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Two Aliens

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Mrs Glockrunner, Mar 22, 2012.

  1. Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas
    station that was closed for the night.

    They approached one of the gas pumps and the
    younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings,
    Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

    The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

    The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

    The older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you."

    The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated
    his greeting.

    Again, there was no response.

    Pissed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray
    gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in
    peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

    The older alien again warned his comrade saying, "You
    probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make
    him mad."

    ”Rubbish,” replied the young alien.. He aimed his
    weapon and opened fire.

    There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared
    towards him and blew the younger alien, off his feet and
    threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards
    away into a cactus patch.

    Half an hour passed. When he finally regained
    consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened
    his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser,
    alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green
    head.

    "What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried
    alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he
    was so dangerous?"

    The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on
    his crispy friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned
    during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy
    who can loop his p-n-s over his shoulder twice and then
    stick it in his ear."
     

  2. USSOCOM

    USSOCOM

    1,045
    4
    Nov 5, 2001
    North Carolina
    The Ham Bush

    Two aliens crossed the Rio Grande and were walking aimlessly in the desert. Hungry, thirsty and tired, the younger man said he saw a tree in the distance, loaded with sun cured bacon and there was a water hole next to the bacon tree. The old man told him that it was a mirage and keep walking. The younger one had to investigate and crept up to the tree. Immediately the border patrol apprehended the young man and then the older alien. Once they were loaded into the van headed back to the station, the young man turned to his elder and told him it was not a bacon tree, but a hambush.