Useful Military Warnings

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by SecondHandJokes, May 11, 2013.

  1. SecondHandJokes

    Lifetime Member

    "Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

    "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army

    "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

    "If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

    "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance

    "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual

    "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal

    "Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance

    "Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

    "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David Hackworth

    "If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal

    "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

    "Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anonymous

    "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Army Recruit

    "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies

    (And lastly)

    "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." - U.S. Ammo Troop

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  3. Glock30Eric

    Glock30Eric .45 ACP

    Good one! I like it!

  4. I have the scars to prove it.
  5. DustyJacket

    DustyJacket Directiv 10-289


    The quote is "Front toward enemy" and was on the front of claymore mines.

    And certain AAC silencers, now.

    I do like:
    though I doubt its "source' named above.....
    #4 DustyJacket, May 14, 2013
    Last edited: May 14, 2013
  6. samurairabbi

    samurairabbi Dungeon Schmuck

    When your unit is short of everything except enemy, you're in combat!
  7. SecondHandJokes

    Lifetime Member

    What are you, the joke police? I'll try to track down the original writer of this joke and let him know he failed your fact-check.
    #6 SecondHandJokes, May 14, 2013
    Last edited: May 14, 2013
  8. DWARREN123

    DWARREN123 Grumpy Old Guy

    Claymores beat ADT every time! :supergrin:
  9. Well, the military has plenty of these. More than claymores need to face the enemy. I figured it would be safe right behind it, but it's not great there either.
  10. Eric

    Eric Big Giant Head
    Staff Member Admin Moderator


    I can assure you that you do not want to be anywhere near the back of one either. We fired one on a range once while my squad laid in hasty fighting positions (10 or twelve inch deep man-size trench. These had a chunk of telephone pole laying in the front of it.) 30 meters or so behind it. We were completely protected from the blast, but the concussion made me feel like a well-wrung dish towel. It was like a full-body punch. It is a nasty weapon. Eric
  11. How about - There is "NO such thing as friendly fire."

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