Save the trees, wipe your ass with an owl. * Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of days I've stayed alive! * I saw a woman with the word 'Guess' on it, I said, "implants?" * Stay in drugs, drink school and don't do milk. * If hot air rises, why is it so cold in outter space? * If dogs eat out of dog bowls, why do you eat off of a plate? * My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. * At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits. * People like you are the reason people like me need medication. * How come Windex doesn't taste like it smells?