A different lighter Side post, but I think it belongs here: The top 10 safety gun tips 10. Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction-such as a liberal or a democrat. 9. Dumb children may get ahold of your guns and shoot each other. If your children are dumb, put them up for aboption to protect your guns. 8. No matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey. 7. If guns make you nervous, drink a bottle of whiskey before you head to the range to calm your nerves. 6. When unholstering your weapon, it's customary to say "Excuse me while I whips this out!" 5. Don't load your gun unless you're getting ready to shoot something or are just generally feeling angry. 4. If your gun misfires, never look down the barrel. Have someone else do that for you. 3. Never use your gun to pistol whip someone-that will mar the finish. 2. No matter how excited you are about purchasing your first gun, do NOT run around yelling I've got a gun!!! I've got a gun!!!" And the number one gun safety rule: 1. Don't piss me off.