UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take One >> >> Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when >> one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" >> >> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, >> minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, >> threw >> it >> to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you > want." >> >> The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the >> clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway." >> >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Two >> >> To the optimist, the glass is half full. >> >> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. >> >> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be! >> >> >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Three >> >> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a >> particularly slow group of golfers. >> >> The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been >> waiting for fifteen minutes !" >> >> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept >> golf!" >> >> The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with >> him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead > of >> us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" >> >> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire >> fighters.They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last > year, >> so we >> always let them play for free anytime." >> >> The group fell silent for a moment. >> >> The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer > for >> them >> tonight." >> >> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist >> colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." >> >> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night ?" >> >> >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Four >> >> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil >> engineers? >> >> Mechanical engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets. >> >> >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Five >> >> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" >> >> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" >> >> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" >> >> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" >> >> >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Six >> >> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the >> possible designers of the human body. >> >> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." >> >> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system >> has many thousands of electrical connections." >> >> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. >> Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational > area?" >> >> >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Seven >> >> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. >> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough >> features yet. >> >> >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Eight >> >> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him >> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." >> >> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. >> >> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back > into >> a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." >> >> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and > returned >> it to the pocket. >> >> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a >> Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." >> >> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back > into >> his pocket. >> >> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a >> beautiful >> princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you >> want. Why won't you kiss me?" >> >> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a >> girlfriend, but a talking frog that I can carry around in my pocket, >> now that's really cool !!! "