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unusual words on reports

Discussion in 'Cop Talk' started by pal2511, Feb 15, 2011.

  1. pal2511


    Sep 15, 2002
    When you guys write your narratives do you sometimes like to throw in an obscure word just for fun? I imagine the county or city attorney saying to them self WTF


    Sep 14, 2008
    I once knew a guy that actually wrote in a UOF report...

    "I then placed the subject in felony prone position with the least amount of force necessary using my cat-like, lightning quick ninja skills."

    And sarge signed off on it because it was end of the shift and he didn't feel like reading it.

    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011

  3. ateamer

    ateamer NRA4EVR

    "When I interviewed her, the victim was lachrymose." That not only got me an attaboy at roll call from the sarge, but a handshake from the defense attorney right after his client pled guilty.
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  4. silverado_mick


    Nov 30, 2006
    This is one of my favorite games. Occasionally I piss my Lt off to the point that he throws a thesaurus at me from his office. I'll have to dig through some old reports and see what I can come up with.
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  5. ateamer

    ateamer NRA4EVR

    I don't think that it is all unreasonable to expect that those who desire to hold higher rank are possessed of expansive diction.
  6. Dragoon44

    Dragoon44 Unfair Facist Lifetime Member

    Apr 30, 2005
    Yeah did that a few times with the "insurance" calls. You know the ones like, "Something was stolen from the back of my work truck sometime in the past couple of weeks when it was parked somewhere." on our complaint cards we always put "Under investigation" after giving brief details of the complaint.

    On these types of calls I started ending it with "It's an FM" until the chief called me in and said, "That was pretty funny at first but now I have reporters wanting to know what an "FM is, so knock it off."

  7. x_out86


    Feb 19, 2007
    My secretary was quite confused a while ago when I dictated a report of a domestic between brother and sister.

    In his statement about why he choked his sister the guy told me he got pissed off because his sister and her friend were "beasting" on him...

    My secretary told me that she must have played back that part of the report 5 or so times trying to figure out if that was what I was really saying. I guess she ended up having chief who was passing her desk listen too.

    I told her I didnt know what it meant either....I just dictated what he told me. :whistling:
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  8. Cochese

    Cochese Most mackinest CLM

    Jun 30, 2004
    Unmarked Rustbox
    They call me the thesaurus at work.

    Just tonight, I used diatribe, expectorate and scrotum in one paragraph of a disorderly arrest.
  9. nitesite10mm

    nitesite10mm Dog Lover

    Jun 9, 2006
    North Alabama
    I ache to have the opportunity very soon that I may again use the word "swivet" in a narrative. :)

    Another favorite of mine is "demonstrable".
  10. lwt210


    Nov 28, 2001
    I have had several reports read at roll calls for the comedy factor.

    I have had junior officers that carry my old reports around for the comedy factor.

    What's the point of going to work if you can't make folks laugh? :cool:
  11. Hack

    Hack Crazy CO Gold Member

    I thought those were common everyday words. Then I used dung in a report one time at work, back several years or so ago. The Lieutenant was like, "What do you mean." I said to him, "Dung, as in Dung". I then had to explain it. To me that was a commonly used word. :faint:

    Then in constructing sentences they want it simple and short to the point of being below third grade level grammar.:upeyes:
  12. Hack

    Hack Crazy CO Gold Member

    Isn't swivet considered archaic?
  13. Hack

    Hack Crazy CO Gold Member

  14. CJStudent

    CJStudent Fenced In

    Nov 3, 2005
    That's how my department is, too. Some of the reports are interesting to read, in a bad way. I've had to type a lot of them into our database, and I believe some people really need an English 101 refresher course...
  15. Hack

    Hack Crazy CO Gold Member

    I guess in a way a lower level of language is needed to communicate the report to the inmates, but I think regardless of what prison you go to you will find staff members who are in need of extra learning and skill development, in the area of languages.
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  16. nitesite10mm

    nitesite10mm Dog Lover

    Jun 9, 2006
    North Alabama
    Perhaps in a moribund sort of way.

    See you and raise you one! ;)
  17. silverado_mick


    Nov 30, 2006
    Must be freaking nice! :tongueout:

    Cheesy, you get called it, I get one thrown at me. Apparently our working environments are slightly different. :rofl:

    A couple off the top of my head that I've used recently: aforementioned, vehemently, disparaging, obtuse, and on and on etc...

    I also like to play the "lets find the most obscure charge in the book to throw at this guy" game. I'm currently dying to charge someone for "Propulsion of Missles" for throwing something at a car. I went on a spree last year where the only traffic tickets I wrote were for "Improper entering into an intersection". I could cover so many different violations with that one charge that I just used the hell out of it!
  18. Hack

    Hack Crazy CO Gold Member

    *raises eyebrow*
  19. nitesite10mm

    nitesite10mm Dog Lover

    Jun 9, 2006
    North Alabama
    Did I go too far?
  20. CAcop


    Jul 21, 2002
    One of our now retired officers was from England and he was damn proud to tell us he used "propper" english vs. what we used. His big thing was to write curb in traffic reports with a "k." He did wus out and drop the extra "u" though.