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What women are really saying

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ERASER, Nov 21, 2003.

  1. ERASER

    ERASER Nyuk,Nyuk,Nyuk!

    Joined:
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    TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH!!
    Yes = No
    No = Yes
    Maybe = No
    We need = I want
    I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
    We need to talk = I need to complain
    Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
    Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
    Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
    I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
    Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    You're so.. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
    Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
    It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
    I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
    How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like



    TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH
    I'm hungry = I'm hungry
    I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
    I'm tired = I'm tired
    Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    I love you = Let's have sex now
    I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
    What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
    I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
    May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
    Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
    You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes
    Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
    I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay
     
  2. calzoom

    calzoom

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    Shoreline, WA, USA
    Your honesty is refreshing.;f
     

  3. GirlWithAGlock

    GirlWithAGlock Happy Camper

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    Los Angeles, CA
  4. SanduneCC

    SanduneCC Senior Member

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    Location:
    Boondocks, USA