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Why We Love Our Kid's #2

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Eddie C., Jan 29, 2003.

  1. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

    5,094
    25
    Feb 21, 2002
    State of Confusion
    Why We Love Our Kid's #2


    POLICE # 1
    >> >
    >> > While taking a routine vandalism report at an
    >> > elementary school, I was interrupted by a little
    >> > girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my
    >> > uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I
    >> > answered and continued writing the report. "My
    >> > mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
    >> > police.
    >> >
    >> > Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her.
    >> >
    >> > "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot
    >> > toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
    >> >
    >> > POLICE # 2
    >> >
    >> > It was the end of the day when I parked my police
    >> > van in front of the station. As I gathered my
    >> > equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I
    >> > saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog
    >> > you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I
    >> > replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
    >> > towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
    >> > "What'd he do?"
    >> >
    >> > ELDERLY
    >> >
    >> > While working for an organization that delivers
    >> > lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
    >> > four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She
    >> > was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances
    >> > of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
    >> > wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair
    >> > of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
    >> > myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
    >> > merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will
    >> > never believe this!"
    >> >
    >> > DRESS~UP
    >> >
    >> > A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
    >> > party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
    >> > warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
    >> >
    >> > "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always
    >> > gives you a headache next morning."
    >> >
    >> > DEATH
    >> >
    >> > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
    >> > church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer
    >> > that nearly made his collar wilt.
    >> >
    >> > Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates
    >> > had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial
    >> > should be performed, they had secured a small box
    >> > and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready
    >> > for the disposal of the deceased.
    >> >
    >> > The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
    >> > prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his
    >> > version of what he thought his father always said:
    >> > "Glory be unto the Faaaather. and unto the
    >> > Sonnn..... and into the hole he gooooes."
    >> >
    >> > SCHOOL
    >> >
    >> > A little girl had just finished her first week of
    >> > school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
    >> > mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
    >> > let me talk!"
    >> >
    >> > BIBLE
    >> >
    >> > A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
    >> > fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
    >> > Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
    >> > up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
    >> > old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
    >> > "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.
    >> >
    >> > "What have you got there, dear"? With astonishment
    >> > in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
    >> > Adam's underwear!"
    >> >