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The great whacker thread...

Discussion in 'Cop Talk' started by Rabbi, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

    Dec 18, 2004
    San AntonioTexas
    I am not quite sure why but I find these people so very amusing.

    Tell your stories about wannabes/whackers/holster sniffers/mall ninjas...please.
  2. Mayhem like Me

    Mayhem like Me Semper Paratus

    Mar 13, 2001
    Not a chance
    Local Whacker, just saw him after his 6 month tour of Afghanistan (never happened) and he wanted to sell me his M4 because he took too many lives with it...

    So I had to play and said your "personal" M4 and no he said he was given his Issued M4 by his commander and it was OK because it was just a 3 round burst..Now since he has never even been in the service I asked if Captain Kangaroo gave it to him and Said ... YOU DON'T HAVE A REAL M4 STOP LYING TO ME IF YOU COME UP WITH THIS BULL**** AGAIN I WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE CHARGED, SO TAKE YOUR MADE UP STORIES BACK TO YOUR ONLINE GAMING BUDDIES...

    This was in earshot of 30 or so people so he slunk back to his whacker mobile (Lifted F350 with Cowboy up across the back window and a ranger tab on the window below it.)
    And left..

    Fast forward 2 weeks I see him outside a bar in a Marine Multicam uniform with his scgragly beard and cover and SSgt insignia along with Ranger tab, he is backing up 4 gentlemen I know as former service members are surrounding him...

    He yells my name and trots toward my car, I get out and ask where his M4 was and start to laugh, he makes a beeline for the truck as the now 4 walk over to me and ask if I could charge the guy for his lies, He actually wore that uniform into a bar and was drinking... I gave them his name and where his day job was in case they wanted to send some investigators looking for that M4....:supergrin:

  3. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

    Dec 18, 2004
    San AntonioTexas
  4. DaBigBR

    DaBigBR No Infidels!

    Oct 28, 2005
    Circling the wagons.
    We had an applicant that was 19 or 20 (IIRC) and has already worked in state corrections in another state, been a repo man, done loss prevention, and was working as an "auxillary" officer with a small town in a neighboring county. I put "auxillary" in quotes because our state does not officially recognize such a thing, only RESERVE officers. This was a designation the agency used when a reserve could not carry a gun (in this case their policies prevented a person under 21 from carrying, even on duty). I forgot to mention that he drove an old Crown Vic with a wrap-around push bumper.

    ANYWAYS...he did a ride-along with me and regaled me with stories from his vast experience. Eventually, we ended up having to have another agency's DRE examine a driver that we stopped. After that contact, he had to "have a talk with me" because I was "going to be getting a phone call." Turns out that while he was loss prevention he had chased and apprehended a shoplifter that had later died in custody (legitamitely not his fault). He felt that this had biased members of the other agency against him and said that they (the other agency) had made complaints against him to his department regarding his off-duty driving behavior and allegedly intimidating other motorists by folloiwng them around, etc. None of that was ever substantiated and the officer(s) that made the complaints never identified themselves. Then I find out that right after he was a repo man he had picked up a charge for leaving the scene of an injury accident after driving away while his own car was being repossesed, and tossing the repo guy off the car. KEEP IN MIND THIS KID IS ONLY 20!

    Needless to say, we didn't hire him. The scary thing is, if he applied today, they just might take him.

    Fast forward about a year. In that time I've seen his car around, sporting first blue (volunteer fire) and then purple ("funeral escort") lights on the dash and an arrow stick. He was telling people he was a volunteer firefighter with a department in the county that he didn't actually work for (verified by the agency). Private funeral escorts are extremely uncommon around here.

    One night we recieve an attempt to locate on a possible intoxicated driver. The reporting party follows the guy all the way to his apartment building parking lot and then "detains him" there. I responded, along with another agency. The officer from the other agency ended up handling the drunk (he was actually drunk) and I discover that our reporting party, is none other than our hero, the corrections/repo/auxiallary/loss prevention/volunteer FF/storm chaser (forgot to mention that)/bouncer (current occupation) kid. He's quite proud of himself and gloats that he has all of the drunk's driving behavior recorded on his IN-CAR VIDEO. The officer from the other agency told him in no uncertain terms that he would provide the video or the officer would obtain a search warrant for it and seize the entire video system.

    Haven't seen the kid in over a year, though, so that's good. There's another one with an old Crown Vic running around town that has an antenna farm, arrow stick, and "Illinois State Police" license plate frame (we're not in Illinois...)
  5. Angry Fist

    Angry Fist Dehumanizer® Lifetime Member

    Dec 30, 2009
    Hellbilly Hill
    This is gunna be good.

  6. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

    Dec 18, 2004
    San AntonioTexas
    ...yeah, I think it is.
  7. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

    Dec 18, 2004
    San AntonioTexas

    I just learned today that storm chasers are now(the newest) part of the whacker club. They put lights on their cars and often all kinds of other stuff...a lot of it that is, of course, meant to look as official as they can.

    We really dont have them here, so maybe this is old news to some but I find it interesting that the tool in your story...of course included that one on his resume.
  8. Storm chaser?

    From now on anyone who asks what I do, I'm going to say "storm chaser." To get my story straight, as a storm chaser, would I be a volunteer or a NOAA employee?
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2011
  9. I have to say that some of the "storm chasers" are certified medics or FFs, the tornado season doesnt last that long so they do other things as well. With that said I do have to admit it is a bit "whackerish"
  10. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

    Dec 18, 2004
    San AntonioTexas
    I am speaking of the dufuses who just chase after tornados in order to be youtube famous.
  11. Hack

    Hack Crazy CO Gold Member

    If you find any posing as ex military, posing as something that they are not, they are breaking federal law. By all means go ahead and charge him, or report on him.
  12. :cheers:, i sure hope there's more, this is too much fun. i think somebody forgot to hand out the meds to some of these guys. :rofl:
  13. Holster sniffers. :rofl:

    Perhaps they are on the other end of the spectrum from experienced confrontationists....... :supergrin:
  14. Storm chasers... now that you mentioned it... I have been seeing quite a bit of non-CVPI vehicles on the freeways with antenna farms and that huge sky tower CB radio antenna wobbling in the wind. I think one Subaru did have some ambers mounted in various spots. Now it makes sense... because as you all know, we have a lot of tornadoes and storms in the greater Los Angeles area, for sure!

    As for whackers... too many around because we have a few local regional academies and a lot of pre-service guys who never will be hired end up being security whackers. On that topic, it seems like these guys all gravitate toward the same fields:

    -Security (of course)
    -Loss Prevention
    -Public Safety (security by another name)
    -Mixed Martial Art hang-around
    -Volunteer at a police department, fire department, or any other public agency to get that public agency ID, including the local library
    -Parking Enforcement

    So, as for whackers... and I hate to say this, but there's a local guy who's actually not a bad guy. He wants to be a cop really really really bad but cannot due to some physical and medical issues (overweight being one), and I always see him around town wearing various tee shirts that have department names on it, and most of the time, having a silk screened badge on the chest. He will tell you the whole story about his experience with the explorers and how he was medical'ed out of the academy and whatnot... sad thing is... like I said, he is a nice guy, just has that hunger that will never be satisfied.
  15. The-Fly

    The-Fly The Bofh

    Apr 27, 2005

    I have to confess, I do some occasional storm chasing myself (not anywhere near as nutty as the guys you see on TV....), and I know a few guys do run some fairly bright LED type flashers on their cars. These guys aren't using their lights in a "wacker" type fashion, but when they're on the side on the road observing a rotating wall cloud or something to that effect, and the visibility is crap, the usefulness of the lights becomes apparent.

    Of course the group I know, none of the gear looks anything like LE gear, and the guys aren't using their lights when they're in motion, etc.

    Speaking of wackers, I once got accused here of being a wacker myself after posting pictures of my mobile radio (FYI - Ham radio operator here) :rofl:

    Personally I think my mobile looks far better then the crap you guys use to yak away on :tongueout:


  16. Panzergrenadier1979

    Panzergrenadier1979 Keystone Cop

    Jan 16, 2009
    Central Pennsylvania

  17. rockapede


    Sep 3, 2009
    We had a kid who had been a jailer at the local SO but had been terminated (for domestic assault...). He told the Sheriff he had "lost" his ID card. He was making stops in town in his truck with a red light stuck to his dash and "warning" people for all sorts of traffic violations. As one can imagine, this did not go on long before the citizens got suspicious of the hick in the lifted Chevy with no uniform telling them he was a deputy sheriff (which he had never been even when employed). One guy called it in and specifically mentioned this bright young soul had flashed his SO id card when he stopped the guy.

    I found the kid in his truck that night, red light now in the back seat. He tells me he has not stopped anyone but has simply followed them to wherever they were going before warning them. I ask for consent to search him and his truck for the ID card and he says, "I don't think so. This is a trust issue, don't you trust me?" Wrong answer. I arrested him for impersonating an officer and towed his truck. I got a warrant and searched the truck to find the ID, then charged him with theft.

    Will the charges stick? With our prosecutor, maybe not. I do know, however, that I've successfully prevented that moron from ever working in LE in my state.
  18. RussP

    RussP Super Moderator Moderator

    Jan 23, 2003
    Central Virginia
    Looking for their "Dorothy Moment"...:wavey:
  19. lloydchristmas

    lloydchristmas 132 and Bush

    May 22, 2010
    I love this.

    Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine
  20. Ducowti


    Jan 11, 2009
    Stayed at a RedRoof last week in the Greensboro NC area. As a concerned guest I queried the security chap, who was a total cliche, about what kind of riffraff are active warranting his presence. 'Honestly, the usual drugs and prostitution. But there's only one room right now I'm watching, it's an ongoing investigation.' :upeyes: He continued, 'but don't worry I've got my undercovers coming by later.' :upeyes: :upeyes:

    Walking the dog later (the reason I had to slum it at the RR) I watched him execute a rather untactical entry into a room whose door was ajar, baton at the ready :shocked: