Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You won't see any cutesy little smiley faces in this list just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. And in bold letters so that all of you can read it. 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. And always remember....when life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!!!!!