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Tech Support

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Delta, Dec 12, 2006.

  1. Delta

    Delta ThExtremeMember

    Mar 17, 2002
    North Texas
    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
    that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
    lot of space and valuable resources. In addition , Wife 1.0 installed
    itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
    activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting
    and Fishing 7.5, Golfing 3.6 and Motorcycling 9.5
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
    my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
    7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


    A Troubled User.

    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
    just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and it is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
    impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
    impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
    allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
    Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the
    situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
    alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
    ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
    will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 ! is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5, Do Bills 4.2 and Have Sex 8.8. Although we are having some problems with the last application and its failure to launch on a consistant basis.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
    cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens,
    the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
    additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
    irreversible damage to the operating system.
  2. Egyas

    Egyas Troll Hater

    Oldie but goodie! :rofl:

  3. Delta

    Delta ThExtremeMember

    Mar 17, 2002
    North Texas
    With all the crap, happening these days. I needed to be able to laugh for a little while.