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To: All EMS Personnel

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Grog, Feb 8, 2005.


  1. Grog

    Grog
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    Millennium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 1999
    260
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    Location:
    TX
    To: All EMS Personnel
    From: Chief of Operations
    Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

    It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following:

    1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH(messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

    2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

    3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to ****), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

    4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

    5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

    6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."

    7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."

    8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up", ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no longer playing records).
     

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  2. 7.62mmFMJ

    7.62mmFMJ
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    Always Forward

    Joined:
    May 1, 2004
    176
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    Location:
    Cedar City, Utah
    ;z ;z ;z
     

  3. scottlang

    scottlang
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    Millennium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 1999
    418
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    Location:
    Texas
    YOU OWE ME A NEW KEYBOARD!!!!
     
  4. jlw_84

    jlw_84
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    General Glocker

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2002
    450
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    Location:
    Midwest
    Pure Gold. That one is getting printed out and hung up at the station.
     
  5. Aquanewt

    Aquanewt
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    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2001
    870
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD, USA
    DRT has been popular in the Baltimore, Murderland for some time.
     
  6. CRider

    CRider
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    Crider who?

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2001
    128
    0
    Location:
    in PA, with BlueJeans
    LMFAO, thank you!
     
  7. JByer323

    JByer323
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    Is it dead?

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    267
    1
    Location:
    Bloomington, IN
    x2
     
  8. StoneGiant

    StoneGiant
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    Joined:
    May 31, 2003
    561
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    Location:
    Derry, NH
    The attached file contains many acronyms you won't want to use on patient reports....
     
  9. Slinger646

    Slinger646
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    King of Sling

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2004
    476
    0
    Location:
    In the Mountains of VA
    Its amazing how many of these ive actually seen used....