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War tale..

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Skyhook, Feb 6, 2009.

  1. Skyhook


    Nov 4, 2002
    A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

    The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scumbag who got what he deserved, and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a fat, good-for-nothing, left wing liberal drunk who doesn't know how to drive. So I said that Osama Bin Ladin dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Hillary Clinton!"

    "And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.


  2. Skyhook


    Nov 4, 2002
    Staying with the military humor... (one mo time!)

    A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland, at

    midnight. During the pilot's pre-flight check, he discovers that the

    latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is

    sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care

    of it.

    The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft

    only to find that the latrine pump-truck has been left outdoors and is

    frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even

    more time.

    He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has

    to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and

    carefully (and slowly) so as not to risk criticism later.

    As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, 'Son, your attitude

    and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm going to

    personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished.'

    Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands

    tall and says, 'Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman

    in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland , for 11

    months without any leave, and reindeers' asses are beginning to look pretty

    good to me. I have one stripe; it's 2:30 in the morning, the temperature

    is 40 degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump **** out of an aircraft

    Now, just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?'