close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Things I've Learned In The South

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Mrs Glockrunner, Oct 16, 2013.


  1. Mrs Glockrunner

    Mrs Glockrunner
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    May 19, 2009
    3,638
    337
    Location:
    South Carolina
    A possum is a flat animal that ​
    sleeps in the middle of the road.

    There are 5,000 types of snakes and ​
    4,998 of them live in the South.

    There are 10,000 types of spiders. ​
    All 10,000 of them live in the South, ​
    plus a couple no one's seen before.

    If it grows, it'll stick ya. ​
    If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

    Onced and Twiced are words.​
    It is not a shopping cart,​
    it is a buggy!

    Jawl-P? means, Did you all go​
    to the bathroom?

    People actually grow,​
    eat and like okra.

    Fixinto is one word. ​
    It means​
    I'm going to do that.

    There is no such thing as lunch. ​
    There is only dinner and then ​
    there's supper.

    Iced tea is appropriate for all meals ​
    and you start drinking it when you're two. ​
    We do like a little tea with our sugar.
    It is referred to as ​
    the Wine of the South.

    Backwards and forwards means I know ​
    everything about you.

    The word jeet is actually a question meaning, ​
    'Did you eat?'

    You don't have to wear a watch, ​
    because it doesn't matter what time it is, ​
    you work until you're done or ​
    it's too dark to see.

    You don't PUSH buttons, ​
    you MASH em.

    Ya'll is singular. ​
    All ya'll is plural.

    All the festivals across the state are ​
    named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, ​
    insect, or animal.

    You carry jumper cables in your car, ​
    for your OWN car.
    Why else would you carry them?

    The local papers cover national and ​
    international news on one page, but ​
    require 6 pages for​
    local high school sports, ​
    the motor sports, and gossip.​
    Don't forget the obits.

    Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, ​
    Miss (first name) or Mr.(first name)

    You think that the first day of deer season ​
    is a national holiday.

    You know what a hissy fit is.​
    And you know how to pitch one.

    Fried catfish is the other white meat.

    We don't need no dang​
    Driver's Ed. If our mama says​
    we can drive, we can drive!!!​
     

    Wanna kill these ads? We can help!
  2. Padre

    Padre
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2010
    621
    68
    Location:
    Republic of Texas
    Goi'n to Mema's and Papa's (going to grandparents house)
    Have you seen Mom n 'm? (have you seen mom and them?)
    WalMart is where the family reunion is held ("are you com'n to the family reunion?)
    Y'unt to..... (do you want to?) Aight (allright)
     

  3. F350

    F350
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2005
    2,530
    480
    Location:
    The Wyoming Plains
    Pretty much covers it all.....

    [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Jeff-Foxworthys-Complete-Redneck-Dictionary/dp/0345507029"]Jeff Foxworthy's Complete Redneck Dictionary: All the Words You Thought You Knew the Meaning Of: Jeff Foxworthy: 9780345507020: Amazon.com: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517YynxtXaL.@@AMEPARAM@@517YynxtXaL[/ame]
     
  4. Cherokee Slim

    Cherokee Slim
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    196
    1
    Location:
    Soddy Daisy Tennessee
    We actually had family pictures taken in front of the massive stone fireplace at Bass Pro Shop in Atlanta.
    Cherokee Slim
     
  5. TK-421

    TK-421
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2012
    10,076
    717
    Location:
    Pflugerville, TX
    You forgot "How far is the gas station?" "Oh it's just down the road a piece."
     
  6. ColdSteelNail

    ColdSteelNail
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2011
    2,911
    162
    Location:
    Close To The Edge
    Everything is located over yonder.
     
  7. phonejack

    phonejack
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2009
    538
    42
    Location:
    arkansas
    I'm grinnin' like a goat eat in' sawbriars !
     
  8. cowboywannabe

    cowboywannabe
    Expand Collapse
    you savvy?

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2001
    20,958
    4,422
    them: "where you from"?

    me: Cleveland.

    them: "well, we wont hold that aginnya".
     
  9. Glock45Lover

    Glock45Lover
    Expand Collapse
    Ham Radio Nut

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    232
    22
    Location:
    Southeastern U.S.
    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imZjCbRuZ3c&list=PLBF5C47B161A67BB0"]Lewis Grizzard - Southern Language - YouTube[/ame]
     
  10. JuneyBooney

    JuneyBooney
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2009
    18,216
    3
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    That is funny. :supergrin: But a new yacker is worse.
     
  11. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster
    Expand Collapse
    Millennium Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 1999
    17,769
    544
    Location:
    Hartford, Vermont
    I had better learn all of these. I am moving to TN.
     
  12. F350

    F350
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2005
    2,530
    480
    Location:
    The Wyoming Plains

    Just remember, even in formal wear------- shoes are optional
     
  13. Paul53

    Paul53
    Expand Collapse
    Geezer Boomer

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2011
    8,153
    6,822
    Location:
    Maine
    A Yankee is anybody from the North when in the South.
    A damn Yankee is one that's driving a U-Haul.
     
  14. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster
    Expand Collapse
    Millennium Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 1999
    17,769
    544
    Location:
    Hartford, Vermont
    That's good, for I AM from Cleveland.
     
  15. LTC Squire

    LTC Squire
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2011
    8
    0
    You'ins and the young'ins Ort-not to do that !
    Y-Mama will come out of the hollow and take a hickory stick to ya butt ! :rofl:

    Courtesy of: Granny Squirrel "Natahala Gorge" Cherokee Co.
    Riverbend CG Murphy
    On the Roll -
     
  16. garyjandfamily

    garyjandfamily
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    654
    20
    Location:
    Utah
    Growing up in the mountains of VA and GA, it wasn't 'till I moved away that I figured out that "DamnYankee" was actually TWO WORDS! Who knew?:whistling:

    I moved away from the south when I was 19. Now that I'm middle-aged, the southern word "usetacould" applies so much more to me...
     
    #16 garyjandfamily, Nov 1, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2013
  17. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster
    Expand Collapse
    Millennium Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 1999
    17,769
    544
    Location:
    Hartford, Vermont
    Southern wisdom.
     
  18. thetoastmaster

    thetoastmaster
    Expand Collapse
    NOT a sheepdog!

    Joined:
    May 11, 2000
    2,294
    1
    Location:
    One Nation, Under Surveillance
    "Fer" is a distance of measurement in Georgia. If something is "Two fers down the road" You drive as fer as you can see once't, then as fer as you can see twice't. And "lunch" only comes in paper sacks. If you sit down at a table to eat it, it's dinner.

    Everything sugary that comes in a can or bottle is "a Coke".

    EVERYONE is a "ma'am" or a "sir".

    DON'T wear a hat indoors unless you want folks to ask you if your head's cold.

    Cornbread does NOT have sugar in it.

    And you will never hear a Southerner say "Duct tape won't fix that".

    Now I got a hankerin' for a bag of bolled peanuts and a Coke (not a typo).

    A Coke and a pack of crackers is a suitable breakfast.
     
  19. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall
    Expand Collapse
    HildabeastHater

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2000
    51,200
    49,420
    Location:
    Anti-Obamaville
    "Jeetjet?"

    "Nyet, nyou?"

    "Nyet, lesqueet!"

    :eat:







    .
     
    #19 ChuteTheMall, Nov 10, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2013
  20. Dave514

    Dave514
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2013
    19,815
    3,190
    Location:
    USSA
    You can say something mean about someone as long as you follow it with 'Bless his/her heart'.

    That Brad Johnson, he's as dumb as a bag of hammers, bless his heart.