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Windows 98 SE: Southern Edition

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Rooster Rugburn, Jun 24, 2002.

  1. So you Yankees can laugh with us, not at us.

    Dear Consumers:

    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding its' commands. The Southern Edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: "WINDERS 98" with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen-saver.

    Please also note:

    "The "Recycle Bin" is labeled "Outhouse"

    "My Computer" is called "This Dern Contraption"

    "Dial up Networking" is called "Good Ol' Boys"

    "Control Panel" is known as the "The Dashboard"

    "Hard Drive" is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"

    "Floppies" are "them little ol' plastic disc thangs"

    Instead of an "error message" a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.

    CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:

    OK . . . . . . . . . .ats aw-right

    Cancel . . . . . . .. stop dat

    Reset . . . . . . . . .try er agin

    Yes . . . . . . . . . .yep

    No . . . . . . . . . . nope

    Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it

    Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder

    Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder

    Help . . . . . . . . . . hep me out here

    Stop . . . . . . . . . kwit it

    Start . . . . . . . . . crank 'er up

    Settings . . . . . . . settins

    Programs . . . . . . stuff at duz stuff

    Documents . . . . . stuff ah done did

    Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital
    letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are
    exclusive to "Winders 98":

    Tiperiter . . . . . . . . . a word processing program

    colerin book . . . . . . . a graphics program

    cyferin mersheen . . . . . calculator

    outhouse paper . . . . . . notepad

    iner-net . . . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0

    pichers . . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer

    We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you
    received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it
    to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this helps
    all y'all!

    Sincerely,



    Billy Bob Gates