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Why We Love Our Kid's #2

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Eddie C., Jan 29, 2003.


  1. Eddie C.

    Eddie C.
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    Why We Love Our Kid's #2


    POLICE # 1
    >> >
    >> > While taking a routine vandalism report at an
    >> > elementary school, I was interrupted by a little
    >> > girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my
    >> > uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I
    >> > answered and continued writing the report. "My
    >> > mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
    >> > police.
    >> >
    >> > Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her.
    >> >
    >> > "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot
    >> > toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
    >> >
    >> > POLICE # 2
    >> >
    >> > It was the end of the day when I parked my police
    >> > van in front of the station. As I gathered my
    >> > equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I
    >> > saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog
    >> > you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I
    >> > replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
    >> > towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
    >> > "What'd he do?"
    >> >
    >> > ELDERLY
    >> >
    >> > While working for an organization that delivers
    >> > lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
    >> > four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She
    >> > was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances
    >> > of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
    >> > wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair
    >> > of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
    >> > myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
    >> > merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will
    >> > never believe this!"
    >> >
    >> > DRESS~UP
    >> >
    >> > A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
    >> > party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
    >> > warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
    >> >
    >> > "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always
    >> > gives you a headache next morning."
    >> >
    >> > DEATH
    >> >
    >> > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
    >> > church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer
    >> > that nearly made his collar wilt.
    >> >
    >> > Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates
    >> > had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial
    >> > should be performed, they had secured a small box
    >> > and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready
    >> > for the disposal of the deceased.
    >> >
    >> > The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
    >> > prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his
    >> > version of what he thought his father always said:
    >> > "Glory be unto the Faaaather. and unto the
    >> > Sonnn..... and into the hole he gooooes."
    >> >
    >> > SCHOOL
    >> >
    >> > A little girl had just finished her first week of
    >> > school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
    >> > mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
    >> > let me talk!"
    >> >
    >> > BIBLE
    >> >
    >> > A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
    >> > fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
    >> > Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
    >> > up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
    >> > old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
    >> > "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.
    >> >
    >> > "What have you got there, dear"? With astonishment
    >> > in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
    >> > Adam's underwear!"
    >> >