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Retired

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Dec 19, 2004.


  1. okie

    okie
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    GT Mayor

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    64,670
    1,524
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    Ramblings of a Retired Mind -



    I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

    You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

    I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

    I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'.

    I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."

    I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is fal! ling into your drawers!

    I know, when people see a cat's! litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

    Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

    Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?

    I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
     
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