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The job application

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Nov 29, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

    8,666
    587
    Aug 20, 2002
    Virginia
    This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to
    McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
    NAME: Greg Bulmash.

    SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

    DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
    whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
    here in the first place.

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style
    severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

    SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it
    notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
    intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
    TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do
    you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
    winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a
    fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest
    thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
    KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

    SIGN HERE: Aries.
     

  2. J Sand

    J Sand Lost cause

    96
    0
    Nov 24, 2003
    Playing Hide and Seek...
  3. axel

    axel Nov. 11, 1918

    1,055
    0
    Oct 19, 2003
    Indiana