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Things I've Learned In The South

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Mrs Glockrunner, Oct 16, 2013.

  1. A possum is a flat animal that ​
    sleeps in the middle of the road.

    There are 5,000 types of snakes and ​
    4,998 of them live in the South.

    There are 10,000 types of spiders. ​
    All 10,000 of them live in the South, ​
    plus a couple no one's seen before.

    If it grows, it'll stick ya. ​
    If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

    Onced and Twiced are words.​
    It is not a shopping cart,​
    it is a buggy!

    Jawl-P? means, Did you all go​
    to the bathroom?

    People actually grow,​
    eat and like okra.

    Fixinto is one word. ​
    It means​
    I'm going to do that.

    There is no such thing as lunch. ​
    There is only dinner and then ​
    there's supper.

    Iced tea is appropriate for all meals ​
    and you start drinking it when you're two. ​
    We do like a little tea with our sugar.
    It is referred to as ​
    the Wine of the South.

    Backwards and forwards means I know ​
    everything about you.

    The word jeet is actually a question meaning, ​
    'Did you eat?'

    You don't have to wear a watch, ​
    because it doesn't matter what time it is, ​
    you work until you're done or ​
    it's too dark to see.

    You don't PUSH buttons, ​
    you MASH em.

    Ya'll is singular. ​
    All ya'll is plural.

    All the festivals across the state are ​
    named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, ​
    insect, or animal.

    You carry jumper cables in your car, ​
    for your OWN car.
    Why else would you carry them?

    The local papers cover national and ​
    international news on one page, but ​
    require 6 pages for​
    local high school sports, ​
    the motor sports, and gossip.​
    Don't forget the obits.

    Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, ​
    Miss (first name) or Mr.(first name)

    You think that the first day of deer season ​
    is a national holiday.

    You know what a hissy fit is.​
    And you know how to pitch one.

    Fried catfish is the other white meat.

    We don't need no dang​
    Driver's Ed. If our mama says​
    we can drive, we can drive!!!​
  2. Padre


    Jan 23, 2010
    Republic of Texas
    Goi'n to Mema's and Papa's (going to grandparents house)
    Have you seen Mom n 'm? (have you seen mom and them?)
    WalMart is where the family reunion is held ("are you com'n to the family reunion?)
    Y'unt to..... (do you want to?) Aight (allright)

  3. F350


    Feb 3, 2005
    The Wyoming Plains
    Pretty much covers it all.....

    [ame=""]Jeff Foxworthy's Complete Redneck Dictionary: All the Words You Thought You Knew the Meaning Of: Jeff Foxworthy: 9780345507020: Books@@AMEPARAM@@[/ame]
  4. We actually had family pictures taken in front of the massive stone fireplace at Bass Pro Shop in Atlanta.
    Cherokee Slim
  5. TK-421


    Oct 12, 2012
    Pflugerville, TX
    You forgot "How far is the gas station?" "Oh it's just down the road a piece."
  6. Everything is located over yonder.
  7. phonejack


    Jun 28, 2009
    I'm grinnin' like a goat eat in' sawbriars !
  8. cowboywannabe

    cowboywannabe you savvy?

    Jan 26, 2001
    them: "where you from"?

    me: Cleveland.

    them: "well, we wont hold that aginnya".
  9. Glock45Lover

    Glock45Lover Ham Radio Nut

    Jun 25, 2007
    Southeastern U.S.
    [ame=""]Lewis Grizzard - Southern Language - YouTube[/ame]
  10. That is funny. :supergrin: But a new yacker is worse.
  11. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster Millennium Member

    Sep 24, 1999
    Hartford, Vermont
    I had better learn all of these. I am moving to TN.
  12. F350


    Feb 3, 2005
    The Wyoming Plains

    Just remember, even in formal wear------- shoes are optional
  13. Paul53

    Paul53 Geezer Boomer

    Nov 27, 2011
    A Yankee is anybody from the North when in the South.
    A damn Yankee is one that's driving a U-Haul.
  14. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster Millennium Member

    Sep 24, 1999
    Hartford, Vermont
    That's good, for I AM from Cleveland.
  15. LTC Squire

    LTC Squire

    Nov 30, 2011
    You'ins and the young'ins Ort-not to do that !
    Y-Mama will come out of the hollow and take a hickory stick to ya butt ! :rofl:

    Courtesy of: Granny Squirrel "Natahala Gorge" Cherokee Co.
    Riverbend CG Murphy
    On the Roll -
  16. garyjandfamily


    Dec 11, 2007
    Growing up in the mountains of VA and GA, it wasn't 'till I moved away that I figured out that "DamnYankee" was actually TWO WORDS! Who knew?:whistling:

    I moved away from the south when I was 19. Now that I'm middle-aged, the southern word "usetacould" applies so much more to me...
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2013
  17. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster Millennium Member

    Sep 24, 1999
    Hartford, Vermont
  18. thetoastmaster

    thetoastmaster NOT a sheepdog!

    "Fer" is a distance of measurement in Georgia. If something is "Two fers down the road" You drive as fer as you can see once't, then as fer as you can see twice't. And "lunch" only comes in paper sacks. If you sit down at a table to eat it, it's dinner.

    Everything sugary that comes in a can or bottle is "a Coke".

    EVERYONE is a "ma'am" or a "sir".

    DON'T wear a hat indoors unless you want folks to ask you if your head's cold.

    Cornbread does NOT have sugar in it.

    And you will never hear a Southerner say "Duct tape won't fix that".

    Now I got a hankerin' for a bag of bolled peanuts and a Coke (not a typo).

    A Coke and a pack of crackers is a suitable breakfast.
  19. "Jeetjet?"

    "Nyet, nyou?"

    "Nyet, lesqueet!"


    Last edited: Nov 10, 2013
  20. Dave514


    Jul 6, 2013
    You can say something mean about someone as long as you follow it with 'Bless his/her heart'.

    That Brad Johnson, he's as dumb as a bag of hammers, bless his heart.