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unusual words on reports

Discussion in 'Cop Talk' started by pal2511, Feb 15, 2011.


  1. pal2511

    pal2511
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    When you guys write your narratives do you sometimes like to throw in an obscure word just for fun? I imagine the county or city attorney saying to them self WTF
     

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  2. KING-PIN

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    I once knew a guy that actually wrote in a UOF report...

    "I then placed the subject in felony prone position with the least amount of force necessary using my cat-like, lightning quick ninja skills."

    And sarge signed off on it because it was end of the shift and he didn't feel like reading it.

    Classic.
     

    #2 KING-PIN, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  3. ateamer

    ateamer
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    "When I interviewed her, the victim was lachrymose." That not only got me an attaboy at roll call from the sarge, but a handshake from the defense attorney right after his client pled guilty.
     
    #3 ateamer, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  4. silverado_mick

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    This is one of my favorite games. Occasionally I piss my Lt off to the point that he throws a thesaurus at me from his office. I'll have to dig through some old reports and see what I can come up with.
     
    #4 silverado_mick, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  5. ateamer

    ateamer
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    I don't think that it is all unreasonable to expect that those who desire to hold higher rank are possessed of expansive diction.
     
  6. Dragoon44

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    Yeah did that a few times with the "insurance" calls. You know the ones like, "Something was stolen from the back of my work truck sometime in the past couple of weeks when it was parked somewhere." on our complaint cards we always put "Under investigation" after giving brief details of the complaint.

    On these types of calls I started ending it with "It's an FM" until the chief called me in and said, "That was pretty funny at first but now I have reporters wanting to know what an "FM is, so knock it off."

    :rofl::rofl:
     
  7. x_out86

    x_out86
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    My secretary was quite confused a while ago when I dictated a report of a domestic between brother and sister.

    In his statement about why he choked his sister the guy told me he got pissed off because his sister and her friend were "beasting" on him...

    My secretary told me that she must have played back that part of the report 5 or so times trying to figure out if that was what I was really saying. I guess she ended up having chief who was passing her desk listen too.

    I told her I didnt know what it meant either....I just dictated what he told me. :whistling:
     
    #7 x_out86, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  8. Cochese

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    They call me the thesaurus at work.

    Just tonight, I used diatribe, expectorate and scrotum in one paragraph of a disorderly arrest.
     
  9. nitesite10mm

    nitesite10mm
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    I ache to have the opportunity very soon that I may again use the word "swivet" in a narrative. :)

    Another favorite of mine is "demonstrable".
     
  10. lwt210

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    I have had several reports read at roll calls for the comedy factor.

    I have had junior officers that carry my old reports around for the comedy factor.

    What's the point of going to work if you can't make folks laugh? :cool:
     
  11. Hack

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    I thought those were common everyday words. Then I used dung in a report one time at work, back several years or so ago. The Lieutenant was like, "What do you mean." I said to him, "Dung, as in Dung". I then had to explain it. To me that was a commonly used word. :faint:

    Then in constructing sentences they want it simple and short to the point of being below third grade level grammar.:upeyes:
     
  12. Hack

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    Isn't swivet considered archaic?
     
  13. Hack

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    :agree:
     
  14. CJStudent

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    That's how my department is, too. Some of the reports are interesting to read, in a bad way. I've had to type a lot of them into our database, and I believe some people really need an English 101 refresher course...
     
  15. Hack

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    I guess in a way a lower level of language is needed to communicate the report to the inmates, but I think regardless of what prison you go to you will find staff members who are in need of extra learning and skill development, in the area of languages.
     
    #15 Hack, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  16. nitesite10mm

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    Perhaps in a moribund sort of way.

    See you and raise you one! ;)
     
  17. silverado_mick

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    Must be freaking nice! :tongueout:

    Cheesy, you get called it, I get one thrown at me. Apparently our working environments are slightly different. :rofl:

    A couple off the top of my head that I've used recently: aforementioned, vehemently, disparaging, obtuse, and on and on etc...

    I also like to play the "lets find the most obscure charge in the book to throw at this guy" game. I'm currently dying to charge someone for "Propulsion of Missles" for throwing something at a car. I went on a spree last year where the only traffic tickets I wrote were for "Improper entering into an intersection". I could cover so many different violations with that one charge that I just used the hell out of it!
     
  18. Hack

    Hack
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    *raises eyebrow*
     
  19. nitesite10mm

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    Did I go too far?
     
  20. CAcop

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    One of our now retired officers was from England and he was damn proud to tell us he used "propper" english vs. what we used. His big thing was to write curb in traffic reports with a "k." He did wus out and drop the extra "u" though.
     
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