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Walmart wine

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by robin303, Nov 23, 2012.


  1. robin303

    robin303
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    Wal-Mart announced that, sometime in 2013 it will begin offering customers a new discount item; Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the wines at affordable prices in the $2 to $5 range..
    Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts but, 'There is a market for inexpensive wine,' said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas , Bentonville. 'However, branding will be very important.'
    Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brands and varieties.
    The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:
    10. Chateau Traileur Parc
    9. White Trashfindel
    8. Big Red Gulp
    7. World Championship Riesling
    6. NASCARbernet
    5. Chef Boyardeaux
    4. Peanut Noir
    3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
    2. Grape Expectations
    1. Nasti Spumante
    The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).
    P.S. Don't bother writing back to tell me that this is a hoax. I know possum is not white meat.
     

    Wanna kill these ads? We can help!
  2. TK-421

    TK-421
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    My favorites are 9 and 6. :rofl:
     

  3. ca survivor

    ca survivor
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  4. DustyJacket

    DustyJacket
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    Sounds like it will fit in well with Monty Python's sales job on Australian Wines:

    Black Stump Bordeaux is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good Sydney Syrup can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.

    Château Blue, too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.

    Old Smokey 1968 has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian Wino Society thoroughly recommends a 1970 Coq du Rod Laver, which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: eight bottles of this and you're really finished. At the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.

    Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is 'beware'. This is not a wine for drinking, this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

    Another good fighting wine is Melbourne Old-and-Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.

    Quite the reverse is true of Château Chunder, which is an appellation contrôlée, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation; a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.
     
  5. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster
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    Will we have to show proof of age?
     
  6. PaulMason

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    Why do people put down Walmart? Does it make them feel better about themselves? I don't know.

    ... as to the wine ... the price of wine in the USA is generally higher then in Europe. Maybe this will help bring down the cost of other wines.
     
  7. Adjuster

    Adjuster
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    What in the heck??!!! You need more internet seat time.



    /
     
  8. WIMPY

    WIMPY
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    I had some on the Gulf Coast (Redneck Coast) this summer. Could not pass up the $3 per bottle. It was very drinkable, wish I had brought some home.
     
  9. robin303

    robin303
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    :rofl: Maybe he didn't noticed what forum he is in. :whistling:
     
  10. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster
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    I like No. 5
     
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