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Wife kinda/cheated...what should I/we do?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by WEATHERBY460, Oct 19, 2012.

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  1. Hawaiiglock

    Hawaiiglock 58008

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    My 2 cents:

    Even if you decide to stay together and try to work it out you should still see a lawyer. Your going to be in a world of hurt if she suddenly decides that she is over the marriage and starts the process of taking you to the cleaners and possibly trying to gain full custody of your daughter.


    My good friend is going through a hell of a time. He's a good guy who worked long hours to make sure his wife and kids were taken care of. He found out earlier this year that she cheated on him. He stayed and tried to work it out. He thought that things were going well until he came home from work one day and the wife and kids were gone. During the two month period of "reconciliation" while he was at work she had been scheming hard be hind his back. She took all the titles to the vehicles, forged his name, and re-registered them in her name. She took all the money out of the joint accounts, and on top of that continued to see the guy she was side bonking. The icing on the cake was when my friend went to confront her at her mothers house they got into a verbal argument, she head-butted the door frame, called the cops, and had my friend arrested for domestic abuse.

    I got a frantic call last week from my friend, he had a verbal agreement form his wife that he could take the kids from Thursday to Monday. On Saturday night she called the police and told them that he "kidnapped" his kids. The cops came to his fathers house, took the kids, and took him down to the station. He told me as he was being loaded into the cop car in front of the house she drove by real slow smiling ear to ear the whole time:upeyes:


    Don't end up like my friend. Make sure you protect yourself and your daughter before you go back to your wife with open arms. Good luck in what ever route you choose.
     
  2. The Maggy

    The Maggy

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    Unconditional love between a married couple is a two way street.

    For better or worse is for better or worse. In the op's case, things slipped towards the worse and his wife bailed. She is the one that put a condition on their love.

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  3. faawrenchbndr

    faawrenchbndr DirtyThirty fan CLM

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    Lose the tramp,......once a cheater, always a cheater!
     
  4. JW1178

    JW1178

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    I've seen so much of this. Women complain if you aren't working enough but if you are, then they are lonely.

    My friend runs a land scaping business, and he said the lonely housewife thing, well, if he wanted to get with a married woman, he could. Knowing that bastage, I bet he has. lol

    You know, some couples adress it differently. Swinging is more common than you think. Look up swinger clubs, if it wasn't so common then why do these clubs do so well. Too bad it's like a nued beach thing, where those naked you wish weren't. However that's not cheating, because it's consentual.

    Cheating is the "in" thing now. Women are dong it as much if not more than men. Women are very proud of their sexual prowless.

    I have heard a lot of different stats, but they say there has been cheating in over 75% of marriages, and half of married people have cheated.

    The worse part about cheating is not the sex, or affections, it's the lies, which if someone lies, you can not trust them. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is, legal, love, friendship, ect, trust is the foundation. If you lose that trust, the whole house will collapse no matter how hard you try to keep it up.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2012
  5. M&P15T

    M&P15T Beard One

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    OP, you're making a huge mistake.

    The realtionship is over, get out now.
     
  6. FPS

    FPS

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    Tough situation. If it were me I'd like to think I'd be showing her the door. I'm married for twenty years and I know it isn't all peaches and ice cream. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.


    .
     
  7. jeepinbandit

    jeepinbandit Sgt. USMC

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    This happens more often then people want to think about. Women are manipulative and they do **** like that because they know
    1)lots of guys will fall for it

    2)the system is biased in a females favor. In this world and ***** and some **** will get you pretty far.

    Must have missed this the first time around
    No you do not need her for ****. I have a buddy raising THREE little girls on his own because his wife was a cheating ***** (while he was deployed to boot). It sucks sometimes but they are better off without her.


    Sent from my iPhone
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2012
  8. paul45

    paul45

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    Yes, I agree.

    The OP is just as foolish as his sister to put up with that behavior.

    OP, get some backbone.

    Man up. Get some self respect.

    Get a lawyer...your OWN lawyer.

    Stop being a chump.
     
  9. damnyankee20

    damnyankee20

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    I'll tell ya, I've been thru something similar, we have three kids, none of which are teenagers yet.

    At first, she was unsympathetic but as time went on (I was numb for 2 years), she realized how deeply she hurt me. I would cry in front of her. And, when she saw how deeply I loved her, she too, started to cry and feel guilty. It took a many long months to heal and not look at her as a f'ing cheater, but her love for me healed TOGETHER.

    We would cry on each other's shoulders, told each other how much we loved each other, forgave each other for not tuning in to each other, and we renewed our vows. It took nearly two years for me to look at her and not see her as a cheater BUT, those thoughts will go away. Trust me. We also made a mutual decision to start living for our kids and becoming active parents in Scouts, band, and sports. And, we started going to church regularly...and we learned (and were inspired) by the people in the Bible who suffered far worse situations than an affair - and these people not only got thru their situation, but came out on top.

    Two years later, our marriage is on a new level. I worship her and she worships me. Literally. We are inseparable and truly enjoy each other's company. Her cheating actually took our relationship to a higher level because we realized first hand how easily trust, love, marriage, and family could be destroyed in one evening. And, we both realized how Selfishness could destroy everyone around us, particularly our children.

    Whether you stay together is up to you: anger, bitterness, hostile words will only drive both of you away. If you two truly care about each other, then start being attentive to each other with all the love and understanding within you. And most of all, Forgiveness from both of you will make you both of you feel better about yourselves and your marriage, and in fact will strengthen your marriage. In a few years, you'll both realize it was a traumatic event and both of you got thru it together.

    There was a time where the two of you were crazy about each other. Those feelings are still inside both of you...you two have to dig down deep and bring it back out. If you follow the path my wife and I did, your marriage will not only survive, you will want to be together for all eternity. Getting thru the hurt and rebuilding that trust sucks...but it's well worth it!

    As my parents used to tell me: Father Time heals all wounds. So think carefully before you put your child into a situation where she's growing up without both parents.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2012
  10. PaulMason

    PaulMason

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    Who came up with that idea? It isn't a good one unless you include all assets.

    Depending upon your state the judge splits ups the assets. So, if she cheats, you get the house. But the judge splits up all the other assets - like your pension and the car. He might say the house is worth X so she will get more of the other assets to balance things out.

    Also, you have a child, so if she gets custody, the judge could say you own the house but she gets to live there until the child is 18.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2012
  11. JD_19x9

    JD_19x9

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    Tough break...

    To the curb she goes... You will never be able to trust her again
     
  12. Zonny

    Zonny

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    I take it Thanksgiving dinner with the family is off?


    There is probably nothing that hurts worse than cheating. Trust and respect both, out the window.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2012
  13. engineer151515

    engineer151515

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    <<<< divorced

    Since you asked for opinions

    This . .

    and this


    I doubt the "deal" you made using the house as a hostage to fidelity would even stand up in divorce court. Depending on the laws of the State, it might be a 50/50 split of assets no matter what you "agreed" to.

    Most sorry for your grief.

    It took me years to recover from the loss of trust. Probably never did because I remain single today.
     
  14. billybad34209

    billybad34209

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    This is your answer. They WILL do it again. Avoid confrontation with brother in law. Not worth it. I went thru 14 years of this crap with my first wife. You cannot change them with counseling either. In society, murder is one of the worst actions you can commit. In a marriage, infidelity is the worst action you can commit. If you let her slide......she got away with murder. Pick up what I'm putting down? All that stuff about being lonely, and not giving enough attention is bull****. If you really love someone, and dedicate your life to them, you would never even think about hurting them like this. I'm really sorry for this happening too you.
     
  15. brisk21

    brisk21

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    You want advice? Get even. Enjoy it.
     
  16. rednoved

    rednoved NRA Member

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    I'd call a quits. That's me though. She blamed it on your work schedule, and didn't take full blame for her own actions. That should tell you a lot about her, and the way she views the relationship. If you want to save it, maybe you can eventually regain the trust?
     
  17. Seale Team

    Seale Team

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    Love is a powerful thing. Ive a family member whos wife ran off on several excursions in the course of their marriage. He always happily took her back. They made it 49 yrs and 9 months and she moved in with the neighbor. The man went to his grave still loving her. She? Who knows, says she totally regrets it.

    I've a friend in life who would swear I was playing poker with him when the BIL got both his arms broke by a bat. Id recommend everyone have such a buddy.

    Something humbling about someone else having to wipe your butt. Just saying...
     
  18. jeepinbandit

    jeepinbandit Sgt. USMC

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    Common story here though her saying she regrets hurting him like that is probably a lie.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2012
  19. PaulMason

    PaulMason

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    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tp5Rdb9ncfM"]George Jones ,HE STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY - YouTube[/ame]
     
  20. Naelbis

    Naelbis

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    Been there, done that....Took her back after the first one cause I was stupid, finally got out after the third or fourth...She is lying to you about the no sex part, I guarantee it and if you don't kick her to the curb then she will never look at you with respect again....and on some level you wouldn't be respecting yourself either.
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    Last edited: Oct 20, 2012
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