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UNderstanding women

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Dec 9, 2006.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    There are two times when a man doesn't
    understand a woman:
    Before marriage and after marriage.
  2. jb911


    Apr 18, 2006
    SW Ohio

  3. Since I'm a FNG, maybe I'd better give a short self-intro before I post: I'm former USAF, semi-retired Feeb, and present campaigner against entropy here in north Texas. Glad to have found a kindred place on the 'net.

    we can never overlook the fact there are differences between the two biological partners – not just the visible anatomical ones, either, as urgently important as those are to each of us. Well, speaking for us males, anyway.

    No, that wacky old bat, Ma Nature, means for each sex to approach life circumstances differently. A research project at the University of California – Irvine and the University of New Mexico discovered there are ". . . two different types of brains designed for equally intelligent behavior.” The report goes on to say that while male brains have more gray matter and information-processing centers reside in the brain’s gray matter, networking connections between these centers are in the white matter, more prevalent in female brains. In fact, women have four times as many connecting neurons between the white and gray centers than do men.

    Which may explain why a male LEO:

    1. Couldn’t care less if a Glock makes his ass look bigger than a Sig does.

    2. Only uses the rear-view mirror in the unit for looking backwards – and leaves it pointed it in the same direction.

    3. Has a bad hair day only when he gets a sunburn on his bald spot at the range.

    4. Would never, no matter how logical it seems, use a tampon to clean his pistol.

    5. Has the same color hair on his creds month-to-month.

    6. Isn’t likely to spray a felon with trial-size Breck Hard-to-Hold, thinking it’s Mace.

    7. Would go fifty miles out of his way rather than ask directions with an arrested male subject in the car.

    8. Can not conceive of using pantyhose as an emergency restraint device rather than a belt, even though it’s been scientifically proven you can run faster with a skirt hiked up than with your pants around your ankles.

    9. Is willing to declare a moratorium on arrests during Superbowl Sunday and on a fifth World Series game day.

    10. Has no means of leaving an emergency message on bathroom mirrors.

    11. Snagged nail situation results in profanity/blasphemy, but never tears.

    12. Has the same shoe-top hemline for an entire career (excluding golf shorts).

    I would imagine some members of the distaff side could suggest other, less male-centric differences. I ask for discretion, noting that other scientific studies suggest a man’s ego becomes much more fragile with age, and therefore should be treated oh, so kindly by members of the tender, forgiving, nurturing sex – that is to say, dames.
  4. Navy HMC

    Navy HMC

    Oct 23, 2005
    Piped ashore
    Hey, welcome to Glock Talk, FNG!!!!:supergrin: :animlol: :supergrin:

    In all seriousness, welcome!
  5. Dregan

    Dregan Nietzschean

    Jul 13, 2003
    Akron, OH, USA
    LD, is that you?