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Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Muzzleloader, Jan 19, 2003.


  1. Muzzleloader

    Muzzleloader
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    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2001
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    Location:
    Traveling the USA
    Anyone seen these?
    Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs
    >
    > Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
    >"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the
    >kids to copulate me."
    >..............................................
    > New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the
    >upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever
    >comes first."
    >..............................................
    > And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run
    >over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders
    >said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
    >..............................................
    > Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
    >Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
    >..............................................
    > Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:
    >"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like
    >Norman Einstein."
    >..............................................
    > Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm
    >going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is
    >beautiful)
    >..............................................
    > Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
    >alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,
    >then line up in a circle."
    > ............................................
    > Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with
    >promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He
    >went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
    >..............................................
    > Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps
    >a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how
    >to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
    >..............................................
    > Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime
    >of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in
    >the morning regardless of what time it is."
    >..............................................
    > Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
    >to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's
    >expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
    >aunt." ( I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
    >..............................................
    > Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told
    >him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said,
    >"Coach, I don't know and I don't care."
    >..............................................
    > Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
    >told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like
    >you're spending too much time on one subject."
    >..............................................
    > Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by
    >Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips
    >responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye