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Wifeology

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Sep 9, 2004.


  1. okie

    okie
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    GT Mayor

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    64,670
    1,525
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
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    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
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    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
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    I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
    "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her,
    "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."
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    The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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    After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
    "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
    The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
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    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
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    I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
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    My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
    So I got myself two girlfriends.
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    A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided
    not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
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    Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
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    A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
    it cost to get married? "The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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    Young Son! : Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
    Africa a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
    Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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    Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what
    real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
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    A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
    The next day he received a hundred letters. They all
    said the same : "You can have mine."
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    A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
    millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?"
    asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied.
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    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
    Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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    It's not true that married men live longer than single
    men. It only seems longer.
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    Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
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    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
    through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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    A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask
    for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double
    of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay,
    give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."
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    Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
    They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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    The most effective way to remember your wife's
    birthday is to forget it once.
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    First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
    Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive