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WOO-HOO! Gonna live to load again... well, maybe... kinda.

Discussion in 'Reloading' started by GioaJack, Apr 1, 2011.

  1. GioaJack

    GioaJack Conifer Jack

    Apr 14, 2009
    Conifer, CO
    I awoke from my slumber earlier than normal so as not to be late for my scheduled doctor's appointment. Still laying in bed and not yet finished with my first 'get the blood pumping' cigarette the phone rang. Lo and behold it was my buddy Little Stevie calling to make sure that I was up and hadn't forgotten about my appointment. I should point out that Stevie calls me all the time feigning an interest in some obscure point on loading or why plastic guns are better than steel and wood. During these conversations he never, never fails to slip in a question about how I'm feeling, if things are getting better or worse and if there's anything he can do to make my already fairy tale life better. This is not only the mark of a good friend but more importantly the mark of a good man, and I greatly appreciate it. BUT... the cynical side of me can't help but think that he keeps close tabs on me so the moment the inevitable occurs he can be on the phone with my daughter and son-in-law offering, out of the good graces of his heart, to buy my 1050's for pennies on the dollar. I suspect that a bunch of my 1911's may also enter into the conversation. Now that I think of it I'm going to have to make the determination if he's a good friend or a rat bastard. Pretty much a toss-up.

    I was so excited to actually get out of the house I arrived at my doctor's appointment with bells on... which irritated the rest of the people in the waiting room until I agreed to take them off. Bunch of old fuddy-duddies, I hope their Metamucil quits working.

    Placed in a small, windowless room that was reminiscent of a water-board torture chamber I was shortly joined by an attractive female who I quickly deduced was not my regular doctor. It appears she was called to a different location today so I was relegated to the 'B' team. After the normal checking of temperature, blood pressure, oxygen absorption, turn your head and cough... okay, I made that part up, she consulted her chart and asked me to remove my shoe and sock. Not a good first impression on my part, I couldn't bend far enough to do it. She should have been a shoe salesperson, she was very adept at removing my footwear. The expression on her face was not the most encouraging thing I've ever seen.

    "You have the beginning of gangrene."

    "Yup, figured as much."

    "This is very dangerous, you could end up losing your foot... your leg even."

    "Yup, so I've been told several times. You married?"

    "Why, you looking for a wife?"

    "I'm always on the look out for a future ex-wife."

    "Doctor Burton told me you never take anything serious."

    "I'm perfectly serious... you may end up with a house out of the deal."

    "Lets talk about your foot."

    "You're boring, I've decided I don't want to date you."

    "I'm devastated but I'll try to get over it. How'd you wound your foot like this?"

    Things were going well until I mentioned that I lost most of the use of my foot. That expression came over her face again. She wanted to know when I had first noticed it and I explained a few weeks after I had broken my back. She asked when that had happened to which I replied about six-weeks ago. There was that expression again... I was starting to get annoyed with it.

    She asked if I was using a walker because of my foot or my back. I explained that my foot didn't hurt all that bad, it just didn't work, my back on the other hand hurt worse than winning Power Ball without a prenuptial.

    She asked why I thought I had broken it. I explained that it was the twentieth time and even I only had to pick up a hot horseshoe 4 or 5 times before I realized that it would burn you. THAT DAMN LOOK AGAIN! She left the room to go call a neurologist. (Ya just know that's gonna show up on my bill.)

    She returned a while later and said they were bringing a wheel chair to take me down for x-rays. Told her I didn't need x-rays. The look started to reappear but was cut short by my acquiescence.

    I'm sure it would have been far cheaper to just stand in the middle of Japan for my radioactive exposure but the necessary pictures were taken and I was returned upstairs and placed in the room to wait for further water-boarding. Apparently my waiting period was required for her to hear from the radiologist. She entered the room with THAT LOOK already plastered on her face.

    "Do you know you've broken every vertebrae in your back?"

    "HA! You're wrong, I've only broken one cervical vertebrae. Do I get a discount?'

    "We didn't x-ray that high, so no. How in the world did you do so much damage to your back?"

    "It's called bone cancer... cool ain't it."

    "How can you even walk?"
    "Erect, bipedal, just like all advanced primates.? Finally she laughed... very tough audience.

    "It's obvious that you fractured something but you've got so much damage the radiologist can't tell which is the newest fracture, you may have multiple fractures from this accident. You waited to long to come in to be sure."

    "Didn't need to come in, I knew what happened... and it wasn't an accident."

    Now over the decades I've shot with lots of doctors but I've never sat in a doctor's office and given them what turned out to be a pretty detailed explanation on loading and a highly detailed description of a Star sizer and how pulling out the spring/plunger the wrong way will actually break your back. She asked more questions about loading then most of the newbs around here and actually asked my opinions about terminal ballistics in the human body. Not only was it fun spreading the word about our weird little hobby but I was starting to reconsider dating her. (Might do it just so her and Little Stevie can fight over my equipment. She has better things to offer... I can always go out and earn money. :whistling:)

    After another long conversation with the neurologist, a visit by a nurse from the 'wound care' department to scrub out dead flesh and instructions on how to care for my foot for the next couple of weeks the doctor and I finally got down to brass tacks.

    Turns out the loss of use of my foot is called 'drop foot'. It's normally caused by nerve damage from diabetes and generally does not reverse itself. Okay, my other foot still works and having two of them just seems redundant and silly. The neurologist thinks there's a possibility that the accumulated damage in my back along with the swelling may be causing something to press on a nerve, or series of nerves resulting in the loss of use. I'm scheduled for an MRI and CAT scan next week to see if they can make a better determination. (More bills.)

    Just as with all my ex-wives, the good doctor spent a good deal of time yelling at me. It seems that she's more than mildly upset because I only take about a third of the narcotic pain killers that I've been prescribed. I left with enough narcotics to give Mexican drug cartels a run for their money. Apparently I'm supposed to actually take them Who'da thunk.

    If I take care of my foot, antibiotics and constant cleaning I'll probably be able to keep my foot... whether it works or not.

    So, what have I learned from this foray into the world of medical wizardry? Actually nothing that I hadn't known before but it's something that newbs should take a moment to consider. Loading is more than making cheap, accurate ammunition. It's more than an hour or two escape from the wife/girlfriend or demanding kids... it can be a grasp on continued sanity.

    Maybe I'll regain the use of my foot, maybe I won't and maybe I'll ultimately end up losing it. Okay, not the end of the world. I certainly won't be able to shoot like I once did but the fact remains that I'll be dead for three days and still shoot better than Little Stevie does right now. Even though I can't sit on my loading stool right now my back will eventually heal enough to where I'll be able to and then once again the loading will commence. Sure, I'll have the flat panel on but I'll be watching/listening while doing something productive and which I enjoy. I may not be able to shoot much of it but I'll sure as hell be able to crawl out and watch my SIL and grandson have a good time. The older guys know what that's like... if the younger guys are lucky they'll learn too.

    More than ever I'm glad I have my loading hobby to fall back on, (fall is a bad word) and it's something I'll be able to do until I start haunting this place. Life could be a lot worse. :supergrin:

    (Maybe I should have written this before I took the new drugs. Sorry.)

  2. PCJim

    PCJim Senior Member

    Aug 4, 2008
    A relatively good report, all things considering. Take care of yourself, please? We need you around here.

  3. I just wanna know when yer takin the Doc out to dinner and the range!
  4. Cavalry Doc

    Cavalry Doc MAJ (USA Ret.)

    Feb 22, 2005
    Republic of Texas
    Damn jack, you're a piece of work. Don't worry, I admire that in a fellow.

    All of us get old, every one of us will die at least once. My plan is to do it with style and class. I've already cheated death a few times, so there will come a day where he will settle up, but I'll come to the table with a smirk if at all possible.

    Just one tip though. At almost every funeral I've ever been to, I always hear a couple regrets....

    "If I could only tell them.....
    If I only had one more day with them....."

    Many family members, especially children, will like to pretend that we will last forever. After making them wash the truck and mow the yard, spell out the reality of life, we all go when it is time, and if we are blessed, we go BEFORE our children.

    For me, every day is my "one more day".

    Tell your buddies and loved ones what you need to now. The asteroid might strike tonight and take us all out tonight.

    When I finally get to the realization that "oh crap, this is it", I want to be able to realize that I've said my piece, and am fully ready to face the next adventure, regardless of what it is.

  5. RedHaze

    RedHaze Handgunner

    Aug 23, 2009
    SE WA
    Keeping spirits high can make all the difference. Take care ya ol' fart.
  6. ron59

    ron59 Bustin Caps

    Jan 3, 2009
    Smyrna, GA
    Love your stories.

    You rock.
  7. WiskyT

    WiskyT Malcontent

    Jun 12, 2002
    North Carolina
    What Steve doesn't know is that Jack has bequeethed all his estate to a trust set up for his dog. Well, I guess he knows now.
  8. G36_Me


    Aug 4, 2009
    Thanks! for the update. Much appreciated.
  9. Colorado4Wheel


    Nov 2, 2006
    Well, it's good to hear he finally found a doctor he will listen to. She must be cute/rich. Maybe he will stop hitting on my wife now. BTW, she say Hi as well. You take care of yourself. I hope to see you on Sunday.

    And, Thanks Jack.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2011
  10. It's: Dawg... stop being disrespectful dammit! :supergrin:
  11. IndyGunFreak


    Jan 26, 2001
    Get better Jack!

  12. I only play a doctor on GTR but it sounds like you are going to be AOK. Spirit and a sense of humor can go a long way to keeping body parts partially functioning than modern medicine.

    More details on the hot doc please. Blonde, redhead? Tall, short? Rack? Thx.
  13. Take Care of Yourself Jack
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2011
  14. kshutt


    Aug 24, 2001
    Thanks for the report, Jack. I still pray for you, for what it's worth. You have many friends here.
  15. EL_NinO619

    EL_NinO619 EX-Swage Monkey

    Aug 11, 2010
    San Diego
    Glad to hear Jack. Reloading kept me sane (well thats up for debate) during my 8 months of obamacare (unemployment). So when I hear people debating wheter or not its worth it to reload, I think its just not about saving money and making better ammo, its metting people like you and doing something that some of us truley enjoy and live for. Keep up the fight, but make sure when your ready you pull the red handle and not the blue.
  16. Sounds like you'll be fine either way......nobody I know shoots with their feet anyway.
    I wish you well.
  17. dudel


    Dec 10, 2008
    Texas Hill Country
    Take care of yourself Jack. Wouldn't be the same here without you.
  18. WiskyT

    WiskyT Malcontent

    Jun 12, 2002
    North Carolina
    When you turn them upside down, they're all brunettes.
  19. FLSlim


    Apr 12, 2010
    FL W Coast
    Thanks for the good update. Never give in.
  20. Even us flatlanders recognize courage when we see and hear it.

    Get better. I hope and pray for your early return to the reloading bench.