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What I've learned on my deployments

Discussion in 'The US Air Force Forum' started by tyesai, May 9, 2006.


  1. tyesai

    tyesai
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    What I’ve learned during my deployment:
    1. Except for the Air Force, the military draft never ended following the Vietnam War. Members of the other U.S. Armed Services were forced to enlist. How else can you explain why Soldiers, Marines and Sailors are so upset that Airmen are treated so well? They obviously would have been smart enough to join the Air Force, too, had they had a choice. That damn draft!

    2. When a Soldier or Marine asks how long your deployment is, it is not appropriate for an Airman to answer: “Six months sucker!”

    3. You have to admire Soldiers and Marines for spending an entire year away from their families. But after hearing their constant complaints about Airmen deploying for only four months or six months, it gets real old, real fast. Here are a couple of my favorite comebacks when asked why Airmen have shorter deployments: “Because an Airman can do the same job in half the time,” or, “We get six months off for good behavior,” or, when they catch me in an especially rotten mood, “You joined the wrong service dumb ass, get over it already,” or “Your wife’s fat and ugly, are you gonna blame me for that, too?”

    4. “Joint operations” would run so much smoother if you removed “the few and the proud,” “an organization of one” and anything that “runs deep.”

    5. That little pocket on the side of the new Air Force PT shorts is a great place for my lighter! They need to give me a bigger one of the other side so I don’t have to carry my cigarettes while I’m jogging.

    6. The requirement to wear either the Desert Combat Uniform or the Air Force physical fitness uniform in a deployed environment is a conspiracy by senior officers who want to get saluted on and off duty.

    7. Many male service members are issued beer goggles in their deployment gear.

    8. No matter how much you try to rationalize it when you get home, you still nailed an ugly chick while you were deployed … and then bragged about it.

    9. In some strange way, having access to a Burger King, a Baskin Robbins and a specialty coffee shop makes up for all the mortar and rocket attacks.

    10. During daylight hours, U.S. Army helicopters are technologically
    advanced, highly tuned killing machines; when they’re screaming over your hooch at 1 a.m., 2 a.m. and again at 3:30 a.m., they turn into annoyingly loud, supped-up lawnmowers.

    11. Military leaders decided to protect deployed service members from dangerous insect-borne diseases by having them dowse their combat uniforms with a highly concentrated insect repellant. Unfortunately, most of the insects come out at night when military members are wearing their unprotected fitness uniforms. Yeah, a lot of thought when into that one.

    12. Between maintenance delays, passenger terminal problems and other miscellaneous blunders, a seven-hour flight from Baltimore to Ramstein Air Base, Germany, is actually less attractive than a 14-hour-long dental procedure.

    13. Female service members – no matter where they rank on the evolutionary chain -- are always the center of attention in a deployed environment.

    14. A female service member’s self esteem becomes noticeably higher the closer they are to a deployed environment.

    15. The “e” in Army stands for “efficiency.”

    16. Some Soldiers who read this might feel good about No. 15, so let me clarify … it’s spelled A-R-M-Y, not A-R-M-E-E.

    17. When an Army or Marine Corps officer makes a bad decision, he will not admit it. Instead, he immediately changes the policy so that it mirrors his bad decision, thus making his decision correct.
     

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  2. mappleby285

    mappleby285
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    Nice list. I have no doubt in my mind I joined the right branch. :patriot:
     

  3. USMC03Grunt

    USMC03Grunt
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    Well, being a prior Marine, let me ask you this; Got your new ABU cammies yet?:uglylol: :rofl: :animlol: :laughing:
     
  4. tyesai

    tyesai
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    They aren't as gay as what they were trying to push down our throats.

    Get it, gay, push down our throats.:supergrin:

    At least we run now instead of riding a bike. We have to do push ups and sit-ups too. That further legatimizes us as the "real military"

    Last thing, thanks Marine. I have lots of family that is in Corp or retired so don't look to me for a bashing. At least not a hard one.

    I have more fun making fun of LT's and aircrew. I hate them both. God help you if you are a LT and aircrew. I will talk never ending crap behind your back and occasionally to your face. That is the Fair Force way.
     
  5. mappleby285

    mappleby285
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    What about those of us who will be an LT soon but aren't yet? Do I get a reprive from your talking crap until I commission? :cool:
     
  6. meeko

    meeko
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    Being a 20 plus year member of the USAF and ANG I'll have to admit you left one out.

    The Air Force 58 years untouched by tradition.

    Sometimes I think I joined the wrong branch or at least career field. AF Security Forces are their own worst enemy not to mention the biggest micro managers IMHO.
     
  7. tyesai

    tyesai
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    Absolutly, after you get your holy blessing it is on.:supergrin: :beer:
     
  8. tyesai

    tyesai
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    We have tradition, back stabbing, tattle telling, constant change of uniforms, and Micro management.
     
  9. EODLRD

    EODLRD
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    tyesai,

    It is fun making fun of the high paid glorified Airman Basics with college isn't it? :whip: :cool:

    BTW, what's your job?
     
  10. tyesai

    tyesai
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    Crew Chief, C-130 type. Mostly backshop Aero Repair, with some flight line and Iso experience. Right now I am a glorified baby sitter doing instructor duty.

    Good job although sometimes it can be frustrating to the ninth degree, like my current class. Mostly smart Airmen that either didn't want to be maintence, or lacksidasical (spelling?) or little sleepy heads. All I due is hollar/correct them for messing up the simplest things, like being on time, staying awake, blahblahblah. Sometimes you get a class that kicks butt and is highly motivated azz kickers. That is when it can be truly fun.

    Not all LT's are bad, but you can definetly pick out the NewB.
     
  11. EODLRD

    EODLRD
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    That's Cool.:cool:

    I've beem thinking about putting an instructor package in myself. I just haven't gotten around to looking into it yet.

    I hadn't thought about the unmotivated ones that may come through. Well, I guess that would be the one good thing about going to instructor duty for my job (EOD), they kick those ones out of school. :)
     
  12. tyesai

    tyesai
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    How do you like EOD? Are you gone alot? They offered me that when I came in along things like NDI and PMEL, I did real well on the electronic portion of the ASVAB, but I wanted to work ON the airplanes. If I would have known then what I know now I would have snagged up PMEL or NDI.

    Oh well, I like being a crew chief. It is easy enough. EOD I considered briefly, then decided I would rather not mess around with bombs. Knowing how safety conscious the military is now I may have made a different decision then.

    As far as the instructor thing goes, it is probably one of the best jobs I have had. Like I said, it can be frustrating, but life really couldn't get easier.
     
  13. G19Tony

    G19Tony
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    Sneet
    CLM

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    I'm sorry you hate aircrew. Did you wash out of FE school or something? After 8 years in Weapons, I was a C-141 FE for 12. I enjoyed having highly educated pilots fly me around from beer party to beer party. We could usually get them to buy too. Maybe that C-130 thing is getting you down. You know what they say... Props are for boats. :supergrin: :clown: :joker: :patriot:
     
  14. BocaGlock

    BocaGlock
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    What I recall...

    "This isn't the REAL Air Force"--always seemed that the current assignment wasn't like the rest of the Air Force

    "My next assignment will be better"--never, usually the same game with a different name unless one was stuck at a remote in Alaska

    with shoulders shrugged "I don't know"--the universal airmens' response

    "Keep your roots planted in a pot"--don't get settled in one place, new orders are on the way

    "Pencil pushers and desk jockies congregate in room 143"---aka, the crapper
     
  15. Blitzer

    Blitzer
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    Cool Cat

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    I spent four glorious years as an Air Force 303x2, Search and Traffic control RADAR, AWACS's little ground based brother.

    It was like the Boys Scouts without the adult supervison.

    :upeyes: :freak: :steamed: :director: :help: :burn: :moonie: :shy: :toilet: :puking: :tinfoil: :brickwall: :animlol:
     
  16. jackb

    jackb
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    Pil Sung!

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    The two best bases in the AF are the one you came from and the one you're going to.

    I'm stationed at Eielson now. The town of Fairbanks is about 25 miles from the base, and the next closest city is Anchorage, about an 8 hour drive away. One movie theatre, -50 for eight months of the year, 20+ hours of darkeness in the winter...and believe it or not, I enjoy this base more than nay other I've been to.
     
  17. Supercub

    Supercub
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    AIR FORCE????

    Let me tell you a short story. Many many moons ago I spent some time at the behest of the U. S. Army. After training I was assined to a boat that would take me to Germany. I missed the boat!!! Another whole story. How do you miss your boat? I'll tell you sometime.

    Anyway, I end up at Westover Air Foce base in Massachusetts. I am delivered very nicely to Germany via a Constellation. Most beautiful plane ever designed. Hell, I bet half of you current AF guys never even heard of a Connie. If you old timers appreciate the Connie, Talk to me!

    After serving my time in "The Land of The Paper Nickel", (that ring any bells with you old timers?) I'm scheduled to return on a troop ship. Now I got this problem, see? I get terribly seasick and I'd been in this man's army long enough to know that you have to be proactive if you want things to go your way. No way am I going home on a troop ship!

    So, I get this paper from from a medic that says that "this man is unable to go on a ship due to some kind of terrible medical condition". Bear in mind I don't even have a single stripe. I did have one, but lost it. Another interesting story. Got a Good Conduct medal though. Go figure.

    Anyway, I'm waving my medical paper around and not having much luck. My last hope was an old sergeant who looked at my paper, put it in his pocket, and told me to get back in line. Sheeeeit!

    Anyway, this boat looked pretty big in the harbor. Out in the ocean it was like a little cork. Man, was I sick! If there had been a road, I would have gladly walked. I was too damned sick to die. Absolutely horrible. How in the hell do you Navy guys stand it?

    So, that is why I love the Air Force!

    I even got interested in flying ultralight aircraft around low and slow putting along at 70 mph. Airsick? Not as long as I have the stick.

    Thanks for letting an old fart ramble on.
     
  18. army_eod

    army_eod
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    The AF isn't really a military organization.

    They are a something to put up with. You guys have become oblolete since the Cold War ended.

    I worked with an AF LTC in the CENTCOM Op Center. He was a missile officer. He complained(whined)that the command was run by an Army officer (Abizaid). I reminded him that though this is a joint operation, most of the effort is Army and Marine. Also reminded him most of the casualties are also Army and Marine. I may remind you that the Marines and Navy also fly airplanes.

    Some AF guys have been re-tasked to provide some convoy security in Iraq. Talk about whining!
     
  19. jackb

    jackb
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    Pil Sung!

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    I completely agree. I would like nothing more than us becoming an Army Air Corps again. Hell, I'm an A-10 Crew Chief. Everything I do has zero effect on the AF, but makes a world of difference for the Army.
     
  20. army_eod

    army_eod
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    And as for the Warthog guys...thanks for the CAS. I know the AF didn't want the mission and the Army almost inherited the A-10s. Dynamite airplane.

    As you know, we love the Warthog.