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Understanding Engineers

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Nowhere Man, Jun 1, 2007.

  1. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man

    979
    0
    May 22, 2003
    North Port, FL
    UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take One
    >>
    >> Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
    >> one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
    >>
    >> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
    >> minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
    >> threw
    >> it
    >> to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you
    > want."
    >>
    >> The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
    >> clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
    >>
    >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Two
    >>
    >> To the optimist, the glass is half full.
    >>
    >> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
    >>
    >> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be!
    >>
    >>
    >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Three
    >>
    >> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
    >> particularly slow group of golfers.
    >>
    >> The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been
    >> waiting for fifteen minutes !"
    >>
    >> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
    >> golf!"
    >>
    >> The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
    >> him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead
    > of
    >> us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
    >>
    >> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
    >> fighters.They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
    > year,
    >> so we
    >> always let them play for free anytime."
    >>
    >> The group fell silent for a moment.
    >>
    >> The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
    > for
    >> them
    >> tonight."
    >>
    >> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
    >> colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
    >>
    >> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night ?"
    >>
    >>
    >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Four
    >>
    >> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
    >> engineers?
    >>
    >> Mechanical engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
    >>
    >>
    >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Five
    >>
    >> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    >>
    >> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    >>
    >> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    >>
    >> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
    >>
    >>
    >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Six
    >>
    >> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
    >> possible designers of the human body.
    >>
    >> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
    >>
    >> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
    >> has many thousands of electrical connections."
    >>
    >> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
    >> Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
    > area?"
    >>
    >>
    >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Seven
    >>
    >> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    >> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
    >> features yet.
    >>
    >>
    >> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Eight
    >>
    >> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
    >> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
    >>
    >> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
    >>
    >> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
    > into
    >> a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
    >>
    >> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
    > returned
    >> it to the pocket.
    >>
    >> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
    >> Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
    >>
    >> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
    > into
    >> his pocket.
    >>
    >> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
    >> beautiful
    >> princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you
    >> want. Why won't you kiss me?"
    >>
    >> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
    >> girlfriend, but a talking frog that I can carry around in my pocket,
    >> now that's really cool !!! "
     
  2. Cali-Glock

    Cali-Glock Mountain Man

    5,679
    382
    Feb 11, 2002
    California Sierra Mnts
    I had seen most of those before, but the last one was both new to me and it just killed me!:rofl:

    Now this is sig line material!
     


  3. cougar_guy04

    cougar_guy04

    281
    0
    Sep 11, 2006
    I've seen it before . . . it (and the rest of them) is so funny because it's so true. I love the ME's build the weapons and the Civies build the targets one . . . only because I want to build them for the Navy/DOD :supergrin:

    <-- Going into his senior year for mech. engineering . . . what was I thinking!:shocked: