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The Ventriloquist

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Hank Hill, Dec 17, 2002.

  1. One day, a ventriloquist was driving along a country road when he had a blowout. Not having a spare tire, he had to call the auto club. While he was waiting for the auto club truck to arrive, he saw an Indian farmer on the other side of the fence. Deciding that he would have some fun, he walked over to the fence and spoke to the Indian.

    “Do you mind if I talk to your animals?”

    The Indian looked at him like he was an idiot, but then shook his head “yes.”

    Looking at a cow, the ventriloquist asked “Ms. Cow, how’s your life here on the farm?”

    He then threw his voice and replied (as the cow) “It’s not too bad, but the Indian is often late milking me in the morning.”

    The Indian jumped back in surprise.

    The ventriloquist then looked at the horse and asked “Mr. Horse, how’s your life here on the farm?”

    Again, throwing his voice, he replied as the horse “It’s not too bad, but the Indian often works me too hard.”

    This time, the Indian was really shaken and started muttering.

    When the Indian saw the ventriloquist getting ready to talk to the sheep, he blurted out “Sheep lie, sheep lie!”
     

  2. reptiman

    reptiman Go Ducks

    837
    0
    Apr 13, 2001
    Springfield, Oregon
    A "sanitized" version for Ronny:

    One day, a ventriloquist was driving along a country road in Montana when he had a blowout. Not having a spare tire, he had to call the auto club. While he was waiting for the auto club truck to arrive, he saw a hillbilly farmer on the other side of the fence. Deciding that he would have some fun, he walked over to the fence and spoke to the hillbilly.

    “Do you mind if I talk to your animals?”

    The man looked at him like he was an idiot, but then shook his head “yes.”

    Looking at a cow, the ventriloquist asked “Ms. Cow, how’s your life here on the farm?”

    He then threw his voice and replied (as the cow) “It’s not too bad, but the hillbilly is often late milking me in the morning.”

    The hillbilly jumped back in surprise.

    The ventriloquist then looked at the horse and asked “Mr. Horse, how’s your life here on the farm?”

    Again, throwing his voice, he replied as the horse “It’s not too bad, but the hillbilly often works me too hard.”

    This time, the hillbilly was really shaken and started muttering.

    When the hillbilly saw the ventriloquist getting ready to talk to the sheep, he blurted out “If that there sheep done say somethin', it's a damned lie!!”
     
  3. Why? Because the guy who was shaken up by the ventriloquist was Indian? I have relatives that fit that mold. I am one fourth Choctaw (my grandmother was born and raised on a reservation) and hold tribal membership. I define "racism" as hatred of someone based on their race. If you can't laugh at yourself, you need to take a chill pill.

    I guess you do have a point, though, sterotypes really have no basis in reality. I mean, I've never seen a bad Chinese driver, or had to sit next to a Frenchman who hadn't bathed in a week.
     
  4. Oh, so it's okay to poke fun at white rural males, huh?
     
  5. reptiman

    reptiman Go Ducks

    837
    0
    Apr 13, 2001
    Springfield, Oregon
    I could go back and make him Scottish...anyone here a Scottsman?


    I'll admit I was offended by the term "Indian". We all know that it should have been "Native American". Shame on all of us ;Q.
     
  6. Ender

    Ender ComfortablyNumb

    5,214
    34
    May 20, 2001
    Tactlessville
    if you can use the word 'rural' properly in a sentence, the hillbilly joke obviously doesn't apply to you :)
     
  7. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

    24,315
    2,690
    May 24, 2000
    Beaumont,Texas
    The BEST jokes are always offensive!!!!! Get OVER IT!!!!!


    ;N
     
  8. chip00

    chip00

    112
    0
    Apr 11, 2001
    USA
    Wait I thought it was not "Native Americans" but "indigenous peoples" because I was born in America and am a native thereof yet have no tribal affiliation.
    Note, in Latin America they refer to "those people" as indigenous people.
    Canada uses other words for the same. The words aboriginal, First Nations, and race relations keep popping up there in my google search and reading of "sioux lookout"