200 mile radius.
    665. If the wife makes you leave all credit cards and the checkbook at home when you go to a gun show.
    666. …If you make a CASH withdrawal the day before the gun show
    667. If your route to and from said gun shows includes a detour to a local range to test out any possible new toys.
    668. If the weapon checkers at the door almost always ask "What is that?" and "Where did you get one of those?"
    669. ...And, "How much you want for it?"
    670. If you call home while at a gun show-just as you're leaving to see if she needs anything on your way home and the VERY first words out of her mouth - even before "Hi" are "I don't care what it is, how cool it is or how much of a bargain it is, you can't get it"
    671. ...All the while the "new toy" is riding in the trunk
    672. You here the song "This ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" on the radio and it reminds you to get moving on your AR build.
    673. If the gun store calls you to let you know about something they have in stock (that you didn't ask for)
    674. If an employee of the gun shop, while showing you his personally owned weapon, can't find the serial number, and asks you where it is (and you know)
    675. If you CANNOT leave a gunshop/gunshow without buying SOMETHING.
    676. …If you know that Trinkets, Jewelry and Jerky don't count!
    677. If you’re perusing a local gun shop and hear the owner say “See that guy over there? He can tell you everything you ever want to know about this gun”
    678. … If you get a 10% discount on your purchase and 6 months added to your range membership because you just helped sell a $3500 rifle.
    679. If your brother is writing a paper for a poli-sci class and calls to ask for how to spell Molon Labe.
    680. …If your brother quotes your gun control stance in that section of his paper, "I have a firm grasp on gun control . . . I hit my targets."
    681. …If his professor goes into a seizure when he reads it.
    682. If you are willing to bring liberal professors to the shooting range, if only to watch their amazement that they can see more than one gun in plain sight, and nobody gets killed, raped, or robbed
    683. If your house catches on fire and the firefighters cannot go near it for all the ammo exploding.
    684. If you sit on the porch loading 30 round AK mags the day that the AWB ended.
    685. If you have ever written a detailed Warning Order for a road trip.
    686. If your idea of the ultimate belt buckle has a full reload for your wheel gun.
    687. You know you're a female gun nut run into more folks you know when gun shopping then when shoe shopping...
    688. If you suspect that there is a secret spouses forum on Glock Talk where they plot against us.
    689. If replies to a gun nut thread make you suspicious that other gun nuts are spying on you
    690. …only to realize that they are just describing themselves.
    691. If while cleaning out your wallet, you find more receipts for recent gun purchases than from the local convenience store.
    692. If your favorite gun dealer has a section of weapons marked off, "Reserved" with your name on it
    693. If your dealer hands you a 4473 as you walk in the door of your fav gun shop, and says, "You usual sir?"
    694. If you know what a “4473” is.
    695. If you plan on buying a new gun because nothing you own matches your new outfit (lady gun nuts).
    696. If you begin to think about what sort of carry etiquette there should be:
    a. Should the carry gun match the tie? Purse? Shoes? Or should it compliment?
    b. What Glock for what occasion?
    c. Should there be anything about seasons? ("I can't believe that Ted was packing a 2" snubby AFTER Labor Day")
    d. And what is the best carry for a Tux? (This one is a no-brainer: Walther PPK.)
    -Also acceptable is anything with Pearl or Ivory grips. (Imitation pearl or Ivory
    IS acceptable.)
    697. If you think that LaserGrips make any gun look good.
    698. If you up late at night just to read this ENTIRE thread!!!
    699. If a new co-worker comes up and says: "I'm thinking of getting a pistol to use for concealed carry. Everyone said I should talk to you about what would be good to carry."
    700. If your job doesn't allow you to carry and your co-workers are surprised that you follow the policy: "You’re not packing??? Really???"
  8. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    701. If your office co-workers all assume every package you get in the mail is either ammo or gun parts
    702. If your office manager comes to you to handle a weapons related issue at work
    703. If you buy a gun simply because "It was such a great price"!
    704. If you base your daily wardrobe on the weapon you want to carry that day
    705. If you regard cleaning a gun as a holy ritual
    706. If upon cleaning a gun you can't wait to get it dirty again!
    707. If your local UPS guy wants to know when you're getting your next big ammo shipment(s) in, so he can call in sick that day.
    708. …Or schedule his hernia operation.
    709. …Or to have the fork lift ready to drop off your order.
    710. If DOT stopped the UPS truck on the way to your house with ammo and fined him for no explosive or lead hazard placards.
    711. If you’re working on a 1911 and you find enough spare parts to build another 1911.
    712. If your doctor recommends monthly tests for high lead levels.
    713. …If the levels scare your doctor.
    714. …And you still feel great!
    715. If you double-tap every time you use a spray bottle.
    716. If you respond to the "You Might Be a Gun Nut If...” thread even if only to keep it on page one.
    717. If you're with friends at the range and offer a good buddies brother a Glock 36 to shoot because you know he's never shot one before and his reply to your offer is: "Damn, what don't you have?!!!!"
    718. If you bring enough guns to a shoot with buddies that all 7 lanes on the range are shooting your guns.
    719. …And supplied the ammo for each weapon.
    720. If you sold your kidney to buy more guns and ammo.
    721. If you tried to talk your wife/girlfriend into selling hers to buy more guns and ammo.
    722. If “Cheaper Than Dirt” automatically sends you ammo every month.
    723. If local, county and state police have your home and cell number on speed dial for the major SHTF situation.
    724. If the fire department has your house preplanned in case of a fire.
    725. If your insurance company dropped you because of all the ammo stored in the house.
    726. If you had to crawl under the house and put in more supports under the walk in closet because the ammo makes the floor sage.
    727. If you begin to look for weapon and magazine hiding places on your new vehicle.
    728. If you buy a particular car/truck just because of the "hiding places" for weapons & extra magazines.
    729. If a friend boasts about his personal arsenal of 10 guns and you can't remember when you had “only" 10 guns.
    730. …If your friend refuses to believe the actual number of guns you have.
    731. …If he looks totally defeated when you show him. Not to mention in total awe.
    732. …If he says he now has a purpose in life-to catch up with you and your collection.
    733. If your friend looks at a particular gun and says "I didn't know they actually made a gun like that.
    734. If your idea of celebrating international relations is going to the range with as many guns from as many different countries as possible.
    735. If your first thought after spending 4 hours reloading is "You know, now is a good time to go do some shooting"
    736. If you think the circle of life is: Shooting - pick up the empty cases - clean the cases - reloading - shooting - pick up the empties - clean - reload - shoot - pick up - clean - reload - shoot...and so on. The circle continues.
    737. If given a choice of shooting or free beer, you choose shooting.
    738. If the public safety officer on campus doesn't recognize your name or your face, but he does remember you when you said, "I showed you “X” gun."
    739. …If the same public safety officer comes to you for advice on a handgun he wants to buy.
    740. If you hear some one say: “Money can’t buy happiness”, you reply “You never spent money on a machine gun have you?”
    741. …If you know for a fact that Happiness REALLY IS a Belt-Fed Weapon.
    742. If your friends ask you "How many guns do you have?" You reply "Most of them."
    743. If you use the buddy system at gun shows to help carry all the stuff you buy back to the truck.
    744. If you and your buddy have to recruit someone else to help you carry all the stuff you both bought at said gun show.
    745. If the gun shows started to transfer to your front yard.
    746. If more than one other person’s SHTF plan has to be changed because you go on vacation.
    747. If you've hijacked (or helped hijack) so many threads on a car forum that you frequent that they create a "Firearms and related topics" sub-forum.
    748. …If you read that and think: I like the way he thinks
    749. Attending a gun show feels like going to church.
    750. You reschedule work to make sure you don't miss a gun show.
    751. You memorize the gun show schedules in your area 12 months out.
    752. You organize group trips to gun shows.
    753. If you see the “ First Time Carry Wally-World Tactical Map” and just have to go try it. Thanks to Glock Talk’s Armed Infidel.
    754. The local freight company calls you and says “Can you pick up your shipment of 50,000 rounds of small arms ammunition? It’s making us nervous!"
    755. If when booking a cruise, your travel agent highlights, underlines and reads aloud the cruise line's no firearms policy.
    756. If the cruise director meets you at the ship and reminds you of the policy.
    757. If when you're settled in, your wife asks "So, what did you bring and where is it?"
    758. If you went to the VCDL Bloomberg Gun giveaway, won the first prize, and then made an obscene gesture when reporters asked what message you wanted to send to Bloomberg.
    759. If someone puts on an 80's themed party and you think of what firearm would best compliment the theme.
    760. If your gunsmith calls you to find out how to fix a gun.
    761. ...And you pull out said weapon and proceed to tell him exactly how to do it-while on the phone.
    762. If you wake up to find the Brady Campaign protesting on your front lawn.
    763. If your gunsmith accidentally installed the wrong height night sight on your Glock, you simply bought another Glock in the interim until he replaced it with the right one.
    764. If you have dreams about running out of ammo, or all of the sudden your gun is in pieces and you can't put it back together, especially if the dream is disturbing enough to wake you up. The only thing that comforts you is finding your Glock safe and sound under your pillow.
    765. If you know how to Bump-Fire your Glock.
    766. If you saw the words, ”Date your Glock" on a website and before figuring out it was about when your gun was born, You took your Glock on an actual "Date" to visit the gunsmith for goodies.
    767. …If you ended the "Date" with the words, “I love you”, and a kiss goodnight.
    768. If you get a small “Glock” tattooed on your arm.
    769. …If you get an even larger Glock tattoo on you back.
    770. …And you are truly a hard core gun nut in you have a Glock tattoo on your….!!!!!
    771. If you applied a matte finish to the hood of your vehicle so that the scratches from ejected brass wouldn’t look so obvious.
    772. IF you just today found 4mm Flobert (pronounced; flo-bear) ammo, paid five dollars per round, and can't wait to find the gun that fires it.
    773. …If you then can't wait to take on big game such as mice and house flies.
    774. If you purchase a Leopold Vari-X III scope but have no rifle to put it on yet.
    775. …If you still haven’t figured out what rifle you want to put it on yet.
    776. If when in Iraq your unit had a "melting pit" for captured enemy weapons and it gave you P.T.S.D.
    777. If you dug thru the pit and made some of them functional again.
    778. If you just built your own BUMPSTICK, and not only did it work but your g-26 is still cozy warm as you post this.
    779. If you plan on making a concealed carry rig for your bump stick.
    780. If your neighbors hate you for having a bump stick.
    781. If you know what a bump stick is.
    782. If you tell everybody on this thread to do a search on Glock talk on "bump firing" and find the thread entitled "Glock 19 emptied in 3 seconds."
    783. If your family thinks: "The Gods/Your Shooting Buddies Must Be Crazy" for teaching you about the bump stick.
    784. If you just made one today and already you've had to redo your monthly budget to accommodate this sort of thing.
    785. If you already had a shootin' buddy over with his model 19 and were more than happy to keep feeding him 33 rounders.
    786. If you just turned all of your fellow townsfolk into bump stick believers, and were surprised that nearly all of them owned Glocks
    787. If you apologize for trying to hi-jack this thread with tales of the bump stick...
    788. …If you can make 10 submissions on the mysterious “Bump stick”.
    789. …If you suddenly find yourself obsessed by the illustrious and exotic bump stick.
    790. If you can make Navy HMC ask "What the hell is a "Bump Stick???"
    791. If suddenly start to think of ways to make a Bump Stick for your Bang Stick (Bang Stick=Scuba Diving Shark Stick).
    792. If after evaluating your ammo stock, you "settle" for your 1911 in .45 ACP.
    793. …And upon shooting it, the range officer complements your "comfort" with the gun!
    794. If you can't wait for the “coffee table book" "You Might Be A Gun Nut If" to hit bookstands.
    795. If you are able to carry on a gun related conversation in a very public place and not have anyone know.
    796. If achieving “Small Nation status in your gun collection is now a long term goal.
    797. …If after taking a good inventory of your collection, it suddenly becomes a short term goal.
    798. If you buy a can of carburetor cleaner, simply because it says: “removes carbon build-up" on the label.
    799. If the USMC would not let you bring home your carry piece no matter how hard you begged.
    800. If a friend shows you a film of hot girls shooting automatic weapons and you think: "Man, she has absolutely the worst muzzle control I have ever seen."
  9. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    801. …"She swept everyone three times now."
    802. …"I will never go shooting with her, she still has her finger on the trigger even though the gun is pointed behind her."
    803. ...You get frustrated when you are trying to see which model of weapon she is firing, but she won't stand still long enough.
    804. If after getting a dishonorable discharge for mailing home an M-16, you ask the AG if you get to keep it.
    805. You might be a gun nut’re nuts about guns.
    806. If you think there should be some sort of support group for gun nuts. Not to help them quit, but to help them be more accurate, faster, better, get a bigger collection, etc.
    807. If you see a modern sculpture made of gun parts and you become visibly shaken and sick.
    808. …If you wish ill on the sculptor.
    809. …If you compensate by thinking: Maybe the sculptor shot the guns out and was trying to find a good use for the remnants.”
    810. If you select Coors Light when you buy beer simply because it has the words “Silver Bullet" on the can.
    811. If you've ever used Cosmoline as Deodorant.
    812. If you think that cosmoline is Italian for “You’ll never get this crap out of your gun!”
    813. If you buy a Tactical Grilling Apron in a camouflage pattern.
    814. If you can't remember your anniversary but can remember your load data including velocities out of three different rifles that you haven't used for 10 years.
    815. If you can remember the dates of your upcoming shooting matches for the next 6 months but not your dental appointment that you made 5 days ago.
    816. If the only reason you remember your anniversary is that your wife promised you a new gun since it's your 10th.
    817. If you celebrate your 50th gun in the collection by looking for a gold plated one.
    818. If your granddaughter makes you a birthday cake and puts the entire second amendment on top of it.
    819. …If you see a picture of the cake and you want one just like it.
    820. …If you take the picture to your local bakery and ask: Can you make this?”
    821. …If you order it 11 months in advance to make sure you have it for your birthday.
    822. If you add a spade handle to your AK and say it’s a garden tool.
    823. If you're itching to get a new gun and have to look at not only your collection but the inventory to see what you don't have yet.
    824. …If you're going to get a new gun and DON'T have to look at what you already have because you have whole list memorized.
    825. …If you don’t need to think about it because you have a “Gun I must have” list.
    826. …If you keep your "Guns I must have" list in your wallet.
    827. If you walk to work for a month so you can use your gas money on a new gun.
    828. If you invent a word to describe yourself as a gun nut: "Gun nuttyness": "Yeah, I could tell he had a lot of gun nuttyness about him from 100 yards away. or He takes gun nuttyness to a whole new level."
    829. …Pistolosis- Collects Pistols only
    830. …Rifleosis_ Collects rifles only
    831. …Guntosis- If it uses ammo, it is in the collection!!!
    832. If you are such a big gun nut that you can spot a fellow gun nut from 100 yards.
    833. If folks who meet you for the first time have no doubt you are a gun nut.
    834. If all you think about while shooting fireworks is if you can get in some target practice undetected in town.
    835. …During the 4th of July all you thought about was firing off Tracer rounds
    836. If you travel two and a half hours to meet with someone for 10 minutes just to buy a new gun.
    837. …If you feel that the trip was worth it.
    838. …If you end up spending another 30 minutes just BS'ing about guns.
    839. …If you can't wait to get home and break in your new baby.
    840. …If you almost get a ticket because you're speeding so you can get to your favorite range before it closes.
    841. If while traveling in a southern state, you see a car with a "GT" emblem (for Georgia Tech) and immediately think, "Hey, another guy from Glock Talk
    842. If you have a .50 BMG as a novelty roller for you toilet paper dispenser.
    843. …If you think this is an obscene use for a poor .50 cal round.
    844. While using the bathroom after an after-match dinner stop, you hear from your buddy in the next stall "Shooter ready . . . standby"
    845. If you have ever started cleaning one of your guns if front of your mother in law in hopes of cutting her visit short.
    846. If your mother in law freaks when she is scolding you about your firearms and her 4 year old grandson says "But Nana, I always hit the target and I follow the 4 rules" And then proceeds to tell Nana the basic four rules of firearm safety and then starts singing the Eddie the Eagle song.
    847. If you've ever asked to be paid in ammo so that you wouldn't be tempted to spend the money on bills.
    848. If you start shooting IDPA and your wife asks "Do you have any hobbies that AREN"T gun related"
    849. …If you have ask yourself "Well, is there such a thing as a non-gun hobby?"
    850. …If you decided that no, there are no non-gun hobbies. There is only gun collecting, shooting, shooting competitions, gun cleaning and reloading. What else is there?
    851. You go out and buy the movie Heat just because someone showed you the firefight scene on youtube.
    852. …You realize after buying Heat that you own half of your movies because of cool firefight/gun fight scene (Tombstone, Tears of the Sun, etc., etc.)
    853. …You've used these one of these movies to drown out the nagging fiancée of a roommate (500 watts + AK and M4 Chatter can really drown out someone).
    854. If while on your way to the shooting range, you are listening to a radio talk show about guns, and call in to question the guest's use of the term "assault weapon," sparking a discussion that you then read about in more than one gun-related newsletter.
    855. If your first days at school find you enjoying numerous gun filled events:
    856. …You find it hilarious that the Gun Club ends up right behind the Model UN at the school activities fair.
    857. …Other clubs don't like being next to the gun club because we crowd them (140 new people signing up in 2 hours!). I guess it is true what I was told by an alumni . . . guns draw engineering students like a fire draws moths.
    858. …You call public safety to let you into your room, and end up having a 30 minute conversation with the officer and your roommate about Class III firearms, gun laws, carry laws, ballistics, etc.
    859. …The officer says that it seems like you know the gun laws better than the local authorities/BATFE.
    860. …The highlight of coming back to school involved the packages you have waiting for you in the mail room from Midway USA and The Wilderness and a trip with fellow gun club folk up to a gun show.
    861. …You try to pitch a firearm project to the professor in charge of senior design projects.
    862. …You try to push a floor shooting event for a hall education event.
    863. The top 10 safety gun tips
    10. Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction-such as a liberal or a democrat.
    9. Dumb children may get a hold of your guns and shoot each other. If your children are dumb, put them up for adoption to protect your guns.
    8. No matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey.
    7. If guns make you nervous, drink a bottle of whiskey before you head to the range to calm your nerves.
    6. When unholstering your weapon, it's customary to say "Excuse me while I whips this out!"
    5. Don't load your gun unless you're getting ready to shoot something or are just generally feeling angry.
    4. If your gun misfires, never look down the barrel. Have someone else do that for you.
    3. Never use your gun to pistol whip someone-that will mar the finish.
    2. No matter how excited you are about purchasing your first gun, do NOT run around yelling I've got a gun!!! I've got a gun!!!"

    And the number one gun safety rule:
    1. Don't piss me off.
    864. If you no longer have luggage . . . just various sized range bags that can double as luggage.
    865. If you see a statistic that says in Montana 90% of the households have guns and the average gun household has 27 and it makes you wish you lived in Montana.
    866. …If you think about it and realize that if you moved to Montana you would help increase that average.
    867. …If you can't remember when you had "only" 27 guns.
    868. If you can turn a design class presentation into a firearms education forum.
    869. …If you don't lose credit for going over your time limit.
    870. …If your professor corrects another group on the bullet vs. cartridge issue.
    871. If you have more holsters than pistols.
    872. …because for every pistol you have a shoulder holster, a OWB and a IWB
    873. If you went out and ordered a Nation of Riflemen shirt to wear for Constitution Day.
    874. …No one you knew was surprised by this.
    875. You hear the word "Taliban" and believe it translates in English to the word "target".
    876. If while moving you find numerous guns you didn’t know you had.
    877. If the High School rifle team coach calls you because she wants to take the rifle team skeet shooting as an end of season party, and you are the only person she knows with enough shotguns.
    878. …And plenty of ammo for the tournament.
    879. If the first thing you grab when you wife kicks you out and wants a divorce is your guns, and you go back the next day for your clothes.
    880. If you go through a case of soda a week, so you have something to shoot.
    881. If you ask your commander to count your m249 SAW as a field loss.
    882. If your weekly shooting budget is just under 1/4 your monthly pay.
    883. If you eat once a day, but your gun does twice.
    884. If you spend your free time trying to "invent" a new cartridge.
    885. If when you open a bottle, you used a rimmed cartridge that was in your pocket from your last range trip.
    886. If you have your ammo inventory committed to memory, but don't have any clear idea how many pairs of socks or underwear you actually own.
    887. If you buy your wife/girlfriend/both Chocolate ammo as a gift.
    888. …But only so you have another can to store ammo in.
    889. If one of your local gun shops asks you to come work for them, because you've shown more knowledge than their employees.
    890. …Note: Does not count if gun shop is Cabela's, Gander Mountain, or Bass Pro Shops.
    891. If you have a gun range in your basement and charge admission
    892. If your friend the cop gives YOU his leftover match .308 and you put it with the OTHER match .308 in case you ever buy one.
    893. If you Move 20 Miles closer to The range and 20 miles further from work because work pays for your gas to and from work and you have to pay for it to and from the range that you belong to Because the price of gas has gone up so much you cant afford as much ammo as you used to.
    894. Not only do you own a Gun bible, you have Brownells link on your computer.
    895. If you invent deodorant that you call "Indoor Gun Range".
    896. If your friends or family members have to put the qualifier, "That isn't a gun book or magazine," whenever they ask you if you have a book or magazine they can borrow.
    897. If while your wife was pregnant, you believe that choosing his or hers first gun is more important than choosing a name.
    898. ...If you use your wife's pregnancy as an excuse to buy more ammo.
    899. ...If your nursery has pictures of guns in it anywhere.
    900. ...If you shake tied up .40 brass to get your baby’s attention, instead of keys.
  10. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    901. ...If you believe this is the only justifiable misuse of spent brass.
    902. ...If you asked the clerk at Wal-Mart why none of the baby toys feature guns.
    903. ...If you have your son or daughters first shot's spent brass framed.
    904. If you pull your cell phone out of your pocket, and it has picked up the spent brass that is also in your pocket.
    905. If you sat down and read all 44 pages of “You Might Be A Gun Nut If…” only stopping every half hour to check the tracking # link for your LWD order. To see where your TFO's, Agrip and SS guide rod are.
    906. …If you’re worried they haven't been scanned in 39 hours since leaving Spokane. Hope they are okay.
    907. …If you rationalized your order because you just finished your first AR build and think the Glock is jealous.
    908. …If you sat here reading the thread with your Glock and AR because you don't want to put them away because your other guns might get jealous.
    909. …If you wonder if placing another order before you last order arrives is bad etiquette
    910. …If you order a phantom flash hider for your AR, but Have to make it up buy getting the Glock a LWD 9mm threaded barrel and putting the flashider on first just to see how it looks.
    911. If your family thinks you have issues because of your being a gun nut, but you change your mind after reading all the YMBAGNI posts.
    912. …But then you think: “How could so many people be wrong?”
    913. If you reach for your toothbrush in the morning and you grab your snubbie off the bathroom rack instead.
    914. If you have your tax refund already spent on the next weapon, ammo, mags, holster, etc
    915. If you have a conversation with someone you have known for several months, you realize that you are not only both members of Glocktalk, but have in fact traded instant messages several times.
    916. If you have never sold a gun. Bought many? Yes. Sold one? No.
    917. If you feel that even trading one gun for another is so close to being a traitor to the offended gun that it has to be a really, really, REALLY good trade.
    918. If you have a strange loyalty to your guns.
    919. …If you don't think that type of loyalty is at all strange.
    920. If you don’t think the phrase “”Shoot you an email” is out of line.
    921. You have been "shot" by fellow “Glock-Talker” and did not mind at all!!
    922. If you pull your laundry out of the dryer, you find .22 brass.....
    923. If you watch the third Austin Powers movie, and, when Beyonce is on the screen in the brief, tight costumes she wears, the only thing you think is, "Where's she supposed to be concealing that .38? There's no room in those clothes for it!"
    924. If you're getting ready to move to a new job and you've got to double check and make sure your ammo and reloading supplies won't require you to have HazMat placarding on the Penske truck.
    925. If your high school annual list's you as "most likely to return fire."
    926. If your pets are named Red Dot & Unique.
    927. If you have a round .45 caliber scar on your butt from sitting down with a spent .45 ACP case in your pants.
    928. …If your fellow gun nuts want to see the photo.
    929. If you are still PO'ed at your fellow Glock Talker for posting a "Guns for Sale" thread that turned out to be an April Fools joke.
    930. If your friends call you before they call 911, when they "hear something" outside their home.
    931. …If 911 calls you and asks you to check on a frightened neighbor.
    932. If your friends are very afraid to knock on your door at 4:00 am when you overslept for a fishing trip.
    933. If your smoker/ BBQ grill is in the shape of a .500 S & W Magnum.
    934. …If all your friends are asking to borrow it.
    935. If the ends of the pipes on your Harley look like huge, oversized M-16 flash suppressors.
    936. If you bought a watch because at night it glows the same color as your night sights.
    937. If when asked for ID, you show your concealed carry license instead of your drivers license.
    938. If you practice drawing from your holster while sitting on the toilet with your pants around your ankles.
    939. If you decide to wear a shoulder holster just because it would be easier to draw while sitting on the toilet.
    940. If you buy clothes that make you look fat, even though you’re female, just so you can better conceal your carry piece.
    941. You go to your chief of police to have your form 4 signed and he says, "My SWAT guys wanted some of those, but I wouldn't buy them for em."
    942. If your trigger finger twitches when the villain shows up on screen.
    943. If you tuck your guns to bed in the safe at night.
    944. ...except for your favorite baby that gets to sleep with you.

    And finally: You might NOT be a gun nut if you THINK you have too many guns.......

    So there you have it.
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  11. Joshua1432

    Joshua1432 Yeah Im Only 14

    Oct 8, 2008
    NSW, Australia
    [Size=-1] Double Post [/size]
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  12. Joshua1432

    Joshua1432 Yeah Im Only 14

    Oct 8, 2008
    NSW, Australia
    Hahah They have to be the best ones :supergrin:
  13. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore

    Consider it added...But I hope you have one gun that gets to sleep with you...:supergrin:
  14. Gee navy where in the sam hill did you get all those quips!? :supergrin: :rofl: :cool: :dunno:
  15. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    Glockdude started the thread and when I started reading it, I decided to put them down on a .doc for prosperity and it took off from there. Some are mine, but most come from the 1,150 posts. I just copied them down.

    The submissions started slowing down some after the first 800... :rofl:
  16. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

    May 24, 2000
    ........You read your guns a bed time story before tucking them into bed at night.

  17. Joshua1432

    Joshua1432 Yeah Im Only 14

    Oct 8, 2008
    NSW, Australia
    .. You wake up multiple times during the night to get you guns a glass of grease and check that they are sleeping well.

    - some nights you sleep on the lounge becuase your favorite gun that sleeps with you keeps hogging the blanket

  18. Joshua1432

    Joshua1432 Yeah Im Only 14

    Oct 8, 2008
    NSW, Australia
    - You spend more time with your guns than your kids
  19. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    Surprisingly not on the is now.

    Is this a personal issue Joshua? We're here to help!:supergrin: