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Thoughts on marriage...

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by grayelky, Mar 4, 2008.

  1. grayelky

    grayelky

    307
    0
    Aug 8, 2006
    Metro Atlanta
    WHY AM I MARRIED?
    You have two choices in life:
    You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
    __________
    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
    'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
    __________
    A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
    'Husband Wanted'.
    Next day she received a hundred letters.
    They all said the same thing:
    'You can have mine.'
    __________
    When a woman steals your husband,
    there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
    __________
    A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
    __________
    A little boy asked his father,
    'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
    Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
    __________
    A young son asked,
    'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his
    wife until he marries her?'
    Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
    __________
    Then there was a woman who said,
    'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then,
    it was too late.'
    __________
    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
    __________
    If you want your spouse to listen and
    pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
    __________
    Just think, if it were not for marriage, men would go through life
    thinking they had no faults at all.
    __________
    First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
    Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
    __________
    'A Woman's Prayer:
    Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love and to
    forgive him, and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray
    for Strength I'll just beat him to death'
    __________
    AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
    Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A
    blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they
    find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit
    onto the bus.
    So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
    husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as
    he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece
    of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me
    crazy.'
    The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR
    stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'
    ************************************************************************