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Wife Tech Support

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Maelstrom, Dec 13, 2004.

  1. Maelstrom

    Maelstrom MiniCapitalist

    1,034
    0
    Oct 1, 2000
    Pretty cute, sorry about all the > >:

    Dear Tech Support:
    > >
    > >Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
    that
    > >the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
    > >space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
    > >all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.
    Applications
    > >such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and
    Racing
    > >3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
    run
    > >my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
    7.0,
    > >but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
    > >
    > >Thanks,
    > >A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
    > >______________________________________
    > >
    > >REPLY:
    > >Dear Troubled User:
    > >
    > >This is a very common problem that men complain about.
    > >
    > >Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
    > >just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
    > >SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
    > >impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
    > >impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once
    > >installed.
    > >
    > >You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
    > >allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
    > >Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and
    work
    > >on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
    application
    > >"Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
    > >
    > >The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
    > >ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
    > >will return to normal anyway.
    > >
    > >Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
    Wife
    > >1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
    Cook
    > >It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
    > >
    > >However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
    > >cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens,
    the
    > >only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
    > >software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
    > >
    > >WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    > >Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
    > >irreversible damage to the operating system.
    > >
    > >Best of luck,
    > >Tech Support
    >